pervy weirdo and the bathroom guy | minsung text au | ✔️

4 | new boyfie

HOES + 🍼
9/14/19
11:37 am

mosquito
so
what are our thots on momma woo's new man

jisang
kinda sketch tbh
i mean
his name is literally B A N G CHAN
b  a  n  g

prince hyunjin
i like his hair
and his tattoo sleeve

uwu child
he seems nice
and hyung looks at chan the way jisung looks at pizza

salt lake city
he DID pull out hyung's chair for him
👀
chivalry ain't dead i can tell you that

jisang
we all know that woojin wouldn't be going out with him if he was a bad dude tho

mosquito
truuuu
mama woo's literally the only smart one in our friend group

salt lake city
i object
don't group me in with you hoes

prince hyunjin
oh please
who was the one that set the microwave for an hour instead of one minute, then proceeded to forget about said microwave for another six hours?

salt lake city
that was you tho????

prince hyunjin
was it?
oh shit
you think woojin will let me go home if i tell him i need to check my microwave

salt lake city
you did not
tell me you weren't stupid enough to make the same mistake twice

mosquito
SOMEONE JUST KICKED ME BE PREPARED TO CATCH THESE MUTHAFUCKIN HANDS

uwu child
oh sorry i was uncrossing my legs

mosquito
oh
nevermind then

jisang
CODE RED
CODE
FUCKING
RED
ROJO
ROUGE
ROT
CODE RED
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
PANIC
MODE
CODE RED

prince hyunjin
omg fuckin chill jEsUs
but also WHAT ARE YOU OKAY WHAT IS HAPPENING DO I NEED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE

mosquito
do i need to amputate something

salt lake city
why does your mind automatically go to amputation

mosquito
it's just the way i'm wired dawg

uwu child
hyungie why do you look so pale

prince hyunjin
do we need to get mama woo to activate karen mode

jisang
BATHROOM GUY IS IN THE BUILDING
I REPEAT
BATHROOM GUY
IS IN
THE BUILDING

prince hyunjin
wHAT
WHERE
WHO IS HE

jisang
THE GUY STANDING BY THE DOOR LOOKING AWKWARD

mosquito
why he cute tho

jisang
no not that one the other one

mosquito
oh
even cuter tbh

prince hyunjin
why he here tho??? we named him B A T H R O O M  G U Y for a reason
you're only supposed to embarrass yourself in front of him in the bathroom

salt lake city
idk maybe he just wants to enjoy a peaceful lunch by himself in the corner far away from us

jisang
THEN WHY IS HE SUDDENLY HEADIGN TOWARD OUR TABLE
WAIT WHY DOES OUR TABLE HAVE AN OPEN SEAT
WHY DID CHAN GET UP AND GIVE HIM A BRO HUG
WHY DID CHAN INTRODUCE HIM TO US
WHY DID WE MAKE EYE CONTACT
WHY IS HE SO CUTE
EVEN HIS NAME IS CUTE
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SITTIGN ACROSS FROM ME
WHY IS THIS SO AWKWARD
IM GONNA CRY WHAT IS AHPPENING
WHY DOES WOOJINS NEW BOYFIE HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH BATHROOM GUY
whAt

prince hyunjin
well that was a longass ride from start to finish
also the way you stumbled over your words when you introduced yourself was so bad omg fucking lOser

uwu child
ahaha lOser

salt lake city
STOP CORRUPTING THE BABY YOU IMBECILES

mosquito
i can't breathe
i legit can't breathe
that wasn't even that funny
why can't i breathe

jisang
you guys really aren't helping i think i'm gonna die
or cry
maybe both
probably both

uwu child
oops
sorry hyungie
;(((

jisang
i'm going to the bathroom before i make a fool out of myself
agAIn

prince hyunjin
have fun

salt lake city
don't fall in

mosquito
think of me

jisang
bitch you know it

mosquito
;)

jisang
WHY DID HE FOLLOW ME INTO THE BATHROOM WTF

a/n;
i have like fourteen more chapters basically ready to upload,, but at the same time i wanna be a mean author and keep ya'll waiting