Chapter 9

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To Gautham's surprise, he found his mum still awake. She was sitting in the living room with a book and specs. She looked up removing her specs as soon as she heard Gautham come in.

"Where were you today?? I heard you took half a day leave from office. You should have called to let me know that you were going to be late home", Renuka asked and scolded with an underlying concern.

"I was with Sindhu.", Gautham replied simply but came and sat beside his mum and leaned on her shoulders. The unease in his mind was visible on his face. Gautham was pretty close to his family particularly his mum and Renuka knew Gautham as the back of her hands.

"Don't tell me you have a problem with Sindhu's drinking habit. Then I will have to call my own son a male chauvinistic pig and I know I raised you better than that.", Renuka asked jokingly but her eyes were actually serious.

Gautham let out hearty laughter and said, "You don't have to worry about that. Thankfully so you did not raise a male chauvinistic pig." Gautham paused and looked at his mum and continued in a serious tone, " I don't know how much she told you but she said she had a pretty serious drinking issue a while back."

Renuka sighed and replied after thinking for a while, "All Sindhu told was she had the habit of drinking while she stayed in Bangalore but her expression kinda gave away. I figured it was more serious than that but she doesn't know me enough to trust me fully. So I played dumb."

"I was a bit worried when she first said how serious a problem it was but the fact that she knows the seriousness of the issue and that she had accepted it. I figured it won't be much of a problem. From what I saw, she seemed to be repulsed just at the thought of alcohol now.", Gautham told her mum thoughtfully.

Renuka nodded calmly and then asked after some thought, "Then why were you having such a long face when you came in."

"I don't know, mom," Gautham said still in thoughts. After a while, he shook his head forcefully trying to come out of his head that seemed to be running a couple of miles an hour.

"I told Sindhu "Yes" for the marriage today.", Gautham told his mum straight up.

Renuka observed her son carefully and asked, "And now you are having second thoughts??"

"No.", Gautham replied anxiously and started explaining. "I mean it's not that. I am just not able to make sense of it. I mean you know me. I overthink every insignificant detail before I make any decision. And marriage is such a big decision and I just... I had already told 'yes' before I could even comprehend what I was doing."

"I mean I was watching her play in the beach. It was like I was in a trance. I just thought that Life won't be so bad with Sindhu. And I just went up to her and said yes. I mean what if we are not actually compatible. I mean I know her for only two weeks. What if something changes and we both end up miserable because of my one impulsive decision??" Gautham asked. The worry was very apparent in his voice.

Renuka looked at her son slightly amused and said in a calm gentle tone, "Gautham, marriage is not one of your cases where you analyze every last detail and take a decision based on pros and cons. Marriage is a leap of faith. And there will be endless amounts of "What if?". You will just have to believe that you will be able to work through it when the situation changes."

"I know, mom. It's just Sindhu is scared of commitments. You should have seen her face when I told her. It was as if I had given her death sentence or something. How am I supposed to convince her when I don't have any answers??" Gautham asked in a very anxious voice.

"You like her, don't you??", Renuka asked with a big smile on her face.

"Yes, mom. I do like her.", Gautham replied with a smile. "I don't know how to even explain it. I am just drawn to her like a magnet. I have this sudden burst of patience whenever I am around her that I am baffled with my own actions. It's so scary how happy she makes me. I mean what will happen if I am not able to convince her???"

"Just like you felt, you have to just show that Life won't be so bad with you. And as far as I can tell, she does like you. Or else she wouldn't have taken the effort to come over and get to know me and your pop. Just give her time okay. She is trying as best as she can to make this work. The least we can do to repay that effort is to give her time to sort out her feelings." Renuka said running her hands through his hairs and let him lay on her laps.

Gautham thought through what his mum said carefully. After a while, he said, "It's just... when I first agreed for an arranged marriage, all I wanted was a peaceful straight forward relationship. And with Sindhu, there is bound to be a lot of drama. The scary part is I am okay with it just after knowing her for two weeks.

I am already planning for a future with her when I don't even know if she will be willing to share it with me. And now I am too damn scared to even ask her what she thinks about me."

Renuka just let him ramble for a while knowing too well that Gautham is over analyzing everything and she knew nothing she says is going to stop him from overthinking. 

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