On Opposite Ends. {Snufkin x OC}

-Chapter 23- Jax

Three months go by Winter is almost upon Moominvalley.

I slowly started to ease back into my old habits. They kept me distracted from the fact that my mother had passed. The bartender noticed my slow improvements on my attitude, though I don’t remember the last time I had smiled. A real smile, one that exerted genuine happiness. It hadn’t crossed my face once for the past months, even when I started to play my fiddle again. Nothing, I felt empty. Like I was just a hollow shell ready to crack at any point. 
“Maybe if I had been here sooner she wouldn’t have been gone, if only I had taken better care of her, if only I hadn't traveled maybe there would have been at least the slightest chance, I could’ve seen her smile. God, I’d give anything to see her smile.” Bargaining. 
“I miss you.”
    “Where have you gone Jax.” I muttered to myself. “Where is mother’s little girl, what happened to you? You’ve gone all numb.” I could feel a trail of hot tears stream down my face. 
    “Your emotions have deceived you, they’ve turned you all grey. They’ve drained you of your colors. The colors that made you, yourself. The ones that made you stand out. You perform the actions but they don’t feel the same! They feel forced! Staged! A facade you put up to make them feel okay! What’s wrong Jax? They ask!” I screamed at the top of my lungs until my voice had given out once more. 
    “Then you reply, oh nothing. How are you?” I lied on the plush carpet in my living room. It was empty, dark and cold. I was surrounded by pictures and memories of my past, they interrogated me from their places on the walls. Taunting me, terrifying me. This was just how it was. I cried and screamed then cried and screamed again. I was like a child having a tantrum, but instead it was my emotions toying with me. Depression. I curled up into a ball. I felt like I was dying, until I heard the knock on my door that saved me.

Hi!
Soo, I've been gone for a bit. Sorry! My school work has been piled up high but I have it a bit under control now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as always be sure to comment your thoughts on how I could make the story better for you! I try to reply to all my commenters! Anyway, ILYSM!
Later~