Citizen Z

Chapter 7

475 days since the virus spread.

The next day.

I couldn't stop worrying about Frank. I don't know where he is or what's happening to him. I don't even know where we are driving to. We've been driving all night.

I sigh and rest my head on window, looking out into the dry darkest outside. The stars are bright and the moon is full. I can hear the wind blowing outside the car.

"Okay, I've had enough of this!" Ray says loudly and glares at me in the mirror,"You're going to stop crying and get over yourself."

I wipe my eyes and embarrassedly look at Mikey. I turn my back to Ray that he doesn't see my face anymore, I silently stare out the window.

"Come on Ray, be nice, this is hard on him. What if it was me, would you be so calm and collected? So please, just give him a break." Mikey whispers to Ray, making sweet eye contact with him.

Ray just looks forward onto the road again, holding onto the steering wheel tightly.

"No, we can't go on like this..." He looks at me, I could see the sympathy in his eyes, "Look Gerard, he's going to be okay, I promise. Come on, I know you're worried but everything will be fine. We're going in prepared. Alpha-Z's aren't that unreasonable, but just watch your back."

"Alpha-Z's?" I question, my voice is hoarse from being upset.

I haven't spoke in a while. I couldn't, not without starting to feel vulnerable again.

"They named themself that for a reason. They're the toughest group out here in Kentucky, you don't want to be their enemy... but they do negotiate. That's all we can hope for, I should know, I use to be one of them...but that was a long time ago." Ray sighs and grips tightly onto the steering wheel.

He looks troubled.

"Why did you leave if they offered you protection against the zombies?" I ask, not making eye contact with him.

"I didn't want to do the awful things they made me to earn my keep, there are just things, things I can't ever unsee which I wish I could and things I never want to speak of again," He takes a deep breath, before continuing to speak, "We raided a place which we heard was packed full of resources, we had sick and hungry people who needed help. It turned out to be a shelter for children who became orphans during the apocalypse. They didn't care, they killed every last one of them. I can still see the tears in the children's eyes as they begged and screamed for their lives. It's an image I can never get out of my head."

Mikey puts his hand reassuringly on Ray's shoulder. Ray takes his hand and sighs deeply.

"Oh Ray, that's awful." I mutter softly, imagining what it must have been like to be in his shoes.

Carrying that on your shoulders for the rest of your life, that's awful. The guilt should be unbearable. It explains so much about him.

"After that...I left. I couldn't do what they wanted after that. They've had their knife in for me ever since, they took something from me, so I just left one night and never came back. We've run into them a few times before, it doesn't always end pretty but we've made it through. It's probably why they took Frank, they want to send us a message or they want something. This is normally how they try to get your attention."