Citizen Z

Chapter 12

480 days since the virus spread

Next morning

It's still dark outside, probably almost dawn. I can hear the wind howling outside and the thunder in the distance. It's a stormy day.

I wake up to Frank stroking my head on his lap. I could see he looks upset and he doesn't look like he's gotten a wink of sleep last night. He is deep in thought.

Mikey and Ray stand in the opposite of the cave, busy with their own things while chatting cheerfully. They pack up all of the sleeping bags and fill up all of the water bottles.

I look back at Frank, who looks like he hasn't been able to sleep. There are dark bags under his eyes and he is a bit pale.

As we make eye contact, he starts smiling.

"How are you feeling?" Frank whispers and softly strokes my cheek.

"I'm fine, what about you?" I sigh and snuggle my head even more into Frank's lap.

"I didn't get any sleep last night." He says bluntly and yawns.

There's a few seconds of silence.

Frank suddenly looks extremely upset, it seems that last night is still fresh in his mind.

I hope he doesn't bring it up, I feel totally embarrassed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"About what?" I say, playing dumb.

"About what happened last night, I didn't know about your anxiety and depression. Mikey told me everything about you, I'm so sorry." He says, looking very uncomfortable.

Why did Mikey have to tell him? I wanted to tell him on my own time, when I felt I was ready to share the dark part of myself with him. I didn't want him to find out via the grape vine about my past. About our past, it didn't want it to come out this way.

Mikey and Ray look at us as Frank's voice sounded a lot more angry and upset than usual. Frank is usually a lot more in control of his emotions, but today he seems beside himself in envy.

Ray looks over at me, looking intimidated by Frank's emotional condition at this point. His eyes are wide and he looks at me. I sign him with my head to leave us for a little while.

I need to talk to Frank, alone.

"Uhm, we're going to give you guys some room. We will start packing everything in the Rover and wait for y'all to finish up." Ray says and takes Mikey by his hand towards the outside of the cave.

I can see them peaking to see what's going to happen. I didn't really care if they eavesdrop, I'm more worried about Frank's emotional state. I need to explain to him that nothing is wrong with me.

Frank waits until they leave and then starts attempting to talk, but his words just come out in wails. He is extremely upset, a lot more than I thought he would be.

He tries to pull himself back and takes a few deep breaths with his face in his hands, giving me time to try and explain myself.