Stay.

Chapter 14

I rubbed my clammy hands against my thighs as I waited in anticipation for my name to be called. I let out a shaky breath trying to contain my nerves but I was failing miserably, I knew the fear was written all over my pale face.

I can do this.

I reminded myself over and over.

I had applied for a couple of jobs at the hospitals that was near me, I was ready to throw myself back into work, I had to much time on my hands, I no longer felt like I had purpose in life no more, and that is isn't a feeling I wanted to last.

My heart was now hammering against my chest as the minutes seemed to drag by. I saw a lady come out of a room, her chestnut hair swaying as she walked towards me. "Millie Johnson," she asked as she flashed me a wide smile.

I instantly jumped onto my feet before showing her a weak smile back. "Yep, that's me." My shaky voice coming out as a whisper.

"Follow me please," she was already walking in the direction she just come from.

I practically ran behind her, there was no way I was taking the chance of getting lost so I stayed close behind her, she didn't attempt to speak any further and neither did I, I felt like if i opened my mouth wide enough I'd thrown up all over the fresh moped marble floors.

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An hour later I walked out of the building letting out the biggest breath I could manage, I leant against the wall for support as the shock of the news I just received seemed to send my body into shut down mode.

I though the interview was going terrible, I was stuttering, sweating, mumbling. I was a complete reckon but they must have seen some potential in me becuase they offered me the job there and then, I didn't know how I reframed myself from jumping on the two ladies and smothering them in kisses as a thank you, of course I stayed as professional as I could, showing them a wide smile, they didn't know on the inside I felt like having a outburst of madness.

I got the job. I muttered to myself as the smile on my flushed face only grew wider.

I pushed myself off the wall and began making my way back to the car, I was more than happy to stand against the wall for the next hour but the fear of them running out after me saying they had made a mistake made my body find some strength to get the hell out of there until I started my first day.

As I pulled up outside my home all I seemed to feel was emptiness. I mean I had manage to fulfill my dream of helping others so I should feel pure happiness right?

But I didn't, the children were still at school I still had another three hours before I needed to collect them so that meant the house was empty, which meant I was back to silence.

I didn't even have anyone to call to share the news with, just me myself and I until the children were back home.

If I wasnt advoiding Adam then I would have texted him, nah let's be honest here I would have called him just so I could hear his voice.

God I missed him.

It had only been a week, a bloody week and yet all I could seem to do with think of him. When I saw him at the school I just wanted to wrap my arms around him, and tell him I don't want space, I want to be surrounded by him constantly. To let him know when he was around my heart didn't seem to ache as much.

I wanted my friend back.

I want this loneliness feeling to disappear permanently.

I was back to the life I had before Adam.

Hollow and weak.

A frustrated sigh left my lips as I continuted to sit in my damn car, I couldn't seem to bring myself inside just yet so I roared the car back to life and tried running away from the emptiness my body continuted to fill.

After fifteen minutes of driving around with the radio up on full volume to block out my unwanted thoughs I saw my phone flashing which caught my attention, I quickly pulled over to the side of the road, turned the radio off and reached for my phone.

A number flashing against the screen I didn't recognise, I hit the call button, bringing the phone to my ear. "Hello,"

"Millie Johnson?" A deep mans voice poured through the line.

"Yes that's me, who is this?" My heart beginning to thump against my chest.

"This is Brandon, I'm calling about Calvin."

Oh god.
Please No.

How does he know Calvin and why the hell would he be calling for him?

Did he drink too much?
Overdose.

Please no.

"Is he okay?" I asked trying to hide the fear rushing through my body. It had been a month since I last saw him, since the night he took his anger to far. I tried blocking that night out as if it never existed.

I should have gone to the police and filed a missing person report but the fear of him not changing his ways and continue to be the person I was slowly beginning to hate prevented me from doing so, or worse than that I was scared I'd hear news that would break my children completely.

"Yes his fine, sorry I should have started with that, erm.. I work at a rehab, Calvin has been here for the past month. He informed me you had no idea on his where abouts so I though I'd put your mind at ease, his safe and getting help to get clean." He was saying the words I had prayed to hear for so long, words I never thought would fall from another lips.

Calvin was finally getting help.

Tears were rushing down my face as relief washed over my body, I felt relief for my children's sake that there father had finally admitted he wasn't okay, he managed to push his pride to the side in the hope to change.

The tears continued to fall as I wore a wide smile "I..." I couldn't seem to form any words, I wanted to ask so many questions at once my brain couldn't keep up.

"Are you okay Miss?" Brandon asked.

I quickly cleared my throat trying to steady the emotions that still swam around my body. "Y-yes, sorry, wow. Thank you for calling Brandon, can we see him?" I knew it would he hard to see him but I would happily swollow my feelings down so our children to see there father after so long of being apart.

I could hear the pause in his breath as he took a moment to speak again. "Calvin would like to wait a little longer before he sees you and the children,"

"Okay, well how is he doing?" I tried hiding the disappointment in my voice as he isn't ready to see the children yet.

"I'm sorry Miss Johnson, I can not discuss Calvin's progress with you, like i said I just wanted to inform you that his here."

That was enough for me, he was where he needed to be, he was in safe hands so that Brandon's answer was enough to prevent me from asking any more questions.

"Okay, thank you so much for calling me, could you just pass along a message?" I asked.

"Depends on what the message is Miss Johnson."

"Can you tell him I'm proud of him."
I know Calvin's put me through a lot since he found drink and drugs but he was still the father of my children, the man who showed me what love felt like, and I was proud of him, it just made me sad that I wasn't able to convince him to go while we was together.

There was a few second pause, as if he was processing what I had said "Absolutely, enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thank you, you too." I hit the end button before chucking my phone onto the empty seat next to me. I stared up to the sky and muttered 'thank you' to who ever was looking down at me.