I'm Fine

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Cross's POV

Why do I have to be such a mistake? Why don't they understand? I pick up the small blade I have hidden under my mattress. I only got it because I thought it looked cool, but that's not what I use it for now. I hold the knife against my arm before pressing down until blood starts leaking from the cut. It's gotten easier to do as time went on. I never make it deep enough to scar, just deep enough to bleed. That way no one is able to tell.

I don't want to bug anyone with my problems, their own problems are enough and I don't need them to worry about me. Besides, if I do tell anyone, they won't leave me alone and that'll only make it worse.

I know people care about me, but I've hurt so many people. I just don't want to hurt them too. I know they'd be upset if I didn't exist anymore.

I clean the blade of the knife and put it back into its hiding space. The slight stinging pain takes my mind off of the emotional pain.

There's a knock on the door. "Cross?" It's Killer. I know he wants to help me but Nightmare won't let him. We're both afraid of him so I have to figure it out on my own.

I hadn't even noticed that I was crying until this point. "Yeah?" My voice breaks a little bit but I'm able to correct it quickly. Having to cover up that I've been crying is something I learned pretty quickly around here, no weakness is accepted. I have to be the best or I'm a failure.

"We have a mission briefing, let's go." I wipe my tears and calm myself before opening the door. "You good, Cross?"

I give him a practiced smile, one without any emotion at all behind it. "I'm fine, let's go."

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