Playing With Knives- LoZ

scene 56- diary

At first, Twilight just assumed that Wild was putting his head back down. Them, he realized that he had fallen asleep. He didn't worry too much, though. It made sense that he'd be tired. So he just told the others to not bother him.

●●●

Red.

He saw red.

A dark, pinkish red.

Malice.

Red.

He saw red.

A pinkish red.

Not as dark this time.

The color of corrupted Skeikah machines.

The guardians.

Those evil bastards.

He saw

●●●

Red and black, and maybe some pink.

It never stops.

Sticky and disgusting, and it kind of smells too.

It never stops.

Pulsing evil, it scares me.

It never stops.

Maybe he'll come.
My prince, my knight.

Maybe he'll wake up after his too-long nap.
And maybe he'll know who I am, just like he did before.

I've been here too long.
I'm losing my mind.
He's been lost too long.
He's losing his mind.

She saw it. She wished she didn't. But she saw

●●●

It had been a few hours, and Wild still hadn't woken up. Hopefully he'd get up soon. Twilight found it sort of odd that he had been asleep for so long, but he didn't question it.

He just went back to figuring out how to cook as well as Wild. Maybe there were some recipes on the Sheikah slate. He'd ask when Wild woke up. He didn't want to intrude on his privacy.

However, it appeared that Wind was already doing that. He was holding the Sheikah slate, scrolling through something.
"Wind! What are you doing?"
"I'm looking at the pictures. There are some pretty funny ones. Like this one."

Wind held it up, showing Twilight a picture of Wild smiling and pointing at a flaming patch of grass while fruit floated in the updraft that it created.
"Huh. I guess you're right. That is kind of funny."
"Yeah."

He looked at it again and flipped through some more pictures before he found the one he wanted. He held it up again, and this time it showed Wild laughing and running away from a large beast that was charging at him.
"He looks really happy and not at all like he is now. I mean, who would be this excited about something trying to kill hi- oh. Nevermind. Anyways, there are a lot of funny pictures on here. I also found some diary entries. I haven't read them yet. Here's some of the first one. It's kind of long.
'Entry one:
I've decided to keep a diary of sorts on this. A journal. I saw Wind writing in a notebook, and I thought that this would be a good idea. It's a way to keep track of myself, I guess. Myself and my feelings.'
And another:
'Entry two:
I'm very confused. I just realized that I also forgot about myself, so I technically don't know me. But it's different from not knowing who my friends were, cuz I can get to know myself, cuz I'm still alive. Anyway, I'll admit that I don't really care as much about myself. Why should I care that much about myself when there's other more important things to be thinking about?'
And the last one:
'Entry 6:
Hey. It's been a while. I've been thinking about things I shouldn't be. I need to stop before I hurt myself. Actually, I've been doing that for ages. Why am I worried about it now? Anyway, this might be one of my last entries. Those... things I've been thinking about. They... well, I'll put it this way. I'll just be blunt.
It's death. I've been thinking about death and how I don't care about it. If I died again, would I really care? Not really. That's what's been troubling me. The fact that I wouldn't mind. But every time it comes close, I'm terrified. The human brain is a b*tch sometimes, isn't it?'
Weird. Wait. That one is from before he..."

Wind slammed the Sheikah slate face-down on the table.
"He was already thinking about it," he hissed through gritted teeth. "It wasn't just me. Why? Why did he do that?"
He looked at Wild, his hand still on the Sheikah slate.
"I wish I could erase that from my mind."
He walked away, arms crossed and looking down.

Twilight only watched him. He walked over to the Skeikah slate, curious about the other entries. He read the rest of the first entry. Wind was right. It was long.

"I've been feeling odd. Sounds vague, I know. Odd as in not happy, but not sad all the time. It's been like this since the I got my last two memories, I think. I just feel... hopeless. Like something bad is going to happen. Not something like the Calamity, but more personal. I'm probably just worrying too much.

Last night, I showed the others some of the stuff that I've found. They liked it. I liked it. It was fun. It's rare that I actually enjoy myself. Partly because I don't really have a chance, but also because it's hard. I can't find much that I actually enjoy. Wind is fun to be around. He reminds me of... something. Or someone. Probably someone. It's that distant kind of remembering. The kind where it seems familiar, but you can't quite put your finger on it. It's a familiar feeling to me.

I've decided that I'm going to pretend that I'm enjoying myself, and maybe that'll make it true. I'm going to do the same with being happy and stuff. Anyways, I don't want the others to worry about me. They have other things to worry about."

He had only been pretending that whole time. And he believed it. Some friend he was.

Entry 3 wasn't too noteworthy. It was just Wild feeling bad for accidentally hitting Wind while training. Entry 4, though...

"Entry 4:
They saw the Gerudo disguise. I'm not sure what they thought. Twilight guessed what it was for, and he was right. That doesn't mean he doesn't think it's weird, though.
I know all of my worries are irrational, but I can't help but convince myself that they're all true. For all I know, this could be a giant Yiga thing. They could all be Yiga spies. Even Wind. He seems so innocent, though. But that would make sense in this context. They want to make it seem like they can be trusted, but they can't.

I've started using this place as a hiding spot, or as a way to run away from stuff. I'm such a coward. I don't even have the Triforce of Courage. The only one I've ever seen is Zelda's. And the others have a picture of the Triforce on their hands. Those Yiga must be really dedicated and serious about this. Although, if they were Yiga, they probably would have killed me already. It they could be trying to make me trust them. I won't let them catch me off-guard."

He thought they were Yiga. He thought they were trying to kill him. Why would he think that? And he kept coming. Either he knew it wasn't true, or...

These diary entries shed some light on several things. It felt odd to read someone else's private thoughts, but it helped him see what was going on inside Wild's head. Or, what was going on before. There weren't any entries from after it happened. Maybe he'd write in it more sometime.