Playing With Knives- LoZ

scene 68- stupid

Wild didn't bother continuing the conversation. It was going nowhere. If Twilight was brushing that whole thing off, he wouldn't think about it. Why should he, if it wasn't important?

He looked over at Wind, who was still asleep.
"Y'know, before you came back, he wouldn't sleep on his own sleeping bag. He'd sleep in yours instead."
He looked back at Twilight.
"Why? Mine is bigger than his."
Twilight looked at him and smiled. He put his hands down and pushed him a little.
"He missed you, stupid."

Missed him? Why would someone miss him, of all people? And was he really stupid? Probably.
He looked down at his lap.

"Sorry. You aren't stupid."
He looked back up at Twilight and smiled.
"You probably think no one would miss you, huh?"
"Well, yeah."
"Did you see how Wind was acting when you first came back?"
He looked away.
"Of course I did. He was probably disappointed that I was back."

"What? What are you talking about? None of us were disappointed at all. Wind especially was super happy."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure? He sure didn't seem all that excited."
"He was in a bit of a slump. Not happy at all. And he didn't leave this place. I think he didn't want his family to see what he was like."
"Understandable. I wouldn't want people I know to worry about me over how I'm feeling."

Twilight looked straight ahead, hands clasped together on the table.
"You're speaking from experience."
"I- yes. I know."
Wild felt a pain on his palms and looked at them. Fingernail marks. He didn't realize how tightly he was holding his fists. He put his hands back down and sighed.
"Is something wrong?"
"No. I'm fine." He stood up. "I should be getting back."
"Really? You just got here."
"Yeah, and I gotta go. It's nighttime and Zelda might be waiting for me."

He walked over to his sleeping bag and picked up his sword.
"But Wind hasn't woken up yet. Don't you want to tell him you're leaving?"
"So? I'll be back. You can tell him I left."
He stuck his sword into the ground and disappeared.

●●●

He pulled the sword out of the ground and stood there for a moment, holding onto the sword tightly. He sighed and relaxed a little. He threw the sword to the ground and fell to his knees.

Why was he so upset? This was nothing to be so angry about. No, wait. He wasn't angry.
He dragged his hands down his face. What was going on with him?

He dropped his hands into the snow and grabbed a handful. He threw the handful of snow and threw it onto the ground. He blinked a few times, his eyes becoming wet. What the hell was going on with him? Jeez. He rubbed his eyes, trying to stop tears. What was he so upset about?

He looked up at the night sky and sighed. Twilight knew. Or maybe he didn't. He probably did.
That was why he was so upset. Probably.

Why was he like this? Getting upset over every little thing. What a stupid thing to do. He rubbed his eyes again, then gave up trying to keep himself from crying. What was the use? He'd be sitting here for ages if he did that. Might as well just let them fall and run out.

"You're speaking from experience."
Didn't he know?
"Is something wrong?"
There was always something wrong.
"But Wind hasn't woken up yet. Don't you want to tell him you're leaving?"
Yes, he did. Why didn't he say it? As far as he knew, that could have been the last time he saw him.

But he couldn't go back now. They'd think he was stupid. And to come back crying? They'd know something was wrong.

He should try and change this. But what could he do?
Try to think happy? Yeah, right. Like that'd work. That's something a stupid person would say.
And he was stupid. Maybe it really was that simple. Probably. He was probably just overreacting to all of this. It was simple. Just be happy.

Ah, who was he kidding?

He knew fully well that wouldn't work. Why would it work? Who could be that stupid? Even he wasn't stupid enough to think that.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"He missed you, stupid."
He was stupid.
"Sorry. You aren't stupid."
Yes, he was.

●●●

"Link? Where are you? It's been two hours- oh. What's wrong?"

He heard Zelda run through the snow towards him, but he didn't raise his head.

"Link? Are you okay?"
"Obviously not."
"I-I know. C'mon, you shouldn't sit out here in the cold like this."

He felt her pull on his arm, but he didn't move.

"Link- oh, what's the use? Stay here, okay?"
"I'm not going anywhere."

He heard her walk away. So she just gave up on him. Of course.
He heard footsteps coming closer, then he felt a blanket get placed on top of him.

"If you won't move, you at least have to be warm. Wait, where's my coat?"
Shit. He left it with the others. They'd think he was stupid for sure.

"It's okay if you left it somewhere. I don't mind. I can get another one."
"I'm sorry... I'm so stupid."
"No, no you aren't. You're smart. You aren't stupid. You figured out those shrines."
"Quit lying to me!" He lifted his head. "Everyone keeps lying to me! Nobody missed me! They liked it while I was gone!"

He stood up and backed away, sobbing.
"Stop lying... just tell me the truth, okay?"
"I-I am telling the truth. Why would you think that I'm lying?"
"Be-because I know none of that us true."
"Please, Link, just listen to what you're saying."

"I don't deserve that name! Stop calling me that! I shouldn't be the hero! I'm a worthless piece of shit! I'm f**king shit!"
Zelda stood up and took a step forward, reaching out to him.
"That isn't true. You do deserve to be the hero. I saw that you read my old diary. Didn't you see what I wrote about you?"
"Yes. And you didn't like me."
"I- you're missing the point. My father chose you for a reason. He wasn't stupid."

"I was good then. Not anymore."
"You destroyed the Calamity."
"No, you did. I did nothing but swing my sword and shoot arrows. You did all the work. I just helped."
"I'm the one who helped. You-"
"Shut up. This is the only thing I'm ever right about. I'm useless, and no matter how hard I or anyone else tries, I will always be useless. I'm a burden on everyone. You can't even tell me what we're doing without me freaking out. All I did before was follow you around, and all I do now is follow you around and cry about every little thing that inconveniences me. You think you're helping, but you aren't. You're just hurting me more. I can't do this anymore. Leave me alone."