Last To Know

Part 22

     That night you cried yourself to sleep, memories floating around your head between you and Nathan. For some reason, you just couldn't stop picturing those deep, beautiful green eyes of his and his perfect smile. You kept hearing his voice softly singing Personal Soldier to you. That didn't help matters much and just made you cry even more. Why did I ever let myself fall for him? Why couln't I have realised that someone like Nathan Sykes could ever love me? You question yourself.

       As you were asleep you dreamed that you were in a dark room. You were scared to move, scared to breathe.

     "Y/N!" You hear Nathan's voice. He sounded so desperate to get to you. You wanted to just run away, away from his voice, away from him. Suddenly, there was light. You realised you were standing in a hallway with doors to your left and right, stretching as far as you can see. "Y/N! We need to talk!" He sounded close.

     "No, we don't, Nathan." You hear yourself say. You had no control over what you said or did. Because before you knew it, you were running forward, down the never ending hallway. There were footsteps behind you, but you didn't look back. You just kept running and running, as fast as you can. Then, you just stopped. You stopped running and tried to keep going but your legs would no longer move. A hand grabbed your arm and made your heart flip. Then, you woke up.

     You sit up so fast and with so much force, you fall out of bed. "Ow!" You say as you hit your forehead on the bedside table. "Great." You mutter. You put your hand up to your head and see that it's bleeding. You ignored it and looked at your phone. There were countless missed calls and messages from none other than Nathan. You see that your battery was almost dead. You just turn it off, not wanting to deal with charging it just to have it die again. You walk downstairs and look for Maggie.

        "Maggie?" You call out. She comes bounding from the kitchen and barks happily. You feed her, give her water, and get into the shower. While in there, you just stand under the warm water and let it pour over you. You wish it could just drown you. End all of this pain. But then you thought about Alex, Maggie, mom, and all of the other people you care about. You shake that thought out of your head. You've never caused yourself harm intentionally and you didn't want to start.

         When you finally get out and get dressed, you go into the living room and sit on the couch. What did I ever do to deserve this? You wonder. So much has happened over the past few weeks and you let it all play through your head. You saw yourself getting ready for the concert, bounding excitedly down the stairs in your favorite T-shirt, The Wanted of course. You saw yourself getting into the car, smiling at Alex, anxious to just go already. Going to the concert, replaying all of those times Nathan kept looking in your direction, appearing somewhat distracted. You remember how you felt getting all of the lads' autographs, hugging them, taking photos with them, and how nervous you were calling the number written on your autograph from Nathan. You recall how excited you were that it was Nathan's real number and him asking you out. A tear fell down your cheek as you kept on going, going out on all of those dates with Nath again, feeling the same kind of warmth and protection in his strong arms. The memory of Penny hurting you, causing you to be in a coma for a couple days and Nathan's words that he said. The song that he sang to you. The look of relief in his eyes when you woke up. All that came back to you and you felt overwhelmed. More tears fell and you realised you weren't escaping this heartbreak. You weren't escaping the pain of knowing that the guy of your dreams was kissing another girl right in front of you.

       Your home phone rang and you dried your tears. You answered it, ready to hang up if it was Nathan. "Hello?" You answer, trying not to make it sound like you've been crying.