You Were My Love

Scene 120 - Astray

Hello dearest readers!

I'm still an internet wanderer - because snowfalls wrecked the network,

I have to roam from friend to friend to be able to get some connection! T-T

I hope things will soon be back to normal...

Sending love

Take care

Laety_KC

               

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Now that his days were devoid of any passion and full of pain and frustrated love, Jimin would spend his days wandering around his flat.

No training. No dancing. No loving. Nothing.

Hopelessly idle, his mind all too free to dwell on his distressed soul, on his missing Honey, on his crucified heart ...

During the day, the city's bustle kept his needles distracted.

Whenever he managed to gather enough energy to go out shopping or for a stroll.

When absent-mindedly watching TV.

Or when leafing through books or magazines.

Sometimes friends would offer to meet for a coffee, deluding the pangs of his soul for instants.

But it couldn't fool his closest acquaintances – they could clearly see that the words, the smiles, the moves were all fake and pretense of cheers ...

They tried their best, but they could only distract.

They could not heal.

They could not make them disappear.

The wrongs. The pain. The loneliness.

They could not change events.

Could only have him rejoice for a short while.

For as long as they'd be around.

At night though ...

Night was something altogether different.

Sleepless.

Especially at the loneliest hours of darkness.

Or as the lights of dusk promised another day of hurt and intellectual void.

Night was full of temptations...

Pills ... Knives ... Pieces of coal... Razor blades ...

They all seemed too tempting when the sobs got out of control.

When the wounds of his heart radiated out to his whole body - so hard that his legs couldn't even carry him.

He would collapse on the spot, unable to stand for hours on end, overwhelmed by pain, fear and frustration.

When performing even the most simple moves of daily life demanded all the strength he had left...

When he missed his love so bad that every inch of himself burnt with cold, crave and want, and tormented him to the point of almost going insane ...

When just breathing seemed painful and useless ...

Only two kinds of events would dull the aching and lift his spirit.

Hae Wong was more and more rarely around now.

They would seldom cuddle, or enjoy any of the domestic activities Hae Wong had said he was so fervently looking forward to.