My diary of life

Just being someone else

I been through a lot this pass few days.Like My crush started to like my friend but my friend does not like him she told me her self.I been letting myself getting played by a guy who I thought he like me he hurt me like no one has ever had yet I still like him.I been trying so hard to move on to forget about him but I can't because every day I try not to think of him I finish thinking of him the whole day.I have not really had a person to talk to since I last spoke to my Best best friend for middle school I seen her ones in a while not like old times.The last I spoke to her we got into a argument about me not talking to her for a month when she told me that she was going to a different school form mine.She does not know the real reason why I did not talk to her throughout a whole month.I wish I could tell her but it always ends in us getting mad at each other I just wish we could go back to last year when me and her were so close and now we are distant for each other the last thing she told me in my year book was "Don't do anything stupid without me "That what she told me but I done so many things that I regret and some I don't regret.Sometimes I wish I could go back time and change everything back to how it was.I have last the last person who I thought who understood me.Now I lost everyone now it's just me myself and I.I just can't help it to cry to tell myself you are useless you don't deserve to live I keep telling myself this thing that I know are true.There's so many people who care about me or I think who care about me when I care so so little about myself.I hate to feel pain by people who I care a lot about I just wish someone could understand me.I been acting like I got this but I don't got this I keep missing up and I been making so many mistakes.People can't see that I am done with everyone who has hurt me I done with everyone who has been telling me that everything will be ok when I know it won't be ok I been feeling pain I just want to make it all away and never come back.