B. L. A. C. K.

Acceptance

             **** Tammi P.O.V.******

    I have been staying to myself lately.  It has been almost a damn month since the situation. Thanksgiving it was just me and my moms. She worked though. I guess a lot of niggas go to the strip club on holidays.
       It is now Tuesday and I am in the school library  catching up on homework. Me doing homework , it must be the end of the world.  I have been trying to accept it all.
      I been trying to keep my mind off of it the best I can. I have no best friend and no nigga.  Anthony has not even texted me at all , and Lala has not been in school. I am glad she has not been in school because it would have been on and popping. I will beat her ass every time I see that bitch. I will fuck up Anthony too. All those times those nasty motherfuckers smiled up in my face knowing they was being foul , is down right grimey.

       With the shit that happened it made me realize , I should focus on school. I went to my teachers and asked them if I can increase my grades. My first three years of high school I did not have terrible grades but they were not the best. I am smart so I know I can do anything I ut my mind to. Maybe I needed this wake up call.

        I cried the first week feeling bad for myself. I dead ass watched Titanic, the Notebook , 50 first dates , and the vow on repeat. Ice cream became my support system and I loved all of it.
 
    Feeling bad for myself mad me feel like a dumb ass. I should have known that something was up with Lala. I should have seen the signs , I should have never got caught up with Anthony. I should have just focused on myself.  I guess we all learn from our mistakes.

     The library was mostly empty besides me and a few nerds. I was writing an extra credit English essay on an event in the past that changed me. How ironic is that shit?

     So here I am writing about this fucking shit that happened. This changed me. Even your day ones switch up , and no matter how solid you are, motherfuckers will do you dirty. No matter what. I will not change and become heartless like these dumb asses be doing.

     It changed me because now I will be cautious. I have a beautiful soul and I will not become an asshole towards everyone because of other's mistakes.  I finish my essay and shove my laptop into my Victoria Secrets tote bag.  I head out the door and down the hall. As I am walking down the hall , Candice shouts my name. Candice is cool but we aint cool like that. She is a little too messy and just not the energy I need right now.

    ¨Whats up??¨ I ask.

    ¨Girl when are we gonna chill?? I am having a little kickback at my place tonight. You should come, girl. ¨ She said with a big smile on her face. I really did not feel like going but I should get out the house. I just been moping around. I have until next Monday to hand in these extra credit assignments. Maybe one night to spare to myself won't be so bad.

      ¨Yeah girl , I will go. Hit me on messenger to send me yo address sis.¨ She nods her head and I continue out the front entrance of the school. Mom let me use her car today so I did not have to take the bus. She noticed something was the matter with me and I am glad she did not ask me a million questions.

        I unlock the car door and sit in the car as the car heats up.  I scroll on social media and I see that Lala blocked me on everything. Such a punk ass bitch I swear.

     I send a message to Meeka asking her if she is alright and if the baby needs anything. Immediately she responds saying that her and Kaiden is fine. She also asked how I was doing. I ignored her last message though.

    I do not know how I'm doing honestly. I know I am trying to sweep all my feelings under the rug. I want to be over this shit already. That is why I am going to go out tonight. I will mingle , and make new friends.  The car is warmed up so I drive and head on home.