Chamber by Chamber // Snowbaz

Careful What You Wish For

COC #18: Crack!

Simon lost his legs in a motorcycle accident a year ago. Baz thinks he knows how to fix it- he just has to make a wish! But things don't go exactly as planned.

~ So here's the weirdest thing I've ever written. Enjoy? ~

"Just give him back his legs!" I slam the Jinn against the tree behind her, hard.

"And what, pray tell, might I get in exchange?" She snickers derisively, not seeming fazed by the impact. Bloody Jinn's. So needy.

I think for a moment. "Hmm... well, I won't suck you dry. How's that?" I open my mouth a bit to expose my fangs. (I'd rather not drink her. Jinn's tend to taste rather like fire and brimstone, both of which I've had enough of for a bloody lifetime.) Something of fear flashes in her eyes. (Being a manipulative git as well as a vampire has its benefits from time to time.)

She huffs and pushes me off her, which only works because I let her. "Fine," She brushes herself off and then crosses her arms. "I'll give your bloody boyfriend his legs back, so long as you don't complain when I do."

I sneer at her. (Which merlin feels good after so many years of not doing so.) "Why would I-" Before I can finish my sentence, she snaps her fingers and vanishes into thin air. Fucking Jinn's. Always disappearing right when you have questions. But nevertheless, I suppose I got what I came for. Simon is going to get his legs back.

He lost them in an accident about a year ago, leaving him winged and wheel-chair bound. The bloody wreck decided to try his hand at riding a motorcycle. I told him it was a bad idea- I told him a thousand times it was a bad idea. (Then again, that was during my phase of telling him that everything was a bad idea.) Nonetheless, he insisted he try it before he died, so it was 'now or never', as he put it. I refused to get on that bloody death trap. (I should've gone; I could have protected him.) So he went off on his own. And Crowley, three hours later, Bunce and I were being called to the hospital. He lost his legs. (When the doctor told him, he was quite drugged up, so he said, "Well where'd they go? Let's find them.") After that, he didn't really show how much it hurt him, but I know it must have come as a hard blow to him. Not only had he lost his magic (and his precious mage), but then he lost his legs, too. And so after a year, my anniversary gift to him is to wish his legs back. Cliche, I know. (Cliche only in our fucking world.)

Now, walking alone in the wood back to our apartment, I feel as though perhaps I made a mistake. (Even perfection can have a few flaws now and again.) The Jinn seemed awfully... suspicious. As though I might not like what will happen after the wish is granted. (Maybe I should have sucked her dry just for the bloody hell of it.) But it's late now, and I've done all I can do.

As I crawl into bed next to Simon, he rolls over and opens his eyes groggily. "Baz? What're you doing?" His voice is thick with sleep and I can feel his tail lethargically wrapping around my arm and tugging me closer. I scoot closer to him and bury my face in his bronze curls, smiling.

"Nothing, love. Go back to sleep." I go to kiss his cheek and notice that he's already started snoring again. I fall asleep listening to his peaceful breathing, hoping that tomorrow will be a better day than the past 365 have been.

...

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I wake up to not only the loss of Simon's presence in bed, but hearing him shriek from our en suite. I jolt up out of bed, senses all standing to alert. But nothing seems instantly wrong except... the smell. The smell of - Crowley - manure. Horse shit. I cringe and cover my nose, carefully tip toeing to the bathroom. Off to the side, I see Simon's wheelchair sitting unoccupied in the living room. So he got his legs back? (That doesn't explain the smell of horse shit coming from our restroom, I'm afraid.)

"Simon, what is going-" I open the door to see a centaur in the en suite. A centaur with wings and a dragon tail. A centaur with Simon's top half. (It would be slightly arousing perhaps if he wasn't standing just a foot away from the largest pile of horse manure I've yet seen in my lifetime.) Part of me wants to run away, and the other part wants to question him. Instead, I revert back to my old ways, only for a moment.

"Eat a little too much there, Snow?" His face is incredulous staring back at me, and if I didn't know better, this would be about the time he would go off. (If he still had his magic, that is.)

"Baz! Christ, do you know what's going on?! I woke up in bed and I had to... y'know- use the bathroom. So without thinking, I stood up and came here and then, well, and then that happened, and then I realized I was walking and then I looked down and-"

"Snow, please do calm down. I think I know what happened here," (It's quite amusing at the moment that even half-horse, he's a good inch shorter than me, at least.) He raises an eyebrow, prompting me to go on. "So, I know that this past year hasn't been the easiest for you. So I... I just did something to make your life - our life - a little easier."

"What did you do, Baz?" I glance off to look anywhere but his face.

"Well, I tracked down a Jinn- you know, the wish-granting ones?"

"And you wished for me to become a centaur?!"

"No! Well, not exactly. I wished for you to get your legs back. And then she said she would as long as I didn't complain. I didn't know what it meant, but I guess I was a little loose on the term legs, so we interpreted it differently..." We stand in silence for a moment, Simon gaping at me. If I had fed recently, I know I'd be red all over. Honestly, the whole sight is a little funny. The vampire magician and his non-magic winged centaur boyfriend. I can't help but let out a laugh despite myself. Simon glares at me.

"What's so funny?" He snaps. I just shake my head, and despite my best efforts to stop laughing, it keeps bubbling out of me. Soon enough, he's laughing too, his torso bending over his lower horse half. (Which just makes the whole situation funnier.)

After we finally calm down, Simon walks (trots may be more like it, I suppose) over to me and reaches for my hand. I let him take it. "I s'pose we'll just have to deal with it, yeah? Just like everything else?" I sigh and nod, pressing my forehead to his.

"Not to ruin the mood, love, but your... manure still stinks. And Bunce will be over for breakfast in only a moment."

He groans and leans back, running a hand through his hair and down his face. "Oh god, what will Penny say...?" Without a word, I go to the closet to get a shovel and a garbage bag.

I suppose the moral is, be careful what you wish for.