Chamber by Chamber // Snowbaz

Lost Chances

COC #5: Carry On Prequel

Right before Simon and Penny see Agatha and Baz in the woods. Baz almost tells Simon how he feels. Almost. But of course, Simon can't keep his mouth shut...

~ There are probably some inconsistencies with canon in Carry On, but hey, I tried. Enjoy! ~

*Baz's POV*

"Oh for fucks sake, Snow, just listen to-" Simon cuts me off before I have the chance to get any more words out. I don't know how things escalated so quickly- one minute I was calmly trying to sit him down to have a bloody talk (about my undying love for him) and then all of a sudden, he started yelling at me.

"No Baz, you listen to me! Why the fuck are you trying to be civil now? At the end of seventh year?!" I sigh and roll my eyes. Truth be told, I decided that one year with Simon Snow knowing about my queerness wouldn't be so unbearable. Crowley, perhaps I would be teased and mortified and maybe I'd want to die... but at least I wouldn't have to live with the bloody secret burning a hole through my heart every fucking day of the week.

"Well Snow, since you seem to be so inherently daft, let me spell it out for you," What was I expecting him to say to me if I brought up the topic? Truth is, I'm desperately attracted to you? Although that would be lovely, it's just bloody unrealistic.

Before I can finish my sentence, he stops me again. He throws his hands in the air in frustration, waves of magic rolling off him. "Spell out what for me, you numpty? That all the sudden you want to get chummy so you can get closer to me and plot my demise in peace? Well I won't have it!" I grunt (I literally grunt- it's not an attractive sound) and clench my fists, unsure of what else to do.

"No, goddamnit!"

"Then what?"

"If you could just shut up for one bloody minute-" We've gotten closer since the screaming match started, taking subconscious steps toward each other.

"Just spit it out!" He yells so that I can feel his spit on my face. (His breath smells enticingly like sour cherry scones; just as it always does.)

"You just want to break Agatha and I up before we get married!" He shouts in my face, so close that our noses our touching.

He screams this right as I yell, "You dolt, I fucking lo-" I pause, frozen in place.

*Simon's POV*

Everything freezes for just a moment. I just came from having a frustrating chat with Agatha, so I was already on edge as I walked into our room. And then Baz started acting nervous and shy, and I was so fucking bloody sure that he was plotting, but now- well, now I'm not so sure.

He takes a step back from my face, looking absolutely furious. "You think I want to what?" He spits, running a hand over his face. He looks tired and angry; his grey eyes are blazing even more so than usual.

Right as he asks that we overlap again as I say, "You what?" He was about to say something (that felt important) but I interrupted him to soon. I fucking lo- he said. What? He fucking loves the idea of killing me? He fucking loves plotting against me? I want to know what he said...

"Just answer me, Snow." He says through gritted teeth. I roll my eyes and look down to the floor abashedly.

"I, well, I um- I er, I... you want to break Agatha and I up before we get married?" I trip over my words, and with every stutter, he gets angrier and angrier.

*Baz's POV*

Married. Bloody fucking Merlin Crowley damn it all to hell married. Just as I was about to profess my love for the wreck...

He's going to marry Wellbelove. I've been foolish.

*Simon's POV*

He's been quiet for a very long time. (Too long.) So many emotions have flashed through his eyes in the past minute that it's hard to keep track of all of them. Before I can think about everything I saw there, his eyes settle on three things: hurt, fury, and an unfeeling wall. I just want to know what he was going to say. But true to form, I can never keep my bloody mouth shut.

"Baz...?" I ask cautiously as I take another step toward him, reaching a hand out hesitantly. He stays still, but just as my hand brushes his shoulder, he flinches away as though he's been burned. He wrinkles his nose at me and I ignore the way the disgust on his face makes my heart feel something of a piece of broken glass.

"Just... just forget it, Snow. Forget it all." He storms out of our room and I try running after him.

"Baz- Baz wait!" I stand still for a moment letting him take the lead. I shouldn't have interrupted him, and I need to know what he was going to say to me. What if he... what if he really wanted to make peace? And I just yelled at him? I need to go see him.

I run out of our room.

I get Penny to help me.

And I follow him all the way to the Wavering Wood.

Agatha?

I can't believe what I'm seeing.