Chamber by Chamber // Snowbaz

Talk? Talk.

COC #27: Time Travel

Simon travels back in time to when he and Baz were still fighting, and starts figuring out how to fix things in the present.

~ We love writing things that make us cry. I had a time writing this, and I super hope everyone likes it, because I hold this one fairly close to my heart. Enjoy! ~

Baz and I don't really touch. Not anymore, at least. (We used to a bloody lot when things were first ending. Then when things settled... I just couldn't anymore.) Which is probably how I ended up back in our seventh year of Watford alone. (If we had been just holding hands like he had bloody wanted, at least we'd be here together.)

Penny had been practicing a teleportation spell (Crowley, Penny I had said. You're only 21! It's an advanced spell. She just laughed.) in the living room in our flat when I called out. I had been cooking - my therapist says it's a good active hobby for me - when Baz came up behind me to grab a hold of my hand. I had yanked it back without really thinking. (Or maybe I was thinking too bloody much.) The sudden motion made my bowl of flour knock over, which made me cry out. Which then caused Penny to spin around in the middle of a spell (Time Waits for No One) with her ring, and it was then pointed at me. The last thing I saw before I was yeeted (a phrase Micah likes to use- I'd grown quite fond of it, in secret) back in time was the concern on Baz's face. Even though I had pulled away like his touch burned he was patient and worried. I know fuck-all about having a boyfriend and being a boyfriend, but I'm fairly sure not liking to be touched was not in the guidelines. He deserves so much better...

But anyway. The next thing I know, I'm standing in my own room at Watford- in the same room as younger Baz and myself. Simon but without all his issues. But, more importantly, the Simon that wasn't in love with Baz. (He doesn't know that I do. But- how could I not?) For the sake of confusion, I'll call him Simon 1. I quickly discovered that Baz and Simon 1 could not see or hear me. (At first I thought it was because they - we - were busy bickering.) But then I realized it was just a side effect of the spell. So now I'm sat at my old desk, watching Simon and 1 cast furtive glances at each other. It's torturous, knowing we could've been together while I was still... okay.

Baz looks at Simon 1 whenever he - I - am not looking. Baz looks soft in those moments, before I look back up. And sometimes Simon 1 will look up at Baz (I remember this memory. I thought I thought he was plotting- looking back, it looks like I'm just right admiring the curves of his face) Baz'll say "Stop staring, Snow." I used to think when he said that he meant it because he couldn't stand the sight of me looking at him. Now I know that he said it because he couldn't watch me watch him, thinking I hated him. (S'pose I did, once upon a time.)

Soon, a fight starts up. "What are you plotting this time, Baz?" Simon 1 accuses him. (I was so daft. He was just plotting about how to snog me, for Crowley's sake.) Baz rolls his eyes. (Instead of riling me up like it used to... well, I s'pose it riles me up in a different way when he does it, now. Not that I'd ever do anything about it.)

"Your demise, Chosen. Always your demise."

"Don't be a twat."

"Not a twat. Just a-" He clears his throat and hitches his voice up to mock mine. (My old one, that is.) "Vampire." It's odd to feel my old magic. I can feel it radiating off of Simon 1 in waves, itchy and hot and suffocating around me. I s'pose it's been so long since I've felt it in me, that feeling it around me is right difficult. (Is this what Baz felt every time I was about to go off?)

"You're insufferable, you bastard!"

"'Least I get the girls." Baz smirks while Simon 1 snarls. It's hurting my chest to see us fight. We haven't really talked - let alone fought - in a bit of time. And it's hurting my lungs to be back in a room with my old magic. I miss it. It felt like home for so long. That is, until Baz became my home. (It's feels less and less like he is, lately. Maybe it's my fault.)