Chamber by Chamber // Snowbaz

The Tells of a Reflection

COC #24: Reflection

Baz tries to sort out his feelings after encountering Simon and his reflection many times in one day. Takes place in fifth year when Baz realizes he's in love with Simon.

~ I'm exhausted, but I got this out before the due date! (Barely.) Woohoo! I'm pretty happy with this little one, actually. Enjoy! ~

Every time I see my reflection in the mirror, I think about all the times Simon has commented on it. Sometimes in passing, sometimes out of left field to get me to admit to my vampirism- and then there are the worst times when he does it. He'll stop right out of our en suite and gaze at my reflection in the mirror for a few moments. Then he'd either genuinely ask about it, or look as though he's about to say something and then walk away. And I can't bloody well decide which one is worse. But some days - and this is getting more and more often - he'll do all three. Like today.

We were in magicks class and about to leave as Simon caught my eye in the large mirror at one end of the room. He looked me in the eye and didn't hesitate as walked by me (never fucking looking away) and said, "I'll see you later Baz- like that mirror, apparently." The sentence hadn't made much sense at the time, but I knew it was a snide comment about seeing myself in the mirror. (He bloody knew it was a daft sentence, too. He had flustered and walked away shortly after I raised a confused brow at him.)

I didn't think about it much as the day went on because these little comments seemed so normal. As normal as seeing my own reflection, really. (It's funny, your reflection in a mirror. Like an opposite you, yet all the same. I always look the same. Cold grey eyes. Long black hair. I look dead and tired. Dead-bloody-tired. I look like like nothing hurts, even when everything does. But the mirror doesn't know that. My reflection doesn't know that. Reflections. Funny.) But anyway, later that day, he tried a new tactic; this one to get me to admit to vampirism.

I was looking in the mirror in our room and adjusting my tie when Simon - Snow, rather - looked up at me and growled. "I didn't know vampires could see themselves in mirrors," He had said. (Crowley, I don't know what he was expecting me to say. 'Well, we can, Snow. That's right- my kind can see ourselves in mirrors.') I rolled my eyes as usual. He asked this question so often my response is automatic. That time I opted not to say anything, but I knew if he had said another thing I would say some snide comment that would have him going off out our room. I went back to adjusting my tie instead, but when I looked back up, I saw Snow's eyes still trained on me. When he met my eyes, he hastily looked away.

I thought about it more during the day. How he looked nervous as he looked away. Why he was looking in the first place. I also thought about what I saw as I had looked up at my reflection. I looked the same as usual. Only, my eyes were... softer. Damn it all to bloody hell if I had been going soft for Simon Snow. (Granted, I wouldn't put it past me. But my enemy, for Christs' sake. I don't think so.) My reflection looked different than usual... like it knew something I didn't. (Which ties back to my funny reflections point from earlier. And finally, now in our room, Simon is looking up at me from the doorframe of our en suite. He's been looking for a few moments.

"Stop staring, Snow," But unlike usual (when he's right flustered and looks away hurriedly), he keeps staring. He holds my stare for a few gut-turning moments and tousles his bronze curls with his hand. It's beginning to get a bit uncomfortable, so I raise an eyebrow. "Can I help you?" He shakes his head, but still doesn't look away. And because I never bloody well back down from a fight (or contest, if that's what this is), I hold his eye contact for moment after bloody moment before he shakes his head and heads back into the room. (I'm sure to think about that for the rest of the day.)

When I look back at my reflection, something's different. I wear a small smile on my lips and my eyes... they look alive. Not dead. Tired, yes. But not... dead. But- the only difference from now and this afternoon is Snow. Maybe he makes me... feel alive? Only I don't like him like that. I can't. Father would never approve. Bloody hell, I wouldn't approve! I look over at Snow, his curls falling a bit over his blue eyes because he hasn't had a proper shave in a bit. He's chewing on the end of his pencil, looking as fucking perfect as ever, and-

Oh.

Oh fuck.

My heart falls. My reflection knew something I didn't before; but I know now. The words feel wrong in my head and on the tip of my tongue. I look back at my reflection, willing it to go back to the way it was. Dead and tired and bored and lonely. But reflections are funny like that- they'll show only what's on the surface. And apparently, Simon Snow makes my surface look and feel... alive.

I look at myself in the eye and say the words, not even above a whisper. "I'm in love with Simon Snow."

My reflection laughs at me.