15. The age at which most teens get their first real kiss. The age at which hormones start messing with you, making you go through all emotional states. One second you are happy and laughing and the next you just want to punch somebody in the face. But then you're crying. Why are you crying? This is where I was 5 years ago. I was and sadly still am 5'6'' which is sad cause I had hoped I'd grow a little bit more. Skinny, glasses, olive-skinned and a pitchy voice. Perfect combo for the jocks to be made fun of right? Well, this is what had been going on in my head 5 years ago in that summer.
You see on the outside I'm this always positive dude, with what my 3 friends describe to be a spirit lifter. I am very good at hiding my feelings but also I excel at projecting the fakest happiest attitude so then again not even my friends know me. Hence the secret right?
Who am I? Am I some serial killer. Or the creepy guy who hacks into your smart devices' cameras and record nudes of you?
Well, you can cross those off the list. I'll keep the suspense for a little longer.
First things first. I really am going to tell you the truth of who I am. So here goes everything. I am an emotional trainwreck. I bury my feelings instead of sharing them with somebody like a normal functioning human being. I bury them so hard that right now I am expecting a major break down because honestly, I don't know for how long I can keep on holding my breath... hiding who I am. I do represent the perfect material that a bully would love to pick on.
Oh, funny thing. I'm going to be a freshman! It is both terrifying and fulfilling at the same time. It means a new beginning because nobody knows me. I could get to show a different side of me, I could be the popular guy for a change now. But here's the thing. It is also terrifying because as my future colleagues don't know me I too don't know them. So I can't stop thinking that they're gonna hate every single part of me.
And they have every right to hate me. After all, what I am hiding from them if found out....
Ok!ok! I'm telling you. But just so you get the story. I am gay. There I said it. Hate me if you want to. But this is me. I'd love to let myself breath and develop confidence and show the world how much I can shine but could I? It would take everything, fighting every cell in my body to come out and that would be the easy fight. Believe me, hiding this... best choice I can make.
----------------------------------
Edit. I added a photo of Aiden but just imagine a dark brown hair with dark brown eyes and a little more tan. I couldn't really find a perfect nerdy picture but I think it fits
YOU ARE READING
Living Closeted
RomantikThe book follows the path of Aiden Diaz. A young adult who is writing down his memories from when he was just shy of 15 years old. He's a charming guy that hides a huge secret that is the cause of multiple anxieties and socialising issues. He battle...
