Living Closeted

Sophomore Year

Wow. I can't believe the sophomore year is already beginning. Tomorrow is the same drill as last year. Opening ceremony. National hymn and a speech read by a teacher coming directly from the Education PM. I already dread it. It's the most useless and boring, yet time-consuming activity, totally inappropriate to set the tone for the year to come. Or at least for us students. 

I yet again, take a look at what's happened in my life so far and I'm neither happy nor sad about it. Sure. It could have been better but it could've been worse. One thing I am most proud of is that after 3 years or so of me knowing about my sexuality I am finally embracing it. I'm not yet ready to let everyone know. When I think of it my stomach churns and aches. My heart races and I start worrying.  But I'm ready for what's coming. I know I will get there. I will get to the point where I don't care when I accept myself and I'll put myself out in the open. Is it going to be this year? Or maybe the next? Or what if when I'll be 20 and in college! I don't know. But the future is bright.

ooOOOoo 

I woke up that morning full of energy. Yes. I dreaded the ceremony. But I loved that I will see my friends again. I know some of them if not all have had the same retrospective feel these days. We, humans, tend to do this quite a lot. We'll see each other, we'll hug and kiss. We'll look at each other smiling and approving knowing that we're going to spend yet again an amazing and full of ups and downs year. 

I tie my shoelaces and take a look at myself in the mirror for the 10th time and off I go. I am walking this time and I'm meeting Emma on the way. I also need not forget about buying some flowers for our form teacher. 

ooOOOoo

-Hey Emma! How are you? All good?

-All good me? All good you?! Look at you slaying after everything you've been put through.

-Pff. You know me by now. Nothing can stay in the way of my optimistic and cheerful mood. Especially some silly fire explosion.

And so with that, we caught the next subway. It was a nice ride. We laughed our arses off at random stuff we were reminiscing from the past or just random. She's a gem this one. I already see ourselves 10 years from now. She's the bride and I am the best man. She's going to be my maid of honour at my wedding. Wait. Do I want marriage? Why am I thinking of marriage at just 16? I snapped out of it.

ooOOOoo

-Hey everyone! 
I couldn't say more cause a lot of them jumped hugged me. All screaming my name. 

-You're alive! said Maya. 
-You don't look too bad either. How are you and how have you been adjusting?
-Well. It ain't easy. But I am doing my physical to recuperate and I've her. 
She said looking at her mom.
-I'm so happy for you! 

- *coughing sounds* If I may have your attention, please! 

And the ceremony began. Now it was over. Finally. I said with a sigh. We got our schedules our textbooks and off we went back home. 

Later that evening I was to hang out with the girls in the park having some good time together. We realised how precious time is when I and Maya almost died. She was coming too.  

I love the friendships I've built. I hope we stay friends forever. But will they still be my friends after everything that I'm going to tell them one day? Will they still be by my side or will they just abandon me.

-----------

Hey guys. Back with another chapter. It's sloppy but it is what it is. It had to be something dull and you know more of a way to set the tone for what I'm going to write next. I've great stuff in the store. So stay tuned and read! Hoped you liked it my 3-4 readers and thank you for being here.