Living Closeted

Day 1 in Hell

Back to the present. Last days of Summer vacation have just passed and I find myself not sleeping at nights especially the night before the first day of high school. I'm supposed to meed my guiding teacher and my next colleagues for the following 4 years. Now I'm expecting them to be at least smart cause we're talking top high school year but what I've learned from past experiences is that there's always a room the size of a castle for surprizes.

I finally manage to fall asleep after an excruciating overthinking where I imagined all sorts of scenarios of how the next morning is going to be a disaster. This must've been the cause of why I dreamed some monster was chasing after me in the woods.

But here comes the morning and I wake up. I try to man up and find some courage within. I put on a pair of jeans and a shirt and off I went to descend into hell.

As I get out of the car I see the building. It was the best looking high school in town and it pretty much resembled a castle... Fuck that overthinking. I enter the courtyard where I saw my guiding teacher holding a sign with the class I was assigned to. She looked short, blonde and like she's been smoking her entire life. But it turned out she would've made the best teacher ever.

OH, I WASN'T THE FIRST TO ARRIVE. THERE WERE A COUPLE OF MY FUTURE MATES. WHAT AM I GONNA SAY? AM I GONNA FREAK OUT SAY SOME DUMB SHIT LIKE ALWAYS?
Well, it turns out that I wasn't the only nervous freshman there. There were 2 weird boys that up to this day I couldn't befriend and this girl which though she'll turn out to be a nerd who'll leave next year was just not very friendly.
So there I stood there not having whom to talk with... awkward silence and all that crap. Others joined soon the group formed behind our guiding teacher. All 28 of us. With some of them I'll be friends for life with others I'd tragically unfriend for eternity and with the rest, I would not even engage with.

DID WE HAVE FORMALITIES! At some random point, the headmistress of the institution and other teachers came out on the podium to began their opening speeches which will turn out to be exactly the same speech every year. We had to listen to the entire national hymn and all that crap.
After the opening ceremony, we, of course, went on to see the class where we'll be studying for the next 4 years... Man am I using for the next year a lot.
I sat 3rd row that day and for the rest of the term. Having one of the most antisocial girls as my deskmate.
But then again why do I call this day a living hell? Because we got some time after all of the exhausting blah blahs to get to know and talk to each other.
There it was. A tall blonde-ish hot guy. His name is Adrian Underwood. And he's the biggest jerk ever. He's already picking on my height... The worst part is that I'm going to fall in love with him and get to love to hate him. But I won't spoil more of this. There are 4 years of storytelling.
The day wasn't over it was just about to get worse. We, the boys, were sent to the library to get the textbooks.
Yeah, I live in that kind of countries with free textbooks freaks.
I like picked this pretty big pile of math books to carry back. They weren't that heavy nor many but due to my height, it sort made them look taller. As you would expect the perfect person was right next to me to make fun of me.
'Hey midget you should've stayed back if you're a girl"
It made me both furious but also blushing and sweaty.
Of course, I wasn't going to talk back cause I just love to shove them feelings down the pit of despair.
But that sentence was enough to shatter my confidence to make me question my whole being. Why was he having so much power over me? He knows me for like just 2 hours.

MAN, THERE'S MORE!!

I came back with the books. And as I was standing there in the doorway he pushed from the back and kicked me. I dropped a couple of books obviously but no one saw him behind me. I got shouted from a teacher on the first day. Achievement complete! But as I cleared the mess there they were. Already groups of students that looked so bonded that you'd think they know each other from secondary.
It turns out some did.
But it still made me think like I was 100% gonna have no friends which added to my anxiety that had already been building.
I got my textbooks and I left.
Got home.. I lied to my parents just as usual that is was super awesome. I didn't leave my bedroom that evening. 


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I added a treat for you. How Adrian looks like... well sort of... again no picture on the internet can perfectly fit what I have in mind. Hope you like it. Please tell me if they'd be a good match :)))