Living Closeted

Why is my brain wired like this?

So today started awesomely. I woke up hitting hard my head on a wall. And I can't even begin to understand how I did it cause I literally hit the wall to the right of my head as I was sleeping. So neither the one just behind my head nor the ceiling - for understandable reasons. Then as I got up in the darkness of the morning - I woke up super early cause of a dream I am going to tell you about - and as I stand I trip over my laptops charging cable. I fall with a loud noise bruising slightly my knee. I let out a few curses but I get up and go for a piss. I turn on the light and just as I hit the switch button the bulb blew. I am not exaggerating it literally blew! It shattered to a million pieces. I also discovered that I still have some PTSD left from you know and almost deadly explosion. No big deal. I go for the broom to sweep off the bulb shards. I completely lose my appetite to take a piss and go for breakfast. It was like 6 and a half in the morning. The sun should start to light up the sky at any time now. I open the fridge. Great! My amazing parents forgot to buy me yoghurts again. So no breakfast. I pour myself a glass of water and head back for my room. I trip over again but this time I pull my laptop with me on the floor. Luckily we were both unscratched this time. I let out more curses but this time I get the cable out of the way 'cause I can just see the third-floor contact. I still had like about four hours to go by before I had to live for school. I was really considering taking a nap. But I then I just remembered! Oh my god, what did I just dream?!

So it was like me and Adrian we're both leaving school in the evening. But there was something off. I hat this thing, this piece of knowledge that someone was waiting for him at the exit to beat the hell out of him. Next thing I know is I see him laying on the floor. All beaten up by I don't know what thug. I remember tears gushing out of my eyes for two or three seconds. But then a weird serenity and calm hit me. Like I knew exactly what I had to do. I fell to my knees next to his head and put my hand on his carotid. He barely had any pulse. I then bent over to see if he was breathing cause he might have some internal bleeding or fluid in his lungs from all the beatings - or I just knew for some weird reasons where he was hit even though I don't remember witnessing the beating. He was breathing but very faintly. So then I put my ear on his chest to listen to the lungs. I couldn't hear the left lung. Then I panicked again. I screamed left and right to call for an ambulance. I tried to remember what was the emergency procedure for this kind of stuff. I remembered it was pneumothorax or something like that and that you can improvise a pointy tube from a pen but I couldn't remember where to stick it. I called out for a pen. I removed the reserve and for about four seconds I hesitated. I then looked at his face and caressed his cheek. His lips were turning a light shade of blue. He's not oxygenating. If I don't do something he is going to die. The next second the pen is in and fluid comes gushing out of it. His breath was also back. This was nothing but a temporary fix though. 

Unfortunately, the dream ends there. I woke up. Hit my head. The rest you know it already. Wow! Just reminiscing that! It gave me chills and my heart is racing. It just feels so real. Now obviously I am wondering why am I dreaming of him and why in this way. He's not in any danger and sure he is something to me, but... is he? Who is he to me? Why is my brain wired like this. I am used to dreaming weird stuff that is very connected to the reality or all the way to the other extreme but this feels different. I've got figure this out. Do I have feelings for him? Am I worried about him? Why do I have reasons to be worried about him? Why is he on my mind? I've got to figure this out

Calmed and at ease with everything that had happened that morning I went back to sleep for a quick nap before school. I hope I wake up better.

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Hey guys! I know it's been a while. There you go a new chapter. I hope you like it and that you're still around to read it hopefully.