Living Closeted

Field trip I

When our guiding teacher told us she was thinking we organise a two days field trip a part of me was already anticipating the awful time I was gonna have if I went. The other half of me was already thinking of what I might miss if I don't go. I loved trips. I loved hiking and I wish I did it more often. I wasn't necessarily a fan of the mountains or snowy weather. My optimistic side won. It wasn't a surprise. I always do this. I overthink so hard just to let my optimistic side win. 
'Now if Mr.Diaz would care to stop starring through me like I wasn't even here'
The class burst into laughter
'I could proceed on telling you that you should print out and have your parents sign the forms I'll be uploading on the Facebook group page and bring them by next week. Also, we need to decide if we can... or at least approximately how we're going to sleep.'

She was clearly talking about boys and girls not being allowed to sleep in the same room. But that wasn't all. She also clearly stated that we weren't going to be the ones choosing our roommates. So she pulled out the same hat she used for the Secret Santa name extraction. Girls extracted first to their roommate. Then this time I went first and with the same fear I put my hand inside and picked a folded white note. I had to read it out loud. So when I looked on to the white piece of paper my jaw must've dropped to the floor. Well, I did it myself this time. 

' Adrian Underwood...' I said with the most disappointed tone ever. The few steps I had to make to get back in my seat felt like the walk of shame. Emma had texted me: ' Want me to kick his ass so he remembers not to screw with you ?' I replied with a negative answer. But I did tell her that I didn't know if I had to bring a condom or a taser. I could hear her laugh which prompted a question from misses Black. 
' Miss Dart, could you tell us kindly what are you laughing about so that we can all have a good laugh too? '

I could see above Emma this lit light bulb like she had the perfect answer already in store.
'It's really silly but I was laughing at this picture with Adrian his mother posted on Facebook when he was 5.'
She then sends the picture on the Facebook group. I could definitely see the resemblance between the miniature Adrian and the now jock. He was butt naked getting chased by a chicken. 

I could feel his red hot with anger face starring at me then at Emma then at me again. He must've noticed we were just texting but he must also be wondering how did Emma so quickly found that. 
'Thx Emm!' I texted back. I also decided to text Adrian.
'You look really cute. Can't wait to hold your hand at night so that the no monster under the bad can hurt you' 
'You want another hickey?'
'Only if you finish the job.' And I also added a kissing emoji. That was cocky and smart I thought. But I knew I was going to regret it. I could already predict that this is where our weird relationship was head. Me and him always sexually assaulting each other. 

ooOOOoo ( time skip to field trip day1 )

I forgot to tell you that misses Black decided that we're best off going by train. So there we were all on the train. I already spoke to Emma, Aya and Anja to sit together so that we occupy the entire booth. Unfortunately, Aya hooked up with Ethan and she had to bail on us and sit with him. They were so cute together. But now I could only dread who was going to take the seat next to me. It had to be a boy cause misses Black wasn't taking any chances on us sitting too close to each other. She had to compromise a little cause we weren't exactly an equal number of boys and girls. We were more boys so, therefore, a boy had to take the seat next to me. There were only two seats not taken and just two people standing. Adrian and this also blond but short and a good looking dude with very conservative views. His name is Nathaniel Hill. We called him Nate. Besides having great looks I didn't really like him. Nor did we talk that much. 
'I don't think he's going to bite if he sits next to you. You don't want Nate who believes women should sit in the kitchen and care for the kids right?'
'Right... Oy! Underwood. Uhm... This seat is not taken' Boy was I going to regret this. But I do am a kind-hearted guy. I do not want to keep fighting him. I just wish he wasn't such a cute prick all the time... I mean douchebag. He's straight Diaz...
He took his seat and placed his bag above the bag holster. 
'Can I just ask why after all the... you know... me not keeping that promise you gave me the seat?'
'That's because regardless of you I love all people. I do not pick on those smaller than me. No, I mean people with a small IQ than mine.' I smiled for some reason when I said that. I felt like it was a good one. 
'Really? You just did that.'
'What?' I said with the most innocent and hilarious face ever. I was feeling in a great mood. I was seating by the window, him by the spacing between booths.
The ticket said it was a 5 and half hour ride so I wanted to get cosy. I put on my headphones and turned on my favourite playlist on shuffle. Songs from Gaga, Ariana Grande, Maroon 5, Bruno Mars and all the other mainstream hip-hop artists. I know basic white bitch but I just love them. I rested my head on the window and decided I'd go for a nap. After all, it was 3 in the morning. We talked misses Black into going at this hour so that we could enjoy the first day entirely.
I manage to fell asleep but was awaken abruptly at some point by a loud screeching noise. Now for whatever reason, I was sitting so comfortable that I didn't really open my eyes immediately to inspect what had happened. I was cosier than ever and something warm was giving me that relaxing feeling you get after a very relaxing sleep in your favourite bed sheets. WAIT WHO'S KEEPING ME WARM??? WHAT AM I SLEEPING ON THAT IS SO SOFT AND COMFY? I cracked open my eyes just to see Adrian. Wait I was sleeping on his lap... But how I literally could never have put myself into this position given the cramped space. Wait I was also no longer on my seat and Emma was not on her seat. My legs were going underneath the table and onto her seat and underneath them were our bags put like a mattress and i was with my body on what was his seat and with I had on his lap... Well on his hoodie that was on his lap. I have to admit I was selfish and pretended I was asleep so I could enjoy it a little bit while I was conscious. Some part of me longed for this kind of connection with him for soo long. I turned my head facing upwards and slightly into his abs. His perfume was filling my lungs and his body heat made me feel so safe. I was living in a way that dream I had once. Then I heard my teacher talking to us and I pretended to wake from a very deep sleep. It worked. No one noticed I had been awake for 5 minutes already. 
'Good morning little sunshine ray! Was I comfortable?'
'God how did this happen. I think I'm going to vomit' I was lying duh. I wanted it to last forever, to be honest. Who's looking forward to that shared bed now.
'Hmm... I would've bet my money that you actually enjoyed it.'
'But no seriously. How? I couldn't've just moved you on my spot, take down the bags and make a mattress with 'em while asleep. I'm starting to believe you did this all to make me comfortable by yourself out of your guilt.' Well, it might've been the truth but I could only guess cause I'm not expecting an honest answer.
'In my defence, you look kinda cute when you sleep. And you fell asleep in such a bad position you would've woken up with a sore and stiff neck. Probably a back pain as well.' He said that while blushing when he said I looked cute. 
At that moment I was like what the hell now he deserves a reward for the best bully. I mean what bully takes care of its prey before it kills it?
'Don't you deserve to be rewarded?' A great idea popped up in my head. It's time I returned that hickey he gave me. It just isn't my style though. I am more delicate than that. With that in mind, I leaned into him going slowly but straight for his ear lobe wich I briefly caressed.
'No homo!'
I pointed at my socks. For some reason, he himself had been promoting this new trend that if you do something deemed as gay it's not actually if you wear socks or say the phrase 'No homo'. I took that in my advantage to hide my secret; he bought it.
'Dude what was this for?!' He said a little bit took aback and angry.
'Your reward, dummy.' I said innocently. 
'If you two lovebirds are done making out or whatever it is you're doing you should know we have been delayed by a fallen tree on tracks.' Said somewhat annoyed Anja. 
'Great now I have to put up to him longer'
'You invited me in remember? he said with a smug on his face. ' And since you're blocking the way I think I'm going to sit here comfortably until we reach our destination.'

At that very moment, one of the railway's employer came to make an announcement.
'Dear passengers, due to some technical difficulties, it being a tree that fell on the electrification we can no longer heat the train. We will begin giving you blankets but having in mind the storm that is gathering it is going to get really cold. I recommend you hug tight to keep yourself warm'
And he left for the next carriage to pass on the same message. Other staff members gave us the blankets. Great one per 2 seats.
'Listen to douchebag, you've got the bigger body and all. Let's switch seats back and I'm keeping the blanket for myself.'
'Let me think... No. But you do have a point. You can't spoon me cause you're smaller.'
'I swear Underwood sometimes you make it hard not to want to kick you in the face'
'Shut it. You want me on top of you.'
That feeling of power over me that I can't control again. I was really blushing. I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter from the avalanche of emotions he's causing inside me.

Hours passed and we were now past 3 pm and we still haven't gotten any news from the railway company. The truth was we were in an almost impossible place for them. About zero space for a truck to get to us, and even if they removed the tree, there was still the issue of the locomotive who ran on electricity. It really started to get cold inside. The train was now in its fourth hour without heat.
I leaned on to him and he put his head on mine. Was I falling for him? But why was he behaving so kindly? Did I finally found his soft spot in that frozen heart of his?

'You know Underwood? If we were gay this would be the moment that would get us hooked up'
Ok. I officially need to check with a neuro something doctor. I must have some cancer in my brain or something.
'You say the most random shit sometimes Diaz. But yes... This moment would hook up any possible couple.'
And I came up with a brilliant idea. I turned with my back on the window and put my feet around his waist so that he could lean back and rest on me. He asked no questions. 
We fell asleep again. 

The nap was brief as the trains started moving I would say 1 hour after we cuddled together. I love how no one questioned what we did. But I think they we're all much worried that they might freeze to death than what I and Adrian were doing.

Shortly afterwards we arrived at our destination. It was 6 pm. We lost the entire day. We were exhausted and all we wanted was to crash in some very soft and warm sheets and sleep for eternity. 
We got to the hotel. It wasn't extraordinarily looking. It was a really nice wood cottage with enough room for all of us. It fit the scenery but I can't say it was very luxurious. 
I had a heart attack when I entered my room... our room. Adrian was behind me and he burst into laughter. We both did.
'Diaz I swear this isn't me it's fate!' he said through the tears of laughter.
I could only laugh too. It appears the room was one of those couples room. It was decorated with roses and a fancy bed with a folded blanket to make a heart. Great. If I don't have sex with him in this room I'm a wuss.
'Wanna go grab a bite somewhere in this wretched end of the world?'
'You asking me out Diaz?'
'Well I mean we did spoon on the train and I did sleep on your lap, it's only fair to those shipping us by now to go have dinner.'

We were joined by the girls Caleb and Ethan as well. We found a cute restaurant where we satisfied our hunger then we went back to the cottage. When we got back it was already 8. And we were all dead walkers. We decided to end the day here and go to sleep.
As we dragged our feet into our very romantic room I now realised I wanted to take a shower with him in the room. Waw I felt insecure now. But he wouldn't dare come in while I'm showering. He went for his bag to unpack and I went to take a shower. The hot water was so soothing after this dreadful day. When I came out of the shower cabin I realised I forgot the towel on the bed. Great I thought. Now I have to call out for help, or go out in Adam's costume and surprise him or stay here for hours until my body dries.
'Adrian? You still up?'
'Ya!'
'Could you bring me my towel?'
'Why would I do that? Come out and take it yourself.'
'I know how much you think you wish to see me naked but I think sleeping together is pretty close.'
He brought it after a couple more weird talking about how I had to give him a blow for this. But he was just messing up with me. He also took a shower but decided to come out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. I bit my lip... I immediately wished I hadn't done that and that he didn't notice. He was getting hotter and hotter from that gym.
'Like what you see?'
I blushed on an instant and hid my face. I pretended I was looking for something very frantically in my bag.
'You wish!'
Now let me tell you this. It must be that he's overly confident or something but he had no issues whatsoever being naked in front of me while he put on a pair of briefs. Luckily I only saw his ass. I was drooling a little. What can I say he looks so well. 
'I hope you'll wear more than underwear'
'Why?'
'Cause it's minus 15 degrees outside and because I'm in the bed too'
'I still don't see the issue
'You really wanna fuck with me on this one?'
He came real close. I was sitting on the bed so my head barely came over his waist. I felt intimidated in a good way. He packed good.
'Ok. You are in your underwear inches away from me. Say or do whatever you feel could make me let you sleep like this with me.'
Bad choice of words. He did half a step towards me. I didn't flinch. I needed to stand my ground on this one. I could now smell his fresh smell from the shower, I could feel his body heat (again) and his bulge was getting too close. I barely held myself from doing something that I'd regret. I wanted him so bad. It felt like torture.
'So? This is it?'
He then put a hand behind my head and came even close. I was now with my face buried in his lower abs just above his underwear line.
'When I told you to blow me for the towel I wasn't lying'
I wanted to retreat at that moment but his grip was too strong. He pushed me on my back. He was on top. He was grinding on my crotch with his. I was so turned on. I put a hand on his chest and with the other one around him, I pulled him into a kiss. My first kiss. His lips fit so well on mine. They were soft like cotton and tasted so well. Just I tried to go for tongue he jumped off of me. I jumped too.
'Oh my God... I'm so sorry...' I flustered. But I didn't get it. He looked pretty turned on too. I could see his erection obviously.
'Let's not speak of this ever again. This did not happen. This...' he pointed to his penis.' isn't happening'
'Dude you initiated... I mean... It was weird from me that I answered but you initiated...'
'Let's just go to sleep' 
He didn't put on pants and I knew I'd end up waking with him spooning me because he was going to freeze even under the blankets if he didn't so. For some reason, I felt how scared he was of what just happened. He must believe he's a monster now, an abomination. It just goes against any of his beliefs. We turned off the lights.
'Aiden? I'm sorry for what happened.' he whispered.
I turned to face him in the bed even though I could barely see him. Instead, I knew our faces weren't very far from each other nor were our bodies. I cupped his cheek with my hand and told him.
'You are a beautiful person no matter your sexuality Adrian. I know right now you hate every single cell of your body. You are looking for why you acted like that.'
He took my hand off his cheek. He's rejecting me. I feel like crying. He makes me feel like some ugly slut he was about to fuck but stopped because I'm not worthy or something.
'Why aren't you going crazy about what just happened?'
'Just because I'm not wearing a sign pointing 'gay' at me doesn't mean I'm straight. You never asked.'
'How do you live with it...'
He made it sound like I'm living whit cancer or something.
'Dude it's not a disease. It's who you are. You are born like this you live like this and people shouldn't get the right to judge you for this. I know since I was 13 so I had time. You never explored this side of yours. Now you are, you'll find who you are at some point. Please don't hate me though.' I added with the hopes he won't.
'How can I hate you silly?' And he came close to me and cupped my cheek.
'You truly are a beautiful person... and a good friend.' But I want to be more than friends. You can't give me the taste of you and then not feed me.
I tried my luck and moved closer to him. I could now feel his breath on my face. I found his forehead and kissed it. I then gave him a hug or cuddle. It was in bed so I didn't really know what it was. He was shivering from emotions. I tried to give my best hug until he calmed down a bit. I then 'looked' again at him. And he kissed me. This time he wanted it. He was also crying but so was I. It was wet from the tears but hot and sweet from what he was doing to me. We came real close. He pulled me on top of him. His tongue asked for permission to enter and I parted my lips. I fought for power a little but gave up. His tongue met my mouth and went on exploring it until our tongues met again. His hands were on my back holding me tight to his chest as if he'd want us to merge into one. He took of my t-shirt. He was already without clothes...almost. He smoothly put me under him and started kissing my neck. Wherever he kissed I felt intense pleasure and arousal. He then moved on to my chest with his tongue until he wound my nipples which he made sure he gave enough attention. I thought it only works on women but it turns out male nipple are just as erogenous as women's nipples. I knew what was coming next so I pulled his head back to kiss. This time more passionately as he now was grinding on my crotch. He took of with one hand my pants and underwear and I took his to be fair. We were now completely naked making out in the romantic bedroom that enough people must've joked that whoever gets it will make out. Hell, they might've even betted.
'Wait do you...' I tried to say while catching breaths. 'condoms?' He stopped for a sec and continued. 
'D'you think' he said as he once again united his lips with mine ' I came unprepared? ' He reached for a condom that I heard he slipped onto his penis. Ok, it's going to hurt like hell. I'm a virgin remember? Well, at least I'd fit the chart that most 15-year-olds do it. He lifted my legs on his shoulder as I told him I'm not doing it doggy style. He abided. I felt his tip touching my hole. I told him to go slow. He was sooo slow. It did hurt but I immediately as he was full in started to like it. He started to usual forth and back motion we're all so familiar with from porn both straight and gay. At first slowly which still caused me so much pleasure. And I think he was liking it as well. But when he started going faster I started biting my bottom lip so that I don't let out a moan of pleasure. I told him to stop and pull the bed from the wall. He did that in like seconds and was back at it. Great, we won't bother anyone if none of us lets out a moan. He started to go even faster. While he was doing that I was masturbating my own dick. When I decided he should be doing that and I took one of his hands from my chest and oriented him on what he was supposed to do. While I pulled him for another kiss. It now was time for him to finish in that sideways and from behind position. I swear this is the one. He was in me and I was in him. He was thrusting so hard and fast he told me he was about to cum. 
'Go for it' i could barely utter without letting a yell of pleasure
He thrust as hard and fast as he could until I heard him moan a little while he tried not to. He then pulled out and sucked me off. He deep throated me and I swear if before was amazing this was heaven. I had multiple orgasms before 
'I'm cuming'
He didn't pull out he wanted to swallow. I didn't stop him. It was so intense and pleasuring I wanted him not to back out now. And I cum in his mouth. Big load. It was dripping from his mouth as he swallowed as much as he could. I cleaned him and kissed one more time. I took him by the hand and went for the bathroom to take a shower together where we made out one more time. I sucked him off and he came the second time. But I couldn't swallow his. He cummed on my chest and he happily cleaned me. We washed each other. Then ended up in bed again naked not before I made sure our room was locke. We don't want misses Black busting us out or anyone for the matter. He spooned me and had the best sleep ever. 

We woke up undisturbed at about 12 AM with a knock on the door. I woke up still half asleep in the embrace of my bully. I turned in his arms to face him. I kissed his lips and forehead. He woke up and kissed me back. I love his taste he left in my mouth. The knocking again this time a little bit more pressing. I got up and put my pants on with no underwear though and my shirt. And answered while Adrian was hiding his naked body under the sheets. 
I opened the door and it was Emma. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding. 
'Hey, what's up?' I asked trying to look as casual as ever. Now the door opened towards Adrian so he was hidden behind it. I hear him getting up probably in search of his clothes. 
'We're going for breakfast. Also, I and Anja paid for both of yours one more night stay. We're staying one more night because yesterday was ruined. Also, you have morning wood. Next time hide that you had sex better.' 
I didn't even realise but my douchebag was sitting behind me the whole time Emma said that. And he was way too close. I could feel his morning wood on my butt. 
'Well... She won't tell a soul, but I did hope she won't be able to tell.'
'What gave us off? Well besides our erections? You have my t-shirt on you. It barely fits ya. But I love that we got half-dressed in the other one's clothes. It highlights your chest and abs.'
I said as I kissed him again. We went for a shower. Of course, sex was involved. I cummed for the second time in less than 12 hours. He swallowed again... I guess he's a slut. In a good way.

We joined what I think is now pretty much our gang. Me, Adrian. Emma, Caleb, Anja, Aya and Ethan. But I and Adrian weren't ready for letting anyone know. We might decide to not get together which is what I'm dreading right now. But I still have this day and tomorrow to enjoy his company. 
We ate at the same restaurant and we sat together with Emma on my right so that no once noticed when my left hand landed on his leg and went closer and closer for his growing bulge which I squeezed. He almost choked on his food when I did that. I am going to be punished tonight I thought.
We then proceeded to walk around this beautiful covered in snow town. We went sightseeing and I was left speechless at what nature can create. While we were hiking on a trail we separated from the group as I saw this very romantic, hidden behind thick trees, view platform. We had 5 minutes until they noticed we were missing and misses Black starts yelling like crazy for us.
I took his hands in mine and got on my tippy toes to kiss him. We took a selfie and ran to rejoin the group. Just in time. The trail led us on top of the first slope where we enjoyed a cuppa hot chocolate. We climbed down with the cable vehicles that provided with another breathtaking scenery of the mountains. I brushed my hand on him while everyone was capturing the moment with their phones.

We ate dinner and got back at the cottage. I was going to get punished now for breakfast and all-day teasing. But I just couldn't help it. 
Emma was approaching me.
'Go get him kitty cat'

I blushed.

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Ok guys. Another update. Here is how Nathaniel looks like. And I mean that quite seriously. It haunts me how close to reality this picture is.