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Kaleb: The elf on the shelf is not a cute holiday tradition, but rather a physical embodiment of the Orwellian dystopia that we live in today. It is a ploy to make kids blindly accept a surveillance system in their homes and-
Zane: Please, shut up and help me make cookies.
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May: Why do you always look so mad?
Queen: I can't help it. I have a resting Grinch Face.
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Kaleb: I hope I get run over.
May: Awww! Come on, it's Christmas! Get in the spirit!
Kaleb: [sighs] Fine, I wanna get ran over by a reindeer.
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May: Queen, I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Queen: It's NOT a joke!
Queen: I'm a LEGIT SNACK!
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Princess: Its Christmas! Are you all in the Christmas mood?
May: Merry Crisis.
Queen: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Single all the way.
Kaleb: Hoe Hoe Hoe.
Princess: Guys please...
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Kaleb, singing: On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree.
Zane: True love? Who is this true love? I thought I was your true love? I don't remember giving you a partridge in a pear tree?
Kaleb, pulling out his phone and deleting messages from The Devil:....
It's just a song......Just a song!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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