LOVED YOU FIRST // N.H.

Chapter 31

//  DISCLAIMER // I've put Falling in the library because it fits this chapter so good, while Put a little love on me will be in the last chapter aka next chapter.

Brooke's POV

A month has passed since the wedding happened. It was crazy to think my best friends are married now. Noah went back to L.A. soon after they came back from their honeymoon in Italy since he was beginning to start shooting a new show. And me? I was back in New York, talking to Jenna every day. One thing that changed since the wedding is that Alex and I started talking almost every day. It was nice to be able to talk to Alex just like we used to. I haven't heard from Niall since the wedding and it was better that way for both of us. Work occupied me so much that I barely had any time for myself. I was all in the work, probably trying to distract myself from thinking about Niall. But I chose to ignore that thought and focus only on work. 

A month has passed quickly, and it was now November. Woken up from my afternoon nap by my weird dream about Niall. The weird part was that whenever he spoke, Louis' voice would come out of his mouth.

The rest of the day was going by as usual. I ate my breakfast, drank my coffee and got ready for the work. Just like every day has while I've been in New York.

Niall's POV

I've never felt the way I'm feeling right now. She really is moving on from me, while I'm here, still stuck on these feelings I have for her. Brooke gave upon us, and it was my fault thinking I know what's best for her. Believe me, I've tried contacting her again, but she never answers and it's completely understandable as she has let me know that once the wedding's over she wants nothing with me ever again. So here I am, in the bar, killing my emotions and feelings with alcohol. Everyone's been telling me not to drown my sorrows in drinks, as if they know just how shitty I feel about myself.

Things I've heard about the way she reacted the day she was willing to give me last chance and I haven't shown up, keeps playing inside my head, making me feel even more guilty because it was never up to me to decide what's best for her. Which led me to the probably dumbest decision ever, serenading her under her window with the song I've recently written, while, again, being drunk and thinking of her. Remembering that I have my guitar in the car, I took it out of the car and called myself a taxi to drive me over to her building, being well aware that I am in no state to drive. I'll come and pick up the car in the morning. About ten minutes have passed when we arrived in front of Brooke's building. I paid the driver and got out of the vehicle, arranging my guitar and slowly starting to play the melodies of the song I've written thinking of her. Slowly, I started singing.

We fight, we get high holdin' on to love

We came down 'cause there was nothing holdin' us

Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are?

Is it wrong that I still don't know my heart?

Brooke's POV

It was around 2 am when someone outside the building woke me up with their singing. I got up and walked over to the window, wondering which fool is singing at 2 am. To say I was in total shock when I saw that the fool singing outside the building was Niall, serenading me with a song I've never heard of till now is an understatement.

Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go?

Are your tears falling down when the lights are low?

Another Friday night tryna put on a show

Do you hate the weekend 'cause nobody's callin'?

I've still got so much love hidden beneath this skin

So darlin' .....

I didn't know what to think, so many times I've joked that someday I'll get someone to serenade me under the window and now that I finally got someone serenading me, I wish he wasn't because even though he sounded beautiful I knew he was drunk. Opening up the window, he looked up and tiny smile showed up on his face.

'' Niall what are you doing here? It's past 2 am. '' He ignored me, not wanting to answer my question. Taking a deep breath, I closed the window, quickly grabbed my nearest jacket and shoes and went down to drag his drunk ass into my apartment to make him sober up. A minute later I was standing next to him taking him by his arm, bringing him inside of the building and walking up the stairs all the way to my apartment. As soon as we were inside my apartment, I've realised how badly he smelt like whiskey. What was he doing to himself? '' Love why are you doing this to yourself? Do you realise how badly you smell after whiskey you probably had right before showing up here? '' He shrugged his shoulders just staring at me longingly. I took his guitar from his hands and I placed it next to the couch where I tell him to lay down. To see him this drunk and sad, broke my heart. He was never that kind of person to solve his problems with alcohol so this situation was something that I never experienced with him. Crunching down in front of him, slowly stroking his cheek, made me realise that it was making him fall asleep. After about five minutes he was completely passed out. Slowly I got up, leaving the trash can next to the couch so that if he wakes up feeling sick, he has somewhere to throw up. Going back to my room, I laid down in my bed, my mind completely shut down, making me instantly fall back asleep. Fast forward to a couple of hours later, I'm woken up by sounds of throwing up. Getting up, I grabbed ibuprofen and a glass of water, bringing it to Niall. 

'' Hey, how are you feeling? Besides sick of course. '' I felt a little awkward around him because of how things turned around between us. Who would've thought that the guy I've considered my best friend for so many years would be the person that breaks my heart, huh? If someone told me that I would've laughed in his face. 

'' My head hurts so badly, I feel like someone just smashed a hammer on my head. '' Approaching him, I gave him the pill and a glass of water. Silently thanking me, he drank it. 

'' If you want you can take a shower. I'm pretty sure that I still have some of your clothes left. '' He looked at me surprised. '' You kept my clothes? '' it made me chuckle '' It's not like I was gonna burn them or throw them away when they didn't do anything wrong. I'll take them out and I'll prepare you a clean towel and a spare toothbrush. ''

An hour has passed and Niall was feeling much better now. It was now time for us to discuss what happened last night. '' We really need to talk Niall. About last night. What happened? You were never the type of person to drink to forget. '' He sighed. '' I'm sorry Brooke. It's just how I've been this past few days. Constantly in the bar, drinking to forget about you. I fucked up badly, and I'm well aware of it. The fact that after everything that I've done to you, you still went and took care of me last night, when you could've easily just ignored me. And I know that it wasn't easy for you to see me last night outside your window, singing to you a song that I've written while I was thinking of you. '' We were sitting next to each other on the couch, and tears were in my eyes. '' Why didn't you give us a chance, Niall? '' I whispered '' We've could've been the happiest we've ever been and yet here we both are miserable, thinking about what could've been. '' Biting his lip, he looked into my eyes. '' ' Cause I know I would've hurt you even more someway, somehow, even worse than I've hurt you by not giving us a chance. I love you Brooke, more than I've ever loved someone but what if we're not meant to be? What if we'd be bad for each other? '' Those questions hit me like a truck. I've never really asked myself if we'd even be good for each other in a relationship as we're by just being friends. What if we'd just fight all the time while being in a relationship and just ruin this amazing friendship we've had for so many years now and still counting. I was so blinded by the feelings I have for him that I never really asked myself those questions. 

'' I'll always love you Niall Horan. '' I said. He smiled at me and looked at me in the eyes. 

'' I'll always love you too Brooke Roberts. ''