highest bidder || yoonjin ✔️

//31 - "Not now"//

     "I love you too Kookie, but I don't think I'm into this relationship as much as you are. You're an amazing, caring and nice guy, I adore you for that. A-and you have no idea how upset I am at myself for not appreciating what you do for me. I'm sorry Jungkook, but I think it's best if we just end this."

Jin finally looks up from his lap and when he sees Jungkook's reaction, he gulps harshly. It's honestly scaring him, how blank faced he is, a single tear running down his cheek with more threatening to follow. Jin's bottom lip trembles and he opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. The silence is deafening, making it super uncomfortable.

Finally, "I just want to know one thing." He sniffles. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, i-in fact, you treated me better than anyone. But—"

"Then why do this, huh? If I was so good to you, why hurt me like this?"

Crying softly, Jin reaches for Jungkook's hand, the one that was holding his only minutes before, but Jungkook pulls away and stands up.

"Kookie—"

"Don't call me that. I need time, away from everyone, away from you."

Jungkook walks out of the room after that and Jin watches him leave, not caring about the snot that was slowly spilling out of his nose and the nonstop waterfall of tears. He whispers, "Jungkook, I'm sorry."

     Jungkook storms down the stairs and when Yoongi tries talking to him, he's quickly brushed off and ignored, the loud slam of the front door startling both him and Jin. Yoongi scrunches his eyebrows in concern and he hurriedly jogs upstairs, knocking on Jin's door before going inside. He finds him hunched over, his hands covering his face as he loses control and sobs loudly. He sits next to him and brings him into his arms, cooing and rubbing his back in attempts to calm his tears. Jin clutches onto the elder's t-shirt, balling it into his fists.

     As Yoongi continues talking to him and kissing the top of his head, he slowly stops crying and shudders. Yoongi runs his hand through Jin's fluffy hair and holds him tighter.

"I let him go," Jin rasps as Yoongi wipes away his own tears. He stops. "What?"

     Jin pulls away from him and looks at him sadly, his face red and blotchy. "I let him go, like you wanted me to."

     Yoongi sighs and looks down. "Jin—"

     "This is what you wanted, right?"

     He shakes his head. "Jin, I know I've been selfish with you, wanting you all for myself. I know Jungkook made you happy and treated you right but I promise that I will do whatever is in my power to do that twice as much. I want to make you know and feel like you made the right decision."

     Jin brushes off what he says and looks away. "I need to be alone right now."

     Yoongi nods hesitantly and looks down before slowly getting up to leave the room, but he quickly retreats back to Jin and passionately pecks his lips, cupping his cheek. Jin's hand reaches up and gently pulls Yoongi's hand away, shaking his head.

     "Not now."

     Yoongi swallows harshly and nods, understanding that it definitely isn't the time to be doing things like that. He's willing to give him time, he's willing to wait. He wants to do things right for once.

     Jin lays down once the door is closed and he shuts his eyes, his head aching from all the crying. He feels horrible, terrible, everything and anything that describes his exact state. He tries to think, but the harsh pounding in his head prevents him from doing so. He decides to sleep it off, even though he knows the pain will return once he's awake again. He hasn't been with Jungkook long, but why does it hurt so much?

     Maybe it's because Jungkook was a good person, he didn't deserve to be tossed away like that. He cared for him like no other did. He was there for him when he found out his mother died, he was there whenever Yoongi fucked up and almost gave him away. He knows that Jungkook truly loved him and maybe even wanted a future with him.

     Maybe if he had done things right, if he hadn't led him on and agreed to being in a relationship. He should've made it more clear, he should've waited instead of getting with the first love interest who showed pure intentions towards him. Maybe he shouldn't have fallen for the man who made his life a living hell in the beginning.

     Why couldn't he have fallen for the nice guy and not his ex-abuser?

     Why is love so complicated, so difficult, so troublesome?

     "You made it this way, you fucking idiot," he says angrily, digging his nails into his palm.

     He should get away from Yoongi as soon as possible, maybe ask Taehyung and Jimin if he can stay with them. Or maybe Hongseok since he has a place of his own now. Namjoon and Hoseok went on vacation not long ago so he couldn't ask them. But he's just so tired of running away.

     Because for some reason, he always comes back.