punch drunk love | renmin

26

renjun rolled his eyes, "you even made up that xiaojun thing. you made it look like something is going on between you two, not only you don't want others to know you're, you know, but xiaojun has a thing for hendery!"

"don't shout! someone might hear you." he covered his mouth, "i don't know myself, it's just ,,, ARGH! that's why i'm avoiding him."

"tsk, i see how you're avoiding him. you held his hand since the start of the movie."

renjun shushed him, but sicheng liked pissing him off once in a while as well.

-

school started again, the break was over. after that day things between them got even worse. xiaojun and renjun indeed hang out more. jaemin was really upset, he didn't break up with his girlfriend yet. their anniversary was that same day. a saturday.

he'll dump her one of these days for sure. it was time, today, probably, for the last time he'll make her happy and then tell her the truth, she has the right to know.

jaemin and bora appointed a date at the amusement park that evening, right after dawn. bora thought it was more romantic and special, she confessed the same day last year when the sun was going down and then kissed as the street light lit up the path.

he slept till late and woke up only hours before the meeting. got up from the bed after a long session of game playing while laying on the bed, he walked around the house, discovered he was home alone, decided he would have played some music on the speaker, some calm and relaxing music should do.

the music kept playing while he showered and dried his hair. actually he got ready earlier than expected. so jaemin dropped himself on the bed once again, singing over the ballad that went on.

he could barely hear the doorbell, when someone rang it. maybe jisung forgot his keys.
jaemin sighed, why does he always forget his copy?!

he was ready to nag his younger brother, but when opening the door he saw his neighbor, renjun, he became suddenly nervous. "hey."

"h-hey." the taller eyes widened. his eyes were red, his cheeks tear stained. "what happened?" he turned his head upwards trying to dry his tears with his thumbs. renjun shook his head, "wanna go for a match?" the short changed the topic. he didn't feel like talking.

jaemin was about to say something, but stopped himself and nodded. he wore his shoes and took the first basket ball he found in his room. he had plenty.

still, when he entered the room, he didn't notice his phone light up. it was bora, letting him know she almost arrived at the amusement park, 'i'll be waiting for you.', will she?

"i've won!" renjun said when the ball fell right into the loop. finally after past 40 minutes of striking one point each, both of them fell on the ground, heavily breathing. "since when did you have all this stamina!?" the older scoffed, "what do you mean. i always had it." all this running to keep his mind away from the younger did help after all, huh.

"don't talk nonsense." renjun rolled his eyes. a comfortable silence spread between the two of them, for some time the only noise they could hear was their tired breathing. "ren." he called the other admiring his pretty figure as he was still catching his breath, even when drowning in sweat jaemin found him beautiful.

he hummed waiting for the rest of the sentence or the other to continue whatever he wanted to say. "why were you crying earlier?"
he directed his eyes at the other's hands as he was nervously playing with his fingers, "if you're uncomfortable telling me-"

"every once in a while i'm emotional. i... tend to bottle things up, sometimes i just have to vent it out, today i didn't want to deal with it by myself ." he stopped him mid sentence, he didn't feel that way, there was no use in letting him finish. to be honest renjun felt really comfortable around the younger.

renjun paused for a second or two, "i thought you were the best choice, i'm sorry if i bothered you, nextim-"

"no, no. you didn't bother me, don't worry... i'm glad you came to me." and not to xiaojun. he omitted the last part. "you know, it's no good to bottle things up.."

renjun chuckled and nodded, "it became a habit. venting everything out all at once is just easier." jaemin rocked his back as he listened to him.

"next time when you feel sad or upset, come to me and complain as much as you want. if you do it every time you feel the need to, it gets bearable." renjun agreed. jaemin held up his pinky. "pinky promise." renjun said as he tangled their pinkies.

"i'm sorry for avoiding you." jaemin dramatically gasped, "so you did avoid me!" renjun nodded, he laid on his back, jaemin did so as well.

"remember our bet?" jaemin nodded, even though he couldn't directly see him, renjun took for granted he did, it would have been unusual otherwise.

"let's go to the sea." he said. jaemin stood up instantly "you won? YOU WON!" he picked him up from the ground and spun around holding him up, laughing and cheering. "i knew it!" he kept repeating.

"no, you didn't." renjun said as the younger slowed down. then he delicately let him stand by himself, still softly holding his waist. that moment was just right. their faces just inches apart.

the sun set already, a cover of stars was above them. what could be more romantic? well if only they weren't covered in sweat... STILL.

they both had the same idea. 6 inches. only 6 inches separating one another. renjun went for it. now or never, he said to himself.
he was getting rid of the space between their faces. one by one. not even an entire inch was left when jaemin made one of the biggest mistakes he ever made in his life. stave off the kiss.

shame prevailed renjun, i'm so stupid. he repeated to himself. HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, HE THINKS YOU ARE DISGUSTING. nothing nice was going on renjun's mind.

he slid off jaemin's hand from his waist. as if he didn't cry enough that day, tears started building up, he tried his best to remain calm, he turned away from him and started walking, just in time. he didn't feel like running but there was no need to. jaemin wouldn't follow him anyway.

he could hear renjun's sobs, he could hear him trying to compose himself, he could hear everything. something just made jaemin unable to do anything. he didn't know he stopped breathing until renjun was out of the frame. when he fell on his knees realizing what just happened and shed numerous tears. what stopped him. he liked renjun, a lot more than he could even think. it might be guilt, it might be the promise he made with himself. but the same moment the shorter was about to kiss him his head went blank.

was it all over? did renjun hate him now? numerous questions went on through his head, but honestly none of them were about the girl that was waiting for him at the amusement park.

he didn't break one, but two hearts that evening.

🗻🏜🗻🏜

is this a sad chapter?