Neon Lights

Chapter 18 - The Long and Winding Road pt. 2

•Dean's POV• [ b i t c h ]

I feel like my beating heart has been gripped with icy claws and ripped out through my ribcage. It physically hurts, and I feel like I'm going into cardiac arrest.

Who knows, maybe I am. Maybe I'll have a heart attack and die. I hope so. I really hope so.

So far no such luck, I'm still breathing. I sighed softly - may as well enjoy our last day, then drink until I'm crying when I get home. Then maybe I'll go for a drive, or maybe keep it simple and overdose on the good stuff. Either way, I'll die and then I won't have to deal with this bullshit.

"Come on Dean. They'll get suspiscious. Let's enjoy ourselves, while it lasts," Cas ushered me out, back to the people. I don't want to deal with people, I just want to jump off a rooftop.

Goodbye, Cas.

I smiled to myself. I'd feel like I could fly - then I'd hit the ground. After all, falling is just like flying, but with a more perminant destination. Death, just what I want.

"Everything okay, you two?" Soda asked teasingly. Cas nodded, pretending nothing had happened. Pretending he hadn't just smote my heart and soul. How does he do that?

"Anyway, back to my story," Dally grabbed everyone's attention, "In the end, I took the pack of gum and left. I don't have money, and it's just some fuckin' gum!"

Cas shuffled his feet awkwardly, "Y'know, Dally, stealing is wrong."

Everyone laughed. How cute it is, how new Cas is to this whole greaser, bad-boy gig. Well, he'll be out soon. Whatever.

"So I stole some gum," Dallas threw his arms up, "Shoot me."

Cas shrugged innocently, "Fine, fine, whatever. I'm just sayin'."

"Listen, kid, my name is Dallas Winston, and there's somethin' you should know about me," Dally looked straight at Cas, making him squirm, "I always get what I want. I want a pack o' gum for free? I'll get one. I want a cigarrette? I'll get a cigarrette. I wanna die? I'll die."

"Please don't die, Dally," Johnny mumbled quietly, tugging Dally's sleeve. Dally's face softened, as it always does when he looks at Johnny.

"Don't worry, Johnnycake," Dally messed up Johnny's hair, "As long as you're alive, I'm alive."

"I wouldn't bet your life on ol' Johnny's life," Two-Bit warned, "He'd probably pull some dumb move, jump in a fire to save someone. Get hisself killed."

"Guys," Meg waved a spatula at them, "Can we stop talking about death? This is like a depressing chruch sermon. Let's talk about sex or partying or something bad."

Everyone, naturally, looked at us, as if we're the experts on sex. Half the time, we're bumbling around wondering what to do! "Hey, I already told y'all about our car episode. What more d'you want? An orgy? Jeez."

"Maybe," Soda muttered, "I miss that time when--"

He was interrupted by a kick from Darry, "Shut your mouth, Soda, or I'll roundhouse kick you into next week. You know I will."

Soda went quiet. He knows better than to mess with Darrel Curtis. We all do. The silence didn't last long, though, because Soda dared continue; "Yeah, go ahead, pretend you didn't enjoy my dick in your--"

Darry tipped his chair and he tumbled to the ground laughing. Darry followed it up by tackling him and playfully punching him. Ponyboy nearly spat his orange juice all over the table, "What?!"