Neon Lights

Chapter 22 - Tainted Love

•Castiel's POV•
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May 22, 1968
3:15 p.m.
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I sat in my room quietly, thinking while tapping my nails on my desk. We finish school on June 13. We graduate on the 14th. The thought of finishing school made my head spin, and oh what a hot celebration Dean will host, I can see it now.

I sighed deeply. Lately, I've been feeling like Dean's sex toy and nothing more. I can't get his voice out of my head; "Aw, does my little fuck toy need some using?" It irks me. Is that all I am? A fuck toy? A doll that sits in the corner of his room collecting dust and getting no love until one day its master feels horny?

I shook it off. He was probably joking, right? Didn't sound like it. I sighed again. I don't want to be a mere hole that Dean can stick his dick into, I want to be his lover. But what did I expect from a guy like Dean Winchester?

"Hey, Cassie! What's giving my little brother the blues?" Gabriel placed his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. I shook him off briskly, "Nothing. Just waiting until four."

"Any reason why?" Gabe cocked an eyebrow. I shrugged, "Going to tutor Dean. Nothing special."

"By tutor you mean fuck the neon lights out of," Gabriel laughed, "I know what you get up to."

I shook my head with a disgusted snort, "No. That's wrong on so many levels. I'm helping him study for a Math test."

Gabe nodded disbelievingly, "Uh-huh. Sure. If you're not getting that ass, you're missin' out."

For a moment, I clenched my fists. Has Dean been fucking my brother behind my back?! "Gabe, are you trying to tell me something?"

Gabriel laughed aloud, "Of course not, silly! I'm just jokin' around. Of course you're not screwing a low-life like Dean! Don't get your panties inna knot, Cas."

I relaxed, "Exactly. Now, It's almost four, so I need to get ready."

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Same Day
4:01 p.m.
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"Ugh!" Dean huffed, "Tell me again why this is so important?!"

"Well--" I was cut off when John barged in roughly, making me jump. Dean didn't even twitch. Is his dad cross or something? Or is he always like that?

John eyed us both, "We're off to Sammy's baseball practice. Yours is right after, Dean, so be ready. See you in an hour."

With that, he left, and I heard the front door shut soon after. I sighed heavily. With the house to ourselves, I know just what Dean'll pull, and for once I'm not in the mood.

"So, anyway..." I began to explain the importance of this test, trying hard not to be distracted by Dean's hand massaging my thigh and moving up to my groin. Eventually I smacked his hand, "Are you even listening?!"

"Sorry," he looked at me with a shameless grin, "Got sidetracked thinking about your beautiful--"

"Dean, you have a test to study for. You wanted to get your grades up, this is how," I stared at him straight in the eye, passing the hint of fuck-doll-doesn't-want-to-play-today.

Dean got a quizzical and slightly hurt look on his features, "Angel, you actually don't want a blow today? What changed? Was it something I did?"

Yes. "No, I just want to focus on this. I'm...tired today."

I wanted to speak my mind - tell him about how angry it makes me that I get no cuddles, no sweet nothings, no loving from him, and he just insists on sex. It bothers me. But I can't shake the feeling I'm just being irrational, and I don't want to lose him over some silly quarrel.