Why Won't You Love Me?: Sequel to Dazed & Confused

7

1st of September 2022

Angus and Julia Stone: Big Jet Plane
'I wanna hold her, I wanna kiss her. She smells of daisies, smelled of daisies. She drive me crazy, drive me crazy.'

'Izzy I don't know what to do,' I sighed, throwing a pillow into my wall. Shawn was still in Los Angeles and I was back in Sydney as I had my studies, work and my internship to focus on.

'About Luke and Shawn?' Izzy asked and I nodded, earning a sigh from Izzy. Usually, Milly would be here too but she had to work late, so it was just the two of us tonight.

'Yeah, it's a bit of a fucked up situation.'

'You still love Luke, don't you?' Izzy asked and I just lay there, because I did but telling someone else but it real and something that I actually had to deal with.

'Yes, but I want to be with Shawn, I really do. I love him so much but not the way that I love Luke.'

'Do you love Shawn as more than a friend?' Izzy asked softly.

'I do, I really do love Shawn but just...' I said trailing off, the words getting stuck in my throat.

'Just not as much as you love Luke?' Izzy questioned and I nodded. 'Does Luke know how you feel about him?' Izzy added and I just shook my head.

'He thinks that I despise him.'

'Do you despise him?' Izzy asked before shoving a handful of MnMs in her mouth.

'I hate what he did to me, but do I despise him?' I questioned, the question more directed at myself than it was to my best friend laying beside me. 'No, I don't hate him, I don't think I could ever hate him.'

'Maybe you need to break up with Shawn?' Izzy suggested softly, placing a reassuring hand on my arm and giving me a soft squeeze.

'I don't want to break up with him,' I said, my words getting caught in my throat because that was the last thing that I wanted to do.

'You two have always been friends before anything, if you are honest with him I think he will understand.'

'I love him though,' I said, a tear falling down my face, Izzy noticing that I was crying and pulling me into a hug as the tears continued to flow.

'I know you do Si, but you don't want to lead him on any longer. I know that it sucks but Shawn would probably appreciate it if you didn't lead him on any longer,' Izzy said kindly as she continued to hug me, my tears slowly stopping as she continued to consol me.

'You're right,' I said simply. 'What if it ruins our friendship though, I mean I know that things would be weird between Shawn and me if we break up, but what about the seven of us?'

'Nothing will happen between the seven of us, everything will stay the same as it always has been Sienna, we just want you and Shawn to be happy. Shawn loves you so much that all he wants is your happiness and if that is with someone else or nobody at all for the moment, or even him if things change, he won't mind. You and Shawn both value your friendship too much to not be friends again.'

'God, why are you so smart about this?' I asked with a stifled laugh, Izzy just shaking her head as she squeezed me tightly once more.

'Because it's my job,' she said simply. 'Speaking of jobs I also need to get home because I have an early tutorial tomorrow morning and you know that we will end up not sleeping if I stay any longer.'

Izzy was studying Law and International Business at The University of Sydney, Stefan also doing the same degree as her.

'Yeah I have work tomorrow morning so probably for the best,' I said, standing up in unison with her as I walked her to the front door.

'Everything is going to work out fine, okay?' Izzy said with a supportive smile, taking my right hand in her own and giving it a squeeze.

'I know, thanks for your help Izzy,' I said pulling her into a tight hug, feeling extremely thankful that I had someone like her in my life.

'Anytime Si, I love you,' she said as she walked out my door.

'Love you too,' I said with a smile, giving her a wave as I watched her walk to her car to make sure that she got there safely.

The clock in the main living room of Shawn and mine's house read just after 11 pm, meaning I needed to be up in seven hours for an open shift at the cafe and going to bed was exactly what I had planned until there was a hard knock on my door.

'Coming!' I called out softly. Luckily for Shawn and myself, we live in a pretty secluded part of Sydney, meaning that the media had no idea where we lived and hopefully it stayed that way.

'Hey,' Luke breathed as he walked inside, leaving me stunned that once again, he was at my house.

'What are you doing here?' I asked as I slammed my door in frustration, not in the mood to see Luke right now, or never, as trying to suppress my feelings for him was not going well.

'Izzy texted me about half an hour ago, apparently we need to talk?' Luke questioned as he followed me into the main living room. 'God this house is huge.'

The one time that Luke had been here he only stayed in the living room attached to the kitchen and dining room, rather than the main one, because that was the one decorated with Shawn's awards and pictures of the both of us.

'What do you want?' I said standing with my arms crossed, my heart beating at a million miles per hour, trying to hide the sweat that my hands were producing.

'You tell me Sienna, your friend is the one that said that we need to talk.'

'I don't know,' I said, my voice cracking slightly and the stern look on Luke's face fading into a more worried look.

'What do you mean?' he asked with a nervous laugh and I shook my head because I really could not talk about this with him, not now, not ever.

'I can't Luke, I can't talk to you,' I said avoiding his gaze and I heard Luke walk over to me, his hand gently lifting my head to look at him, which is when I realised I was crying.

'Hey hey, you can talk to me about anything Sienna, you know that right?'

'I can't talk to you about this though,' I sniffled, feeling like an absolute mess right now.

'Be honest with me Sienna, do you still have feelings for me?' Luke said out of nowhere which made me cry even harder.

'Yes,' I sobbed, pulling away from him, Luke letting out a heavy sigh and I just shook my head in disbelief that I had told him that I still loved him.

'What about Shawn? Do you still love him?' Luke asked gently and I nodded.

'Yeah, I do.'

'This is quite the mess isn't it?' Luke questioned with an awkward laugh and I nodded in agreement.

'God I am so sorry,' I said wiping the tears from my face, a considerable distance now between us.

'Sienna you know that I love you. You have nothing to apologise for.'

'Okay.'

'However, nothing is going to happen unless you want it to. You have no idea how badly and I want to hold you and kiss you. God damn it Sienna I miss you so much, you drive me fucking crazy but the ball is in your court, Si, so it is really up to you what happens between us now.

--------------------------------------------------------

hey hi what's up hello what the HECK just happened in this chapter

i feel bad for shawn but i also feel bad for sienna but i do not feel bad for luke coz he is mean 

anyways how is everybody hope you are all good i wanna finish this story before i go back to uni in a month ugh i'm going into my third year and I can't be bothered lol (i am actually very grateful to be studying something I love but ya know)

anyways thanks for reading xx