Why Won't You Love Me?: Sequel to Dazed & Confused

13

1st of October 2022
Hurt for Me: SYML
'Love, I only want you next to me. Sweet love, how long before you hurt for me?'

'So he hasn't spoken to you since your birthday?' Milly asked as we sat at my kitchen table, in my house. Shawn being himself, decided to let me keep the house, even though I told him to keep it but according to him, he has put me 'through way too much already.'

'Nope,' I said as Izzy poured us another glass of wine. It was our weekly girls night, which always resulted in us drinking way too much wine.

'What a dick,' Izzy said and I nodded in agreement with her. I texted Luke after he left my house in the early hours of Sunday morning and he responded saying that he would call me soon, but alas, it has almost been two weeks and I have received zero texts or calls from him.

'Yeah,' I sighed in defeat, feeling stupidly sorry for myself for being led on by Luke, who only wanted me for sex and that's it.

'You'll find someone better than him don't you worry,' Milly said with a supportive smile, swirling the wine glass in her hand drunkenly, making me giggle slightly.

'What about Henry?' Izzy suggested and I just shook my head right away. 'Why not?'

'Because it's Henry, he is like another brother to me,' I said simply. There was no denying that Henry is attractive but I would never see him than anymore as a friend.

'Shawn was like your brother before you two started dating,' Izzy pointed out and Milly nodded in agreement with her, both of them with sheepish grins on their faces, which is what they get when they are trying to plot something together.

'Shawn was different though, I met him before I met you guys and even then there was something more than friendship there, even though I didn't want to act on it until later.'

'I reckon Henry would be keen still, he has been infatuated with you since our first English class in year eleven,' Milly said and I just rolled my eyes at her as I changed the subject to how many exams we gave at the end of the semester and what we want to do for New Year's Eve this year.

'I should be going, I have work early tomorrow morning,' Milly sighed, placing her empty wine glass in the kitchen sink, Izzy doing the same.

'Yeah me too,' Izzy and I said in unison before we said our final goodbyes and I was left alone once more.

As I was getting ready for bed, my doorbell rang and I knew there was only one person who shows up at my house at nearly midnight unannounced. Fucking Luke Hemmings.

'What do you want Luke?' I asked as I opened the door. He was in his pyjamas, an old AC/DC top and grey tracksuit pants but he still managed to look good.

'We need to talk,' he said walking straight past me, his Van clad feet carrying him to the main living room, which seemed to be the place we had our heart to hearts at the moment.

'You didn't seem to want to talk after you snuck out after my birthday,' I snapped harshly and he sighed, a sorry look on his face. 'Do you know how much that fucking sucked Luke? The day after my birthday celebrations, that really topped it off.'

'I'm sorry Sienna, I don't know how to cope with this!' he exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air as I just rolled my eyes at him.

'Cope with what?' I asked as I sat down on the couch and he continued to pace around the living room like he was having a drug-induced episode or something.

'How much I love you and how much I want to be with you but I can't be with you and it is hurting me so bad,' Luke said rambling, finally sitting down across from me on the couch, a sad look in his eyes, like there was more he wanted to say but he could not.

'Glad we are on the same page then but I just have one question,' I said calmly, Luke nodding for me to go on. 'Why can't we be together though?'

'Because I just broke up with Eliza and Shawn just broke up with you. Do you know how bad that would look for the both of us if we just started dating each other that soon after our respective breakups.'

'Would probably only look bad for you,' I said harshly because I was beyond mad at him at this point. 'I'm not famous.'

'Yes, you fucking are Sienna, whether you like it not. You are the ex-girlfriend of two famous musicians and your brother is also extremely famous, so yeah you are famous.'

I knew he had a point, people know who I am because of those three people Luke just pointed out. I cannot go to the shops anymore without people pointing and staring anymore, I cannot go out into the city without people asking for a picture or stopping me to say hello, and I definitely cannot date Luke this soon after breaking up with Shawn.

'It hurts Luke, it really really hurts,' I sighed, choking back tears once again, not wanting to cry about this, as it makes me seem selfish, which I am being right now.

'Please don't cry Si, this will work, the timing is just wrong.'

'Fuck timing, when will the timing ever be right between us?' I questioned. 'The timing wasn't right when you went to London to study, the timing isn't right now because we both just got out of relationships. The timing probably won't be right in six months, or even a year from now, who knows if the timing will ever be right Luke.'

'Sienna we just need time.'

'I don't want time, you can't keep stringing me along like this. You can't keep coming to my house and saying you love me but then also say we can't be together and the timing isn't right and all this other bullshit,' I snapped and Luke looked so shocked with how angry I was he just continued to look at me whilst I continued my rant. 'You're the fucking love of my life Luke and nothing is going to change that!'

He was glaring at me by this stage, but his eyes became soft when I accidentally blurted out that he is the love of my life.

'I'm the love of your life?' Luke asked softly and I nodded, a small smile appearing on his face.

'Well yeah,' I mumbled, avoiding all eye contact with him, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. 'But this hurts Luke, it really hurts.'

'I know Sienna, I know. We just both need time,' Luke said and my heart was aching because he did not say that I was the love of his life either, which made me hurt the most.

'I think you need to go, Luke, I have work early in the morning,' I said standing up and he nodded before I walked him to the door, both of us with awkward smiles on our faces, pretending the conversation we just had never happened.

'I'm sorry Sienna,' Luke said as he left and shut the door behind him, leaving me standing there, alone and just confused as ever.

'Me too Luke, me too.'

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god damn this chapter was a wild ride

also got VIP tickets to 5sos but we got stitched up with the seats so now im sad but still excited but also sad

anyways i love old me i love them i am that keen for the album 5sos are the best yeahhhhawwwww

thanks for reading xx