Through the Grapevine [ABANDONED]

An Awkward Asexual and a Disaster Gay

Balthazar cast a glance over his shoulder to see his cousin walking through the doors with Michael, hand-in-hand. He shook his head. His cousins and their respective boyfriends were too cute. Of course, Balthazar was too awkward to so much as speak to any guy, so he was only slightly jealous of his cousins. 

"God, they're so extra," Crowley said, startling Balthazar. 

"What?" Balthazar asked, looking around because surely the most popular guy at school wasn't talking to him. 

"Michael and Lucifer. I mean they're just so extra. And adorable. But extra," Crowley explained, glancing over at Balthazar. Balthazar had quit trying to look for someone else because now he was sure Crowley was, indeed, talking to him. 

"Uh, yeah," Balthazar said. 

"I'm Crowley," Crowley said, offering a hand for Balthazar to shake. 

"I know," Balthazar said before he realized that was the most awkward response he could have had. 

"Uh...are you going to tell me your name?" Crowley asked with a smirk. Balthazar winced. God, was he messing this up. 

"I'm Balthazar," he said, shaking Crowley's hand. 

"I know," Crowley said with another smirk. Balthazar realized with sudden embarrassment that Crowley was flirting with him. The captain of the football team was flirting with Balthazar, and he was being the definition of an uncomfortable, awkward, asexual. 

"Well, I gotta go, see ya," Balthazar said quickly as he attempted to step around Crowley and sprint to his class to avoid dying of embarrassment right there in the middle of the hallway. 

"How is it that I knew there would be more of you?" Principal Ketch said with a sigh as he looked over Balthazar's outfit. "My office, Mr. Milton. Now." 

"What, Principal Ketch?" Crowley said from where he was still leaning cooly against the lockers. "I think Balthazar looks nice. Plus, his skirt does go past his fingertips, so there's nothing technically against the dress code." 

"Oh dear, tell me you aren't part of this, Crowley," Principal Ketch said. "Who even started this?" 

"Hey, Principal K-K-K-Ketch," Michael said as he leaned one of his arms on Balthazar's shoulders. Balthazar could see what Lucifer saw in Michael. Despite his stutter, Michael Winchester was one confident mother fucker. 

"I should have known...what do you think you're doing, Mr. Winchester?" Ketch said. Meanwhile, Lucifer seemed to have joined the fun because Ketch went silent. "Mr. Novak, I don't seem to understand what the hell sort of statement you're making..." 

"Well, the school doesn't seem to have an issue with the word fag being spray-painted on my boyfriend's locker, so they really shouldn't care if I spray paint myself with whatever the hell I want," Lucifer said calmly. 

"All of you. My office. Now. I need to go track down the rest of your...friends," Ketch said with a huff before disappearing down the hallway. 

"We just got in trouble," Crowley said with a chuckle. 

"Thanks for standing up for me," Balthazar said as they walked down the hallway. Crowley chuckled. 

"No problem, it's true, your skirt isn't a dress code violation," Crowley explained. 

"I'm asexual," Balthazar said, and then realized he had absolutely no reason to say that and wished he could dig a hole, bury himself in it, and then scream until he lost his voice. And then suffocated after all that.