Don't Be Scared

S.1 E.13 ~ Doctor of the Dead (Ch. 109)

No matter how much I try to protect the ones I love, I can't stop their fuckin' faith! Why is it always the good ones?

Why is it always the people I want to see in my future? Is it me? Am I the bad luck? Cassandra doesn't deserve to die in this stupid lab. She deserves to die in a hospital with the best supply of medicine slurping through her system.

She deserves to die in the world after the vaccine was made; preferably after she had gotten to see her first grandchild. She deserves so much, but now she can't cash in the offer. Now, she has to lie on a fucking metal slab and die alone.

Why? Because Murphy still comes above us all. It's not fair. It's not fucking right. No one deserves to die alone. After a couple of minutes of sulking in my sadness, I heard approaching feet move against the echoing ground as people jogged my way.

No care in the world stopped me from looking and see the approaching threat. What's going to happen if it's actually a threat? Kill me? Yeah, that's definitely the worst thing right now. Instead I buried my head deeper into my kneecaps, keeping my eyes shut.

Maybe if I keep them closed I won't see how bad the world really is and maybe I can forget about it all. I won't have to see anyone else die; I won't have to let anyone else die alone.

"Baby girl, come on. Get up; let's finish this for her." A concerned parental voice stood in front of me, trying to convince me it's better to keep moving on.

It's not. I want to mourn; I want to be sad. I want to keep being sad until I can see Cassandra and Charlie again. I shook my head against the support beneath my forehead, refusing to move from the spot Murphy had left me in.

I'll move when Cassandra is running down that hallway, all better.

"We've got to go, kiddo." Doc tried next, but I didn't even shake my head for his encouragement.

A warm aura began to stand on the left of me, then Warren's whole presence seemed to disappear.

"She wouldn't have wanted this from you. Charlie wouldn't have wanted this for you either."

"They're dead, 10K. What does it matter?"

A deep sigh was exhaled from the male on my left before I felt something touch the tip of my toes. He sat or stood in front of me with only the tips of our boots connecting us.

"Get up."

"Make me."

"So, you're willing to let the memory of Charlie die?"

"I got Murphy to the fucking lab in one piece, 10K." I shot my head up, allowing the red rings circling my eyes be visible to the public, "I did everything Charlie died for, but it still wasn't enough, because someone still died!"

10K was bent down in front of me, his butt not touching the floor but his knees bent.

"Get up."

Such encouraging words.

"Go with them. I'll be fine out here."

"I'm not leaving. Either you get up, or I'll lift you up."

"Why not leave? Everyone else doesn't seem to have a problem with leaving me, Cassandra, Mack, or Charlie! So, why do you care so goddamn much?"

"They didn't have a choice, (Y/N)."

The way he said my name it was as if it was a warning; a warning not to cross a line he made up for me. He knew I'd say something and regret it later. And you know what? He was right.

I scoffed at his opinion, rolling my eyes as I sniffed up snot from running down to my lips, "Mack had a choice. If I would've kept my mouth shut, Charlie would've had the choice of coming here. If I didn't force you to give Cassandra the alcohol, she'd be here now."

10K leaned his elbows on his kneecaps, staying balanced on his own.

"Mack knew you'd be fine by yourself. Charlie was proud of you, because you spoke your mind. You didn't force me to do anything, I did it willingly, knowing the consequences."

I rolled my eyes, leaning my chin on my arms. I took in his words as I felt his eyes burn into my forehead. His fucking staring.

"So, you're doing this self-pity thing, again?"

"So, you're going to be a jerk, again?"

10K leaned his head back in frustration before leaning it back down so our eyes could glare at the other, "Grow up, (Y/N). Mack left because you'd be fine with us. Charlie was either going to die now or here with Cassandra; his death was bound to happen whether you want to admit it or not. Do you think my pa wanted to leave me? I was only sixteen when it happened, (Y/N)."

My eyes went wide for only a moment, realizing 10K informed me of something about his past; something about a sensitive topic. I may have known his pa had passed, but I never knew his age.

"People die all the time. You know this. Cassandra is still alive back there and she'll continue to be living when we find those antibiotics. I promised to keep you safe for her. Now, get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Rule four, stop feeling sorry about death."

My eyes stared deep into his calming orbs, realizing that every single word he spoke was the truth. If Charlie was meant to die, he would've died there or an even more horrible scene. Death wanted him, it watched him, and it got him.

|| Rule four, stop feeling sorry about death ||