Don't Be Scared

S.1 E.11 ~ SoM (Ch. 76)

Difference between actual Willy Wonka grass and this apocalyptic grass? You can't eat this grass. The soil must be amazing around here. I remember we had a hard time getting plants to grow at Camp Blue Sky.

"You know, you can come with us, right? We'd be glad to take you away from here." I informed her, giving her another option in the apocalypse.

She made me feel things; things that 10K makes me feel. I want to study these feelings more. With 10K and Carol, but I think it would be a lot more comfortable to do it with another female. Plus, Mack and 10K aren't.. on good terms.

I want to understand and question these things. Why do they make me so heated in the face? Why do they make me want to stay at their sides? It's confusing and frustrating. Maybe, together, without them knowing, I can figure it all out.

"(Y/N), you're surrounded by men. I've been taught to stay away, it's safer. I can't withstand thirty minutes out there, anyway." Carol sighed, throwing a hand full of green weeds around us like it was snow.

"Rule one, you don't show you're scared. If you show men that you're scared, they'll take advantage of that. They'll know and use that fear against you." I repeated the words and polished them for this situation.

"Those men I surround myself with wouldn't hurt a fly but a Z is a different story. Mack is my brother so he's always been around a female. Doc has a kind soul and wouldn't hurt a fly, but he would cut a plant down.

"Murphy is an asshole, but he means well, sometimes. 10K.. 10K would protect his flock if it meant risking his life. Especially if a tornado filled with Zs was approaching. 10K is our best observer, he notices things I can't."

"Isn't Murphy the one who did that to your arms? Isn't 10K the one that caused the scratched on your face? Mack has to leave you at some point."

I regret telling her about how I got these scratches, how I got the fading cut across my face. Still, she was good at guessing that at some points Mack does have to leave me.

"Accidents and musts. Murphy didn't really have anything to do with these; I choose to jump from the vehicle. 10K was saving me; I was in the way. I rather have a scratch than a bite. Mack has to leave me; I have to learn to be on my own, Carol, and so do you."

"No." She was quick to reply, "Don't ever leave me, please."

I smiled light at her clingy self. Suddenly, something brushed up against my shoulder like it was trying to catch my attention.

"Come on. We're leaving." Warren spoke once she had my full attention.

"I'll be out here." I assured, standing up from my seated position.

I wish she didn't say that in front of Carol. Warren looked at Carol, carefully, before going inside the building we were in front of to get Cassandra ready.

"Come with us."

I extended my hand downward, wanting her to take it. The red-haired female looked shocked at my invitation, like she never expected us to actually leave, but when the reality set in, she was up and around my sides.

No, no, no.

"No! Don't leave me, please."

Slowly, I wrapped my arms around the top of her shoulders, "Come with us, then. We'll protect you."

Carol shook her head, ferociously, against my chest, "Don't leave!"

"Carol, I have to, but you can come too."

Still, she refused to listen to my invitation, or she just didn't want to go. The young girl kept her arms wrapped around me, shaking her head back and forth. I could feel wet droplets rain down against my shirt.

My heart ached at the feeling and at the knowledge that she was crying; that I made her cry. Cassandra and Warren limped out from the building after three minutes of Carol and I just standing there in silence.

A satchel was wrapping around Warren's shoulder as a hand was helping Cassandra. When they exited the building, they immediately saw us together. Our position doesn't look good. I don't feel good.

They gave me a look like they worried about me not leaving with them. How could they think like that? I'll always follow them and Mack. I'll never choose someone over them.

"Carol, you have to let go if you are not coming with me."

The carrot top shook her head, swinging her curly strands around in my arms. Sighing, I nudged my head for the two to leave me for now. I'm not staying here. This isn't my place. This isn't where I get my break.

This isn't my home. My home is with Mack, 10K. My home is sitting in the back of a vehicle eating Twinkies with Murphy. My home is running away from Zs with Doc. My home is dividing food rations with Warren.

This is not my home. My brother is home and I'd never leave him. Just like he would never leave me. We're family by blood. Actual family and that's hard to keep up with nowadays.

"Please, don't." She pleaded, her arms tightening around me.

I don't want to do this to her, but I need to catch up with them. Taking a deep breath, I finally--for the first time since I've met her--shoved Carol off of me. Yet, I couldn't find it in myself to let her fall over.

I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to her feet before she actually fell over onto her back. I kept her at arms length apart, though.

"I have to go. I have a family that needs me, Carol. If you aren't coming, then do not touch me. My family is my first priority. Now and forever. Don't get in my way again."

Family will always be my number one. I formed a family that I'm not willing to lose; I refuse to let another family be ruined by the apocalypse.

* No One's P.O.V /// Focused on Addy and Mack *

"Hey, can we go talk somewhere real quick?" Addy asked her boyfriend once she was off of the Jeep that brought her out there.

Ignoring the rest of them, Mack quickly agreed and followed the female somewhere more private for their discussion.

"So, what's it like in there?" Mack question, wanting to know as much about the place that held his girls so captivated they didn't want to leave.

Addy sat on an overly large, fallen tree while he stood beside her legs, observing her face, closely.

"Sounds a little weird. I mean a zombie bea--."

"Uh, no. No, no. Mack, it is--It's beautiful. I wish you could see it." Addy smiled at just the thought of--what she hoped to become--her new home.

A new beginning for her. Not for Mack and her.

"It's so different from out here. I feel safe; I think (Y/N) does too. She met a girl in there and they seem to have really clicked. I don't think either one of us have felt this safe in such a long time."

Not letting it show that hurt Mack more than what he would've thought, he didn't say a word for a moment.

'Don't I make you feel safe?' He thought to himself, already feeling like he was losing someone so important.

|| At the end of the day, all you have is yourself and that has to be enough ||