i like you (say it back) ; egobang

12

Arin feels like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet for thinking that it would all go well. He wishes that he could take it back as he stands there, staring at the door for what feels like forever but is actually only maybe ten minutes. With a sinking pit in his stomach and an aching in his heart, Arin slowly walks over to the couch, falling onto the soft cushions. He feels numb, feels like crying. He doesn't know what the hell to do.

So he does the only things he can do. He gets up and gets the remaining alcohol from the fridge - one mostly full bottle - and he sits back down to call Suzy. The phone rings for a bit, but then eventually Arin is met with the sound of his wife's soothing voice.

"Hey baby," she says cheerfully into the phone, and Arin feels like garbage for even calling her and bothering her when she seems to be having a good time at Jean's. He doesn't want to ruin it for her. "What's up? How are things going?"

He feels stupid too when his eyes start watering, and he immediately changes his mind. "Fuck," he murmurs, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. "I'm- I'm sorry for bothering you, Suze. I wasn't really thinking, I guess. It's not that important and I don't want to ruin your night over it, so I'll um- I'll talk to you later, baby. I love you. Goodnight."

He pulls the phone away from his ear to hang up, but stops when he hears her voice. "Wait, wait, Arin no- don't hang up. Tell me what's going on."

Putting the phone back up to his ear, he lets out a sigh, leaning forward and covering his eyes with his hand. "It's- it's not good, Suze," he whispers, biting down on his lip before he reaches for the bottle beside him and takes a sip.

"What happened, baby?" she questions softly, making Arin want to just curl up in a ball and cry because he wishes that she were here so badly to hold him and make it all better. "Arin?"

"I kissed Dan," he tells her, sniffling. He can hear her saying something to her sister and then there's some shuffling before he can hear her inhale sharply. He exhales a shaky, shuddering breath before he speaks again. "It didn't go well. I feel like a stupid fucking asshole right now. God, Suzy, you should've seen the way he pushed me back, the way he looked at me and the way he acted like my touch suddenly started to hurt him. It broke my heart."

"Well, where is he right now?" she asks, probably standing outside if the sound of cars whirring past in the background is anything to go by.

Arin shrugs but remembers she can't see him. "Honestly, the fuck if I know," he mutters in response, clearing his throat. "He left a little bit ago. Said that he 'can't do this, can't deal with it right now' or whatever, and then he ran away. Drove off in his car without another word and left me here alone."

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," she whispers. "I'll get on the next flight back so that-"

"No," he interrupts her, running a hand through his hair. "Please, don't. I know that you're having a good time there with Jean and I'm not gonna fuckin' ruin that for you. I... I'll be okay by myself for the next couple of days, alright? So don't cut your time with your sister short, and don't worry about me."

"Arin," she sighs, and he bites down on his lip, feeling guilty for calling her in the first place. "You know that all I'm gonna do is worry about you for the next three or four days until I get back home. I can come back now, it's okay."

"I think I need to be alone right now anyway," he insists, trying to convince himself that being by himself is the best thing for him right now even though he knows it isn't. "I appreciate it though, I really do, but you haven't seen your sister in a while so just... take your time there with her, and I'll see you when you come home on Sunday."

"Are you sure?" she presses sadly, her heart aching for him. "Well... I love you, and I'm so sorry, Arin. Things will get better, I promise."

He doubts it, but he doesn't say so aloud. "I love you too, Suze. Thanks for listening to my bullshit whining."