Avalon

•53•

Should I Try To Fix You

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When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

For whole minute Noel didn't know what to do. The young man so similar to his Nate was breaking apart right in front of his eyes and he felt so helpless. He partly wished for his old gang there to help deal with this. Not that Noel was emotionless or couldn't feel sympathy for others, he just struggled with his own mental issues enough to last a lifetime or five, so how he was supposed to help anyone else at this point?

Still, he had enough experience and knowledge to guide someone out of panic attack. So that's what he ended up trying to do, but the man was falling deeper into his own world and barely reacted. Well, at least he wasn't suffocating anymore. Which in Noel's book was a step forward.

However, he was still stuck in this lone hallway, somewhat helpless himself, trying to make sense of this mystery man and help him. It was surely not comfortable for any of them. So he did only thing that made sense at the moment- he locked his wheels and pushed himself out of the chair, on the floor. Then he pulled the young man into an embrace and started softly hum a tune from his time at the camp.

It was once a very sad song they used to sing whenever they cuddled all up together and felt more miserable than usual. That was a song about someone possibly coming to terms with grief because of loosing someone and most times they were grieving about one thing or another. Mostly of their lives. Or a lost kid. Later it became just that sad song striking them at those cold nights on lone, dark rooftops, on long ago departed buildings. And it felt like a promise for them that one day they will be fixed enough to have a life they all longed for so badly.

He usually sang it to himself when his depression hit especially tough note on his ship day. A quiet lullaby for when the booze ran out and sleep still couldn't come fast enough.

And it also was for times the memory of Samara cane too hard to deal with.

When the tears come streaming down your face

'Cause you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

What could it be worse?

He wasn't that much for music but there were times it was the only way he could deal. So he did pick up a vocal part in his somber voice. He wasn't the best singer out there but back in the day he could carry a tune just as well. Maybe not anymore but it still was there, deep in his chest.

And the man in his hold was slowly relaxing and after few moments joined in. Slightly cracking, weaker, but little higher note, than Noel but the voice was slowly warming up. And it seemed the guy knew it as well, because he wasn't struggling with lyrics.

So they kept singing it, with each part getting stronger and clearer. And now Noel was shocked how much the man not only looked like Nate but also sounded. They had same vocal range and all. And it took Noel by surprise but he kept going.

After a while, and possibly fifth time going through the song they both were calling it quits.

Tears come streaming down your face