Twin Hearts

Chapter 20

KATH'S POV:

I cannot understand Quen. Simula nung nag usap kami after kong maaksidente sa camp, we haven't talked again. I don't even know how the rest of that 4-day trip passed. At hanggang nakabalik na kami ng Manila, hindi ko pa rin maubos-maisip kung paano nya nagagawa sa min 'to.

Good thing, bakasyon. Dahil kung on-going ang classes, hindi ko din alam kung paano ako mag-aaral nang hindi distracted. Just like now...

Time check - 3:00PM. I decided to take a bath and find something to eat. I've been awake since 7:00AM. Nakaalis na si Achi at maya-maya babalik na sya from the mall, pero wala pa ring nangyayari sa buhay ko.

Katulad din ng routine ko in the last few days, kain at tv lang ang pahinga ko sa pag iyak. Minsan nagsasabay pa ang panonood ng tv at pag iyak kapag may nakita akong nagpapaalala kay Quen. I feel terrible. Bakit noon, kayang-kaya ko naman syang snob-in, pero ngayon para na kong mababaliw sa kaiisip sa kanya? Sabi pa ni Achi, mukha akong suicidal.

I turned off the tv and grabbed my phone, then dialed my bestfriend's number. Nag ring at sumagot naman agad sya from the other line.

"Hello Kath."

"Loraine, what's up?" i wanted to sound cheerful but cannot.

"Nandito ako sa Bulacan, nagbabakasyon. Ikaw ba?"

"Bahay lang."

"Ah.. hindi kayo pupunta somewhere else?" she asked again. We don't really get to catch up on each other's life unless we talk. Pareho kasi kaming walang Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

"Kagagaling ko lang sa camp. Sumama ako sa outreach ng org ni Achi. Kailan ka babalik dito?"

"Hmm.. baka sa enrollment pa. Wala naman kasi akong gagawin jan sa dorm eh. Why'd you ask?"

I thought for a while. Sasabihin ko ba yung problema ko? Pero nahihiya naman ako. Baka sabihin nya, nagpapakatanga lang ako kay Quen. But then again, bestfriend ko naman sya and i think she won't really judge me.

"Hey, natahimik ka na. May problema ka noh? Kaya ka tumawag," she was confirming it rather than asking.

I sighed deeply. "Loraine, kami kasi ni Quen.. I don't understand what's happening." Kinuwento ko sa kanya lahat - kung paano nagsimula yung problema.

Sya naman yung napa-buntong-hininga. "Oh. I thought very confident yang boyfriend mo.. napaka insecure pala nya."

"Hindi ko talaga alam.. gusto ko naman syang maintindihan, pero i really can't. If he's hurt, i'm hurt too!"

"Mukha nga.."

Napaiyak nanaman ako. For the first time, nailabas ko sa ibang tao yung sama ng loob ko about sa amin ni Quen.

"Anong gagawin ko?" i helplessly asked.

"Kath, alam mo naman na NBSB ako diba? Pero if you really want my answer, I'll give a logical response.. since cool-off na din naman kayo, which is parang hindi na din 'kayo', eh di ituloy mo na. Break up with him."

Mas lalo pa kong napaiyak sa advice nya. "Y-you think so?"

"Diba sya ang nagbibigay ng emotional instability sayo? Eh di eliminate him. That's part of the solution. Then ayusin mo ulit yung sarili mo," she straightforwardly said, na parang Math lang ang dinidiscuss namin.

Hindi ako makasagot. Of course, naisip ko na din yun. Pero hindi ko kasi matanggap...

"I don't want to sound so heartless. Alam ko namang nasasaktan ka ngayon. Pero, diba we have always been taught to think critically?"