Coma [YiZhan FanFiction] ✔️

Chapter 32. A new beginning...

Chapter 32. A new beginning...

One week after Zhan separated from Yibo, he flew to Beijing with his parents. He filled out a release document at the university. Then they drove to Zhan and Yibo's house, where they packed Zhan's things and put them into a van with the help of some family employees.

Zhan's parents had offered to take him back to Seoul. But Zhan did not want to. He wanted to stand on his own two feet and now that he has dropped out of his studies, at least for the time being, he wanted to use his newly gained free time and travel.

And the very same day, he took a packed suitcase to the airport and started his journey around the world. Meanwhile his parents took care of the divorce. Zhan gave them and the lawyer all the necessary powers of attorney so that he had nothing more to do with it.

***One year later***

Zhan travelled the world for ten months and eventually ended up in Surat, India. He looked for an apartment there and enrolled in a course where he began to learn Hindi. (😉I promised he would learn it😉)

He couldn't say exactly why, but he fell in love with the city and wanted to stay and live there, at least for a while.

In Surat he dared to make a new beginning. After four months his parents had informed him that Yibo had finally agreed to the divorce. After that, there was nothing left that had connected the two of them.

The only thing that remained was Zhan's feelings for Yibo. No matter how hard he tried, he still loved him. But he was much too disappointed in him to even dare to think about forgiving him.

In his new home Zhan quickly made new friends and the better he spoke Hindi, the more friends he made.

At regular intervals, he and Zoey wrote each other e-mails. That's how he also knows that she and Seungyoun want to get married. Li Wenhan and his friend moved to Japan together, where they started their own business with a bathhouse.

She wrote him nothing about Yibo. He had written her that he would immediately stop contact if she did so. Even though it was hard for him and he was curious, he didn't want to know anything.

Because what if she wrote Zhan that Yibo was with his colleague? What if it was the colleague of all people with whom he drank wine and asked him to tell Zhan that he had no time because he had to work?

Zhan wanted to spare himself this pain. He knows he can't handle it. Just like he knows he still loves Yibo and misses him. That he'd like to see him and talk to him. But the fear of what he might learn kept him from doing that.

"In six weeks, I'm leaving for Beijing. My best friend is getting married and I want to visit my parents' grave." He told one of his new friends when they had lunch together.

"Will your ex-husband be there?" His friend asked.

"According to Zoey, I guess he canceled. Apparently, he has to work. Otherwise, I wouldn't have accepted the invitation." Explained Zhan.

"Personally, I think you should talk to your ex-husband. Otherwise you'll never be able to move on. You ran away from home instead of facing him. That's why you don't know how he sees things. That's why you won't be able to move on. It's all in your head. And you still love him." Explained one of his new female friends.

"You're right, yes. I know all that. But I can't jump over my shadow and talk to him. Just the thought of it scares me. And when I think that maybe he's really with that guy from back then, it makes me sick." Zhan replied.

"What we mean to say is, finally find out what really happened back then and talk to him about it. And then maybe you can put all this behind you and really start over." Said his friend.

"Can we please talk about something other than my ex-husband? I really don't want to think about him right now." Said Zhan and pushed his food, which he had hardly touched, away from him. He had lost his appetite.

Of course, Zhan had often thought about contacting Yibo and talking to him. But whenever he thought about it, he also had to think about how Yibo had treated him and what he heard on the phone.

He couldn't just snap his fingers and forget about all that. He couldn't forget how much it hurt him. Hearing Yibo say, "Tell him I have to work. " While a stranger was on the phone and was asked beforehand whether he wanted red wine or white wine.

At that moment when he heard that, his heart felt as if it was trapped in a vice. Full of pain and agony his heart had felt. And his heart is still trapped in that vise today. He had tried everything, but he could not free it.

Yes, he ran away from it all then and didn't want to face it. He even let others take care of his divorce. He only did one thing, run away.

And even now a year later, he still didn't feel ready or even able to talk to Yibo.

Maybe Yibo had long been over him and was happy in a new relationship. Then he wouldn't be interested in a conversation anyway. And then it would just be embarrassing for Zhan.

Embarrassing to arrive a year later and want to talk when the other one maybe had already made a new start with someone else.

Sure, there might be a lot of maybe, but all this was going through Zhan's mind.

Zhan had never learned to deal with such situations. He had never really had arguments, discussions and suchlike and therefore he didn't know how to behave best in such situations.

Even now at twenty-two years old, Zhan didn't know. He is a coward who prefers to avoid any argument. It scares him when someone yells at him because he doesn't know how to act or what to say.

He was used to small arguments with Yibo. Disputes that were because of trivialities and quickly ended again.

But even when he had the fight with Yibo, when he was suspicious of him, Zhan didn't know how to deal with it. He had yelled at Yibo angrily, but also gave in immediately. Even though his heart was against it.

For days, he suffered from Yibo accusing him of looking for someone new. And instead of throwing it at him, he remained silent and suffered for himself alone. He didn't talk about it with anyone. Until Seo Joon asked him what happened. It was only with him that he managed to open up and confide in him.

And that's when he felt how good it did him. How important it would have been to talk about it right away. But he only learned that when he talked to Seo Joon.

Some days, more often lately, he felt like he did again. As if he is trapped in a bubble or is in a coma somewhere and watches everything from outside his body, unable to intervene and put up with everything.