Was It... Just Me?

Diving behind Peter's curtains

Ok so, rewind back to 8th grade, it's was a pretty calm year. I hadn't spoken to Josh since 7th grade. Peter and I were... Class mates...sort of. As for Harry I had never spoken to him yet, even so, I didn't like the guy one bit.

It's was towards the end of the year, my school bag had torn so I had to get a new one. I went and bought a simple Nike bag because, brands in highschool are Very crucial. There was only one problem. Peter had the same bag. There I was standing in the store, deciding whether to get a no-name brand bag (which at the time, seemed like social suicide) or the same bag as Peter. My decision: I can handle Peter, social suicide on the other end...not so much.

I arrive at school with the same bag as Peter, only a different colour because, I caved like that. I knew there would be consequences to my actions. I saw the smug look on his face before his flirtatious, egotistical, mouth opened.

He said
"I See you love me so much, you even got the same bag as me"
"Actually no, I'm not the one who got it, my mom did, so, I didn't have a choice"
(Laughs) " mnnnnk"
(Me rolling my eyes, I hate the fact that he can tell when I'm lying)
"You're not that special"
"If you say so Keo"
(Uggh that stupid smug look)

My friends didn't make it any easier Everytime he was around and when he wasn't, they wouldn't stop talking  about how he was my "PM" aka "perfect match" like on that show on MTV. They went on and on about how he and I were both smart, and how our personalities matched. They said we could be a #Powercouple. 

Then on top of their raving, they would make noises whenever I had an incounter with him. It was really embarrassing and frustrating.

9th grade arrived and they forgot about him mainly because we weren't in the same class.

My school has that effect on people. It is so invested in separation, that if you aren't in the same class as a person and you aren't friends with them the chances of you seeing them are close to one in a million.

Even after being in the same school for four years I still seen new people in my grade everyday. It's both a blessing and a curse I guess... I mean, What if there's actually a decent guy in the school but, because I attend prison everyday I don't see him.  Then again there are some people I'm glad I don't see despite that fact that we attend the same school.

9th grade was incredible, I was in a class with all my friends, I had the best grades and no situationships.  Life was fabulous until, the third term. Things started to change. Guys started paying attention to...not just me but to all the females around. Taking chances, flirting, complimenting to get somewhere. It was odd.

Unfortunately for us, distance and not paying attention to them and their tricks for the whole of ninth grade made us forget the reasons why we had to forget about them in the first place.

10th Grade
Peter had been texting me as usual but, now he seemed genuine. He would text things like.

"I hope we land up together one day"
"My PM" "You are beautiful".Yes, for him that was genuine, well for me at least, it was just normal for him to say things like this all the time. The problem is when such meaningful phrases are used so often they lose meaning and eventually mean nothing. Only I didn't realize that then.

We went form casual conversations to emotionally invested one's. It's like he suddenly realized all the things I wanted to say to him in 7th grade. Like he finally saw me. It was like he unlocked a door that had been waiting to be opened for such a long time.

I had to admit to myself, when your surrounded by people who keep putting one idea in your head eventually you consider it.

I started picturing what it would be like if we were to have a relationship. The thing is it wasn't hard to imagine. He had always been my constant. When I have feelings for someone they don't just disappear. Those same feels from 3 years ago we're still there. Thirteen year old Keo was still waiting to be heard and that tiny bit of hope I always had finally becoming a reality.