Kai Smith x Female reader

Chapter Twelve

Moral of the Story - Ashe 

(TRIGGER WARNING) 

When it would hit him, it would really hit. Sometimes he'd lay on the ground for minutes, hours or even days. The longest he had ever stayed there weeping was three days. The only reason he had gotten up was because he knew that he needed to stay alive, not for himself, but rather for her, for the city, for his friends who had magically become the family he never thought he had needed. 

He still didn't know if he'd take it back or keep the memories. But the pain... The pain was what needed to stop. The blood needed to stop but it never, ever did. 

It always felt like a monster was lingering around him during these dark times. This monster was always there in his corner, but it was never able to touch him. If it was, he would have been dead by now. 

There was one time when the monster almost touched him. Just a hair away from his heart, the nails of the beast grazing his chest and wrists like the thorns of a rose. There was a time when those blade-like nails were ready to break through the skin. 

But he broke through, first. As much as he had begun to hate his team members, as much as they didn't understand what he was going through, one of them never failed to be the leader and hold him. The black haired ninja would be there and tell him it was okay. 

Cole didn't understand, but he tried. No matter what the circumstance was, Cole held his teammate until the tears stopped; and even after that he continued to hold him. 

The spiky-haired boy didn't know why he only cared about his team when he needed them. He knew he shouldn't only care about them then. 

A flower inside of his heart had bloomed and released the aroma of hatred for the people who cared. The people who cared all of a sudden didn't, no matter how much the showed it, and the people who left him in the dust mattered so much to him it was impossible to explain. 

She left him waiting. She left him in the dust. 

But she was the only one who mattered. She didn't care but she mattered. 

~

"Y/n?" Kai asked. 

I looked up at him, blinking. "What?" 

"You're not going to leave me waiting, right?" 

"I didn't leave you waiting on that bridge, did I?" 

Kai shook his head, looking down. He pressed his lips together, thinking. 

"Hey," I said. I reached my hand out, grabbing onto the sleeve of his hoodie. "I didn't mean it like that. Of course I'll wait for you." 

Kai looked up at me, amber eyes glazed over. You could tell he was holding something back. Something more than tears. "Thanks..." 

~ 

Kai didn't want to ask the beautiful girl that, but he had to. He couldn't stand wondering if she was going to leave. 

Wherever you go, Y/n, please take me. Wherever you go, please take me. 

Kai didn't know what he wanted. He knows what he needs, but what does he want? For it to be over? Or to just feel alive again? Or were they the same thing? 

Even though he had his answer, Kai still wondered. He was still curious, yearning for another answer from Y/n. 

No, no you idiot. You already have an answer. You guys aren't even dating. You can't ask so much from her. Not ever. You will not do that to such a wonderful person. You're already terrified of who you are when you're alone. Don't make her choose between me and herself. Don't make her choose who to save. 

She could be the greatest chance he had. He wouldn't lose it. 

Okay, he whispered to himself, don't leave me waiting in the dust, Y/n. 

_

JASHAJHSJAHSJA I'm so sorry this chapter was so short. I have't updated in over two months, but I promise I'm getting out of this dUmB wRiTeRs bLoCk. Thank you all for your patience. More updates coming soon! I love you all so so much! Stay beautiful, sorry for any typos <3 <3