Writer Boy // caskett

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

CASTLE'S POV

I could feel a pit of anger burning in my stomach, writhing to free itself from my control. I was already pissed off, and seeing Josh standing in front of me only increased that by ten fold.

Josh and I have history, not necessarily great history, but I decided to move past from those events because it only caused me to be unhappy and I found myself asking what the point of living was if you were unhappy. Every now and then Josh decides to make a smart ass comment, bringing back unwanted memories, and I usually end up slamming him into a wall and showing him who really has the upper hand.

He has somehow fooled Beckett into thinking he's innocent, and the thought makes me sick to my stomach. He is far from innocent, he is anything but.

I clenched my fists, my fingernails digging into my palms to remind me of the pain I'll only bring myself if I end up killing this little shit. I could feel both him and Beckett staring at me like I was a freak, but I needed to control myself, I needed to make sure I didn't hurt anyone.

"Castle?" Beckett squeaked, the anger that was in her voice only minutes ago was gone, replaced with fear. Fear directed towards me.

"I'm fine." I said, my muscles straining as I spoke.

"Are we still going out to lunch, Kate?" Josh asked and I froze.

I looked to Beckett to see her eyes wide and her hand gripping the door knob tightly. Her gaze switched from me to Josh, then back again.

"What?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Beckett suddenly stood up straight, composing herself and trying to act rationally towards my attitude. How great.

"Josh and I are going to lunch, not that it's any of your business," Beckett huffed. She opened the door, grabbing her purse and then coming back out.

"Good day, Castle." She said, stomping away from me like a child. She was just angry that I called her out mid-tantrum. I watched as she walked over to Josh and smiled at him sweetly, ignoring the fact that I was still here and could see everything they were doing. Then she has the nerve to reach down and lace their fingers together like they've been dating for months, when they've only known each other for less than a fucking week. I then realized how ridiculous that sounded, noting that I've only known her for a week as well.

She turned around, sending me one last glare as if to tell me to stay away from her apartment. Josh then pulled her around the corner, and out of sight, only making me feel a thousand times worse than I already did. I knew that I shouldn't have yelled at her, I should've taken her words like a man and admitted I was wrong, but when she told me I wouldn't survive in the real world, something inside of me just snapped, like she stood with a frail twig at her feet and something told her that the right thing to do would be to step on it and break it.

"Fuck!" I yelled, my fists slamming into the brick walls outside of the apartment. I needed to get this girl out of my head. She found her way in, without even trying and i carelessly let her. She takes up my every thought, and I've found myself being influenced by her, even when she wasn't there. I've found myself wondering what she was doing, if she ever thought about me, or to be exact, what she thought of me. She probably thought I was a horrible human being, not capable of decency. It's not that I'm not capable, but I'm not sure how she expects me to be okay with her coming into my life and only in a few days changing it, shaping it, to where it's completely unrecognizable to before.

In conclusion, I needed a drink.

*******

"Castle," Esposito waved his hand in the air trying to get back my attention. He was telling me a story about something he and Ryan had done at the party when I...disappeared with Beckett. Which is what had been distracting me at the time.