Gods Aren't Perfect - OFFICIAL

Chapter Three: The Edge Is Real (and there's a prophecy or something, who cares)

"What the hell." Faceless stated.

"Yep, that's my name," Inferno replied. "Hell is my middle name, to be exact."

"So, uh, do we murder him or what?" Lizzy spoke up, pencil at the pale man's throat. "Because I feel like we should be trying to murder him."

"Actually, wait a moment. I gotta find my fridge," Inferno replied. "It's back here." Seemingly unaware of the weapons pointed at his back, he turned to a side room and pulled out a dark metal box a little shorter than himself, but way taller than all the other small humans.

"COLD." Tronso perked up at the existence of the fridge, and quickly rushed over. Inferno picked up the blond boy with a hand and placed him in the fridge before slamming it shut. Ophelia's fireball friend darted out of the way of the icy wind, hissing.

"That must be the ice god," the man in black noted.

"Ice... god?" Ophelia asked.

"I'll explain everything. You have a seat, and I'll talk to your friend later." With a snap of Inferno's fingers, twelve chairs rose out of hidden compartments, crowding around the crimson and black throne. He walked over, gesturing for the others to follow. And follow they did.

"So... what's going on?" Calandra inquired. "Why are we here? What happened to us? Where do we go now?"

"I can't tell you unless I know, and I won't know until you tell me," Inferno replied, his crimson eyes scanning the five in front of him. Tronso, of course, was still in the fridge, happily doing whatever ice gods do in fridges way taller than they are.

"Well, we were in someone's apartment. There was a really tall dude, around your size actually, maybe twenty meters tall?" Ophelia began.

"He's 19.5 meters, and annoyingly optimistic," replied the dark man without missing a beat.

"I think he was glowing, and had dark skin kind of like mine - maybe a few shades darker," the spectacled girl continued. "And I think he owned the apartment. There was a crazy house party going on, and there was a lot of strange drink - the packet said like Cool-Ade or something, but I don't remember that much. And I was just minding my own business, doing my own stuff, and then he woke up and watched me and the others for a bit and put us all on a table, then there was some music, and then he left. Then he came back and threw all of us in a bag, and then I woke up on a giant pile of trash. Then I found Liz here, then Calandra, and then we accidentally summoned a giant tomato plant-"

"It gave us bananas," the green-haired girl interrupted, earning herself a glare from the other two.

"-and then we kind of climbed it and ended up in your courtyard. Then we ran into the three guys." Ophelia finished.

"For your information, my name is Faceless," the masked man snapped. "And before you ask him, his name is Koumei. The fridge boy is Tronso or something."

"And how did you three get up in my world of doom and death and misery and things like that?" Inferno asked.

"We rode a goose," Faceless answered.

The dark god gave them a nod. "Give me a moment to think, please." He turned away from them, got into his The Thinker position, and turned on a stereo which played the Jeopardy theme.

[Slightly recommended listening: The Jeopardy Theme ]

Three hours later... just kidding.

Three minutes later, Inferno turned back to the others. "Okay, I've figured it out. It all lines up with the ancient prophecy of... The Twelve."