Gods Aren't Perfect - OFFICIAL

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Perfection

"What in the <insert non cuss word> are you?" Atticus blinked. "Why are you..."

"You his roommate or something?" Faceless pulled out a pair of round metal bits and replaced his mask lenses with them. "Ah, much better."

"What's going on here...?" a voice near the back rumbled as Cielo walked in, eyes half-closed and stance wobbly. "I fell asleep. What did I miss?"

"Oh! Your friends came back," chirped Mary-Sue as he went to grab a coffee. "There's thirteen of them!"

"Thi- I'M SORRY, WHAT?" The God of Creation grabbed a mug, filled it to the brim with coffee, and chugged the boiling liquid down his lungs. "They actually made it?"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK WE FLEW IN YOUR WINDOW FOR, IF NOT TO WARN YOU?" came a hint of Helene's voice from his room.

"Free food?"

"THAT TOO, I GUESS," added Argelia.

"Anyway, welcome back. Not really. If you want a slice of cold hotdog pie we still have some of it in the fridge."

"Hey, uh. Is this the part where we beat you up?" Lizzy asked.

"No. I'm a busy man, and I have a paper to write on my now-finished project."

"Project?"

"Mary-Sue."

"WHAT?" Rosa coughed out a bit of ash. "Actually, let me rephrase that. WHAT?"

"Stop talking in bold. You'll disturb the neighbors. Anyway, my final is due tomorrow, and so I needed to create something to show my abilities of creation - specifically, creation of sentience. Of course, I haven't been doing so well, so I needed my final to be absolutely perfect so I can still pass and get my degree."

"So... you made this... Mary-Sue?" Calandra cringed as she looked at the extremely saturated colors in front of her.

"No, she showed up in my living room one day. But she's definitely an apparition of sorts - I know how she was made. I might try recreating the experiment later before I present to make sure it's absolutely right."

"And you still threw us out." Eleanor replied.

"Look, I was on a hell of a sugar rush. Have any of you been vomiting cheddar with the consistency of water? Licked a bunch of glowing bushes? Had your left arm transformed into a reddish berry?"

"...no?"

"Well. Let me tell you what you are made of, then." Cielo turned around, gesturing to each object with a hand. "Blondie. The stove over there provided enough flame for me to take its pure magical essence out."

"What do you mean...?" Rosa crossed her arms.

"Whichever one of you is water, I don't really care. There's a nice sink and some other stuff in my bathroom. Nature person, I'm assuming green hair?"

"EARTH."

"Whatever. You and whoever the other person is came from my pride and joy, Vera." It took a while to see where he pointed this time. The answer came soon... a potted plant.

"Wind, fan. Electricity, plug. Ice, fridge. Sound, some guy brought an amp or something. Can't remember. Vision blurry. Night and light, an on and off lamp. Genius, I know. It's the best I could come up with in a sugar-inebriated state. As for magic... I'll get back to you in a minute."

Gee, thanks, Midnight huffed.

"Time is everywhere. And I had a bunch of forks lying around. And from there, I have my own magic. How else do you think I'm going to do the creation exam? So it only took that, plus a place where I could take the essences of each element, then take everything required to make a smaller being and mix them all together. Plus a pinch of too much messing around, boosh, immortality, therefore making you a bunch of small gods. Pretty basic, though. Anyone could make that. Unlike you all, Mary-Sue could get me a pass."