Prince of Bones

9. Anticipation

The following days Hongjoong felt more and more sick.

After Seonghwa had begged the robes to let them stay in the same cell Hongjoong could at least feel the warmth of his lover against his side and curl up in his arms as if trying to hide. Hanbyeol's death ate away at him, posioning his feverish brain with images and sounds he did not wish to hear.

Seonghwa was worried about him, sometimes trying to call his name, to see him open his eyes but giving up quickly when Hongjoong did not answer. He could not answer. He felt as if drowned in the ocean, numbness spreading all through his body. He could probably not even talk even if he tried, his mouth not responsive enough.

Sometimes though, when he felt Seonghwa shake and cry against his body he kept holding securely against his own, sometimes Hongjoong opened his eyes, trying to whisper without actually talking.

He knew he was not dying. He was becoming one of them and he probably started showing the first evidences on his face. Seonghwa kept giving him relieved glances whenever his eyes were open, sometimes kissing Hongjoong's numb lips sweetly to let him now he still could.

Seonghwa did not change. Seonghwa was healthy and beautiful, blessed by the cult in order to bear their god.

Whatever that meant. To bear their god.

Seonghwa asked for food for Hongjoong once. He discussed with the leader robe for a while until he finally gave in and Seonghwa fed him while Hongjoong could only lean heavily against the man's strong shoulder and receive his food.

He lost all sense of time.

He knew that Seonghwa was gone sometimes, nothing more than the gray cave with the blankets they slept on surrounding him. He figured that they taught him some things, how to kill himself with a ceremonial dagger or something like that.

Hongjoong needed to gather his wits and it grew increasingly difficult with the fever slowly weakening him. As rough as Yunho's hands could be, Hongjoong for sure missed them right now.

He wanted to go home.

-

One day Seonghwa came in and was as white as a sheet of paper. He had collapsed next to Hongjoong, breathing heavily and Hongjoong had studied him, his pale face and lips that had been bitten until they bled. The pirate had weakly lifted his hands then, pulling Seonghwa down on his body to snuggle against him and the man did exactly that, hiding his face in Hongjoong's neck.

Hongjoong breathed his scent in, relishing in still sensing him at least a bit when he loosely wrapped his arms around the other man.

"Today was another feast as tomorrow will be the ceremony. They took Youjin down and the meat- it's all the same Hongjoong, I- I'm so freaked out. I need your help."

First Hanbyeol, now Youjin.

He had failed again. Hongjoong felt deserving of death by now. He was a disgrace as a captain, having lost not one but two crew members who spent their last days in solitude and suffering, without him even trying to save them.

If he had not been so sure he was dying either way Hongjoong might have punished himself for this. But now, what was he supposed to do except for dying? He would spent his time being sorry afterwards.

"Hongjoong, please. I know you are sick, can't move and all that. But please tell me what to do. I don't want to die out there tomorrow and I also don't want to see you die." Seonghwa was sobbing by now, holding onto Hongjoong's clothes with weak fists while his tears dampened the fabric. Hongjoong wanted to hold him so bad, wanted to pull him close, kiss his tears away and promise everything would be alright. But he could not. He could not lie to Seongwha.