Prince of Bones

21. Back to normal

Hongjoong decided that his favourite kind of morning were that ones when he woke up cuddled against Seonghwa. No matter how often this had happened so far he was always very content with opening his eyes to Seonghwa's smooth collarbone, feeling safe in his familiar arms.

It was weird how much he was craving this sense of security. He had learned it the tough way how much he hated that comfortableness being gone after letting Seonghwa leave the first time and knowing that soon it would happen all over again let his heart feel like a hollow shell.

He just wanted to always have the other man at his side. But he knew it was too much to ask.

Hongjoong burrowed his head in the other's chest, pouting to himself while nobody was looking. His selfish and brutal side told him to just kill Seonghwa's mom and unburden his lover of taking care of her but of course that idea was the absolute worst. Then he would drive Seonghwa away for sure.

Seonghwa smelled nice, why did Seonghwa smell so nice?  Hongjoong wanted to drown in his scent, wanted to have it all around him, on his clothes, his body, his lips.

It was unfair. Hongjoong always got whatever he wanted, no risk too high and no price too much. But the only thing he only ever wanted kept being right out of his reach.

Hongjoong peeked up at Seonghwa, studying his peaceful face. Seonghwa's long lashes shadowed his cheeks so prettily when he closed his eyes and his lips were parted a bit, showing the way he stuck his tongue in between his teeth slightly while he slept. His skin was a bit more pale these days because of their long stay in the cave so he looked a bit like a very soft vampire whose hair was all over the place.

Hongjoong just wanted to keep him.

He moved closer again, huddling against the warmth of Seonghwa's naked body, settling one arm over his hips gently. Hongjoong liked listening to the sound of his heart beating away. It calmed him nearly as much as the constant and rhythmic rushing of waves did.

Hongjoong gently kissed at the man's chest, inwardly thanking the man's heart for beating so dutifully, for keeping him alive like that. Hongjoong would forever resent himself if it ever stopped, if all the troubles he put Seonghwa through ever got too much and the man would leave him.

Just how was he supposed to make sure Seonghwa was safe and also by his side? He was not able to exchange his love for the sea with the one for Seonghwa, both reaching too deep.

Hongjoong stilled when Seonghwa stirred, carefully glancing up at him. The man was just blinking his eyes open, Hongjoong immediately feeling himself melt into their deep brown pools.

Calm.

"You keep thinking so loud... Are you alright?", Seonghwa mumbled at him raspily, settling one hand in Hongjoong's hair to run it through the tousled strands. Hongjoong sighed into the tender feeling, normally not allowing himself such softness.

"I don't want you to leave... Want you to stay right here, in bed, next to me.", Hongjoong confessed quietly, kissing the man's skin again before shifting further up so they could look comfortably at each other. Seonghwa blinked, still tired but already looking so soft.

"You know why I can't do that. It's not like I don't want to."

Right. Because Seonghwa wanted to. Seonghwa actually wanted to give up his peaceful and happy life to come live on the sea with Hongjoong. Seonghwa was crazy like that. And still they could not stay together.

Accepting it was way too difficult

"What made you fall for me, Seonghwa?"

Hongjoong caught the barest bit of surprise on the other man's face at the sudden question, then just getting a hum.