Since Childhood

37: Infertility

The next half month was the best so far for the both of them. Working in the morning until dusk. Having a quality time together each night. They are finally talking like a normal couple. They talk about movies, foods, places to visit, weather, their career, they talk about life. They also found comfort with each other. Something that they've lost for a very long time.

They spend the night eating dinner together, sometimes in a restaurant, sometimes Daniela cook, or Tim. It depends on who got home first. Syempre hindi na din mawawala ang gabi na magkasama sila at nagsisiping. Nawala na din kasi ang ilangan sa pagitan nilang dalawa. But in that period of time, there is only one thing that they haven't tell to each other. Iyon ay ang mga katagang mahal nila ang isa't isa.

Both of them are still unsure, not of their feeling, but of how one of them will react. So for now, they would let the situation flow as it is.

They had been involved in sexual intercourse since then. Hindi naman silang magasawa gumagamit ng contraceptives like condom, pills or injection kaya they are kinda hoping na sana ay may mabubuo eventually.

However, dinatnan padin si Daniela. Her menstruation is still irregular just like the past years. She's checking the calendar and tumatama naman ang mga gabi ng pagsisiping nila sa panahon na fertile sya kaya hindi nya maintindihan kung bakit hanggang ngayon ay nireregla sya.

Daniela is starting to feel nervous about her body. She's thinking, "what if kaya pala hindi ako nabutis 12 years ago is because I don't have the ability to reproduce?", "what if baog pala ako?". There are countless of what ifs in her mind.

At Sunday morning, imbes na maghaka-haka, she went to visit a friend who is now a reproductive endocrinologist. She met her at med school and they keep in touch hanggang ngayon. Ang paalam nya sa asawa ay bibisita lang sya sa kaibigang si Fatima.

Her friend, Dr. Robles, a 34 years old single mom who owns her own small clinic. It may be small but it is fully equipped. Sya agad ang naisip ni Daniela nang mag desisyon sya na ipatingin ang reproductive organs nya. If the diagnosis will be fine, she'll be relieved and she won't overthink any longer. But if there really is a problem, at least, she will be able to treat it, yun ay kung maaari pang masulosyunan. But the whole time she's in her car, driving, she's wishing na sana ayos lang ang lahat.

As soon as she enter her friend's clinic, may dalawa pa itong pasyente kaya naghintay pa muna sya. When Dr. Robles is finally available, they had a short chit-chat before finally examining Daniela's body using different machines na hindi pamilyar sa mata ni Daniela. Iba naman kasi ang mga devices na parati nyang kasama sa pagpapaanak.

While waiting for the result, Daniela patiently wait at the living-room-like set up on the client's deck. Napatayo na lang si Daniela sa kaba nang makita nyang lumabas ng examination room ang kaibigan habang may hawak na mga papel.

"So...?" Daniela asked. "H-how was it?"

"Please, take a seat, Daniela."

Rhein did. Sa tono ng boses ng kaibigan nya, sa aura ng mukha nito, and by her feedback when she asked the diagnosis, Rhein knew. Something is indeed wrong.

She is not ready to hear it. Pero she needed to know. Papaano nya matutulungan ang sarili if she will ignore it? God knoes how much she wanted to cry that very moment.

Nang magkatapat na silang nakaupo, Dr. Robles handed the papers toward Daniela.

"Maybe you should check it yourself."

"Pero hindi ako marunong bumasa ng-"

"Yes you can. Halos wala namang pinagkaiba ang profession natin. You can read the results yourself. I just... thought that... that maybe you needed to see it rather than hear it. Maybe that'll be less painful."

Upon hearing tbe word "painful", Daniela's tears threatened to fall.

Daniela checked the diagnosis. Her friend was right. She can fully understand what was written in the papers because all the terms are familiar. And painful.

"Inability to ovulate? Polycystic ovarian syndrome?" She whisper as her tears started streaming. She can understand it. She really can. But she wanted to hear a deeper explanation. She needed to know why and how it all happen.

"Daniela, you have malformation eggs. The eggs in your body is only partially developed within the ovary and there is an excess of male hormones. Isa ka sa ilang mga kababaihan who are infertile because your ovary do not mature and release eggs."

"What does that mean? Baog ba ako? I won't bear a child?" Daniela cried. Natuluan na din ng luha nya ang diagnosis na hawak nya.

"No. There is still a chance of getting pregnant. In your case, pwede natin i-apply ang synthetic FSH by injection or Clomiphene citrate via a pill. That treatment will help your egss to mature in the ovaries. At isa pa, hindi ba't you only been having vaginal intercourse less than a month? As long as hindi lalagpas ang isang taon na hindi ka nabubuntis while involve in regular intercourse, the chance of getting pregnant is still there. The chance may not be too high but at least, there is a chance."

Daniela didn't go home after knowing her reproductive condition. She spent her day walking in park, in bay, driving her car, spacing out. There are times na biglang tumutulo ang luha nya.

Sana nga ay gumaga ang gamot na nirecommend ng kaibigan nya. She really want to bear a child. She wanted to be a mother too.

At five in the afternoon, she finally open her phone. Tambak ang text messages ng asawa. He is asking her whereabouts. Kada oras ata ay may text si Timothy sa kanya.

His last message was intended to inform her na dumaan ang mama Divina nila sa bahay para sabihing may family dinner sila mamaya bandang alas syete. Timothy already texted the meeting place para kung sakaling late na mabasa ni Rhein ay at least, she know where to go.

Daniela stared at her phone. She's so down. Hindi din nya alam kung ipapaalam ba kay Tim o hindi. She wanted to be alone for the mean time but ayaw naman nya iwan si Tim na magisa sa family gathering nila. Rhein is aware that her kuya Davien is still angry at her husband kaya she can't just ignore Tim in that event.

Daniela arrived just in time. Kakaserve lang ng appetizer when she arrived.

"Tita Rhein is here!!" Angelette scream dahil sya ang unang nakakita sa tiyahin. Sinegundahan ni Zaiden ang pagsigaw ni Angelette nang makita nga ang tita Rhein nila na papalapit.

"I'm sorry. I was late."

Tim stands up and then kiss her quickly on her lips.

"Okay ka lang? Where were you?" Iritable ang boses ng asawa.

"I'm fine. Nakay na Fatima lang ako. I was dead bat kaya late ko na nabasa ang text mo." She reassured her husband.

Daniela greeted her parents. She kissed and hug them. Ganon din ang ginawa nya sa mga kuya, sister-in-laws at mga pamangkin nya.

At the end of their dinner, Avah announced a very important matter. She's expecting her second baby. Technically third but her first was unborn.

Everyone was glad and cheering. Even Rhein. She's happy for her kuya Davien and ate Avah. But her happiness don't reach the level of her parents and the rest of the people on that table.

"Kayo ba Rhein, anak? Kailan nyo kami bibigyan ng apo ng mama mo?" Her dad Nicholas asked out of the blue.

Timothy held her hand na nasa ibabaw ng lamesa. He squeeze them gently the he said, "soon papa. We are still in the process, we're trying hard."

"That's a good news then! Hala sige, let's have another fiest!" Her dad exclaimed excitedly.