Since Childhood

Teaser

“Don’t turn the tables, Tim.” I said with clenching jaw.

“You turn it first, Rhein. Pero bakit pag ako na, I always get a warning? Play fair, Rhein. If I will suffer, then bakit ako lang? You are part of this mess and I’m tired of protecting you.”

Ni minsan ay hindi ko inaakala na we are going to hate each other this much. I always have a fantasy that one day, things between us will go smoothly and romantic. But I think that fantasy will remain as it is. Isang pantasya lang. It will never be a reality.

Nakatingin kami ni Tim sa isa’t isa. Both of our eyes hold anger. Both of us don’t want to withdraw from the glaring competition.

“Anong kasinungalingan ang sinabi mo kay na mama at papa para mapapayag mo sila sa gusto mo?” I asked leading the conversation back to where they are supposed to be.

“Kasinungalingan?” He laughed. “Simple lang, I told them I love you so much and you the same. That I can’t live without you. That I love you since we were kids. That’s the lie that makes me earn their approval. Satisfied?”

Mabilis akong napapikit.

His statement hurts me so damn much. Akala ko baak na yung puso ko. Yun pala mas may ikawawasak pa pala 'to. I needed to cry. I wanted to cry. Pero saka na. I’m done crying in front of him. I’m so done.

“Okay.” I let out.

My reply made Tim confused but his confusion didn’t last for a single second.

I continue what I’m saying.

“Sige, magpakasal tayo. Let’s go on with how you prepare it. Let’s hate each other beyond expectation until one of us filed for a legal separation. Let’s see each other every single day of our lives and remind ourselves that we hate each other. Parusahan natin yung mga sarili natin. And then pag pagod na tayo, let’s simply say to our families that we had enough. Sige lang, Tim. If that’s a challenge, I'm telling you right now that I’m not backing off.”