Since Childhood

11: The Breakup

[Timothy's Point of View]

A blinding sun ray is directly entering the room. Despite of the thick blanket that is covering my entire body, the heat from sun ray is still bothering me from my sleep. Last night was crazy, it was steamy, and it was so wild. I may not have witnessed how it all happen through the light, yet every touch will remain in my mind.

Feeling delight, iminulat ko ang mata ko. The chandelier in the ceiling was the first thing I saw. Awtomatikong umarko ang labi ko. Kakaiba kasi yung sayang nararamdaman ko every time I remember how my last night went. How Amanda and I spend the night. Tumingin ako sa tabi ko but the space beside me was already empty.

I look around and saw my clothes. Mga nangangalat sa lapag. The huge curtain in the window is folded in half at the other end. Pumapasok tuloy ang araw. From my spot, I heard the water in the shower room. Lalong lumalim yung ngiti ko. She must be in the bathroom.

I picked my clothes piece by piece at hinintay ang paglabas ni Amanda sa banyo pero halos mag-ugat na ako sa kinauupuan ko pero parang wala namang tao. I stand up and then knocked on the bathroom.

“Amanda?” I called. “Are you there? ”

I twist the doorknob and surprisingly, it turns open. Dahan-dahan akong pumasok na medyo nagaalangan na.

“Babe?” I called again using our endearment.

Winahi ko ang bath curtain sa cr at wala akong nakitang tao doon.

The shower was left open and all this time I thought I was waiting for someone. Waiting for her. I turn off the shower at bigla na lang tumahimik ang paligid na parang ako na lang magisa aa kwarto.

“Amanda?” I started searching for her. Pumunta ako sa living pero ang nadatnan ko lang ay yung set up ko kagabi na mga lobo, kandilang tunaw na at yung mga petals ng rosas na lanta na. Then I went to the mini kitchen. She is also not there. I checked the veranda, nothing changed.

It's still the romantic date set up and the supposedly stargazing.

Ang huling lugar na pinuntahan ko ay ang banyo sa living. After checking on that place doon ko napagtanto na magisa na talaga ako. I feel quite disappointed. Why did she left? Why didn't she wake me up?

Pretty frustrated, bumalik ako sa bedroom. Thinking that maybe it was just a wild dream. Hinila ko ang puting kumot. A blood stain on the bed sheet tells that my thoughts were wrong. It wasn't a dream.

Hinayaan ko na nakahandusay sa marmol na sahig ang kumot saka ko inilibot ang paningin ko. Scanning the whole room I noticed the small box on the bedside table. There is a red ribbon on top and obviously its a gift.

It really was Amanda.

Lumapit ako sa box at kinuha ito. I unknotted the ribbon. Binuksan ko ang ribbon at nakita ko doon ang infinity bracelet na iniregalo ko kay Amanda noong first anniversary namin. Kumunot ang noo ko without the intention of doing so.

Kinuha ko ang bracelet at inilapag ito sa table. A letter was placed at the bottom of the box. I picked it up and unfolded it. Before reading what's inside, inilapag ko muna ang kahon sa lamesa. Noon ko na inumpisahang basahin ang mensahe ni Amanda.

Dear Tim, my one and only

I'm so sorry, Tim. I don't want to do this but I have to. Mahal na mahal kita, Timothy. And if the destiny will allow us to be together, we will be in time. This is our second anniversary and probably the last. I'm so sorry babe.

I'm so sorry kung hindi ako nakapunta at hindi kita nasamahan sa hinanda mong surprise. I'll be going back to States. My grandma needs me. My family is breaking apart. Mom and I were trying to fixed it. I'm such a terrible person for ending our love this way. Pero ito lang kasi yung alam kong paraan para hindi na natin pa makita ang isa't isa. Para hindi na tayo lalo pang masaktan.

By the time that this letter is already in your hands, nasa malayo na ako. I've reset my life.

And I'm sorry because I'm starting anew without you.

I'm so sorry, Tim. I love you but this is the end.

Amanda.

After reading her letter, lumakas ang labog ng dibdib ko. I don't know which one is to think first. Should it be who was the woman I slept with? Or where is Amanda?

Mabilis kong tinakbo ang bag ko to get my phone. With trembling hands, I dialed Amanda's local cell number. It can no longer be reach. I tried all her social media accounts but all of them were already deactivated or deleted.

How the fuck could she do this to me?! How could she leave like this?! Anong akala nya sa akin? A toy?! A toy that she can dump when and wherever she wanted?!

I continue my attempt of contacting her until my phone died due to low battery. Sa sobrang galit at inis ko ay naibato ko ito sa pader. It crashed as soon as it hit the wall.

With heavy breath, I stare at my wrecked phone. Mabilis ang pagtaas at pagbaba ng dibdib ko. After few minutes lumapit ako sa nagkalasug-lasog kong phone at pinulot ang lahat ng parte isa-isa. We have so many pictures and videos in this phone. I can't risk na pati iyon ay mawawala sa akin.

I packed my personal things and then I head straight go the reception area sa lobby para mag checkout. Isang taon kong pinagipunan ang anniversary na to at hindi ako papayag na matatapos to ng ganito na lang.

I can't. I'm not ready to face life without Amanda.

Mula sa hotel ay diretso akong pumunta sa bahay nina Amanda. I pressed their buzzer until my thumb and forefinger turns numb.

Walang sumagot. Walang lumabas to entertain me. I've started losing hope. She must be gone. Gaya ng sinabi nya sa letter.

Wait... Letter? If I got the letter, sino ang babaeng nagdala non kagabi? Sino yung babaeng nakasama ko magdamag? Is it Amanda? Was she lying on her letter? Its not impossible kasi sya lang naman ang nakakaalam where to meet me! Maybe she's still in the country!

Mabilis akong bumalik ng hotel to double check kung si Amanda nga ang babae last night. The fare between this places are quite expensive pero sa oras na to it doesn't matter. I want Amanda back and I want her to put end to this prank. As soon as the taxi driver dropped me in the hotel, tumakbo ako papasok.

“I would like to double check my current reservation.” Yan ang ibinungad ko sa receptionist. Sinabi ko ang hotel room and ang pangalan ni Amanda.

“Just a moment, Sir.” The woman said as she review their record. “Ma'am Amanda arrived around nine p.m sir. It was recorded here that she get the reservation.”

So it was really her last night. But why did she left a strange letter?

Naghintay ako kay Amanda the next day, then the next. But years passed, she never comeback.

Because of her, nagumpisang mabago ang prinsipyo ko. Girls doesn't deserve to be love so deeply. They are just for fun. For men's entertainment.