Since Childhood

44: No More... Secrets?

"What did you just said pare?" Hirro blurted out when Tim said that he had a fling with a stranger last night. He decided not to come to work. Sobrang gulo pa ng isipan ni Tim. If he force himself in working, it's not gonna help. Baka kung anu-ano lang ang magawa nya sa trabaho if that happens.

Instead of going home or going to his office, he stayed at Hirro's place. He took a good and long shower, comfort himself in Hirro's clothes, ate lunch, then he flop at his friend's sofa bed. Hirro asked why the hell did he drop by all of a sudden. That question leads to story telling. Timothy told Hirro everything. Fron the pills he saw at Rhein's drawer down to the one night stand he had with a woman last night.

"Look, pare, I'm drunk. Ang gulo ng utak ko kagabi. I don't know. I regretted every minute of that fling, okay?" Tim sighed deeply as he massage his throbbing temple. The alcohol he finished last night got him suffering now.

"Pare, I'm sorry but... but that is just so insensitive of you. You left her alone? Crying? I. mean, how could you do that? In situation like that, dapat nasa tabi ka nya. You should be encouraging her, sana inisip mo yun bago mo takasan yung problema, pare. Sa ginawa mong yun, you inflicted pain on your wife's heart. Siguradong lalong bumigat yung sakit na dinadala ni Daniela. And she shouldered all tha pain alone. All by herself!" Hirro couldn't avoid nagging his friend.

He is close both to Timothy and to Daniela but in that case, hindi nya talaga makuha ang punto ng actions ni Tim. He wanted Tim to realized that he made a grave mistake. Hirro could imagine how much Daniela cried probably waiting for Tim to come home.

"I told you. I'm under the influence of alcohol. And fucking lust." He hate to admit his last words. "As long as Rhein didn't knew, everything is gonna be okay. So please, you and I are the only ones who knew about it. Don't say anything toRhein even if she begged you. I'm gonna fix this. Everything." Timothy plead. "I just need someone to hear my side. To let it out." Bumuntong hininga na naman si Tim.

"I will not say anything. Pero hindi lang ikaw at ako ang nakakaalam. That woman you fucked, she know it."

"We will not meet each other again. I'm confident about it. If I'm wrong, then I will find a way para hindi kami magkita ulit. I love my wife, pare. And I will do anything just to make everything up to her." Nakatitig si Tim sa ceiling ni Hirro. His arms resting above his forehead. Accross the sofa bed where he is laying, Hirro is standing. Hirro's arms are accross his chest.

"What time is it?" Tim asked after long silence.

"It's almost seven."

"Gabi na pala." Timothy mumbled.

Another couple of minute passed before Tim stand on his feet. He fixed his clothing and then grabbed his car keys hanging at the wall.

"I'm going home pare. Hindi pa ako umuuwi simula kagabi. Rhein must be waiting."

"Buti naman naisip mo yan, Tim." Hirro said. "Get going. Talk to her. You didn't went this far para lang sirain din ang marriage nyo."

"That is something that I will not allow to happen." Tim's voice is in the tone of finality. "Thank you, Hirro. I'll get going."

"Yea. Drive safely."

*            *            *

Daniela is so tired although she didn't do much today. Maybe she's simply psychological and emotional exhausted dahil sunod-sunod ang naging problema nya. She was diagnosed of ovary and egg malfunction, she witnessed a mother and baby's death, her therapy isn't much of a help tapos ngayon, her husband left her upon knowing her condition. Hindi pa sya umuuwi at hindi din nya alam kung nasaan ito.

She ate dinner with Amanda and her husband. After the couple's treat, she got home hoping she'll see the familiar car on the garage but there was none. Daniela checked Tim's room but nothing bas change. Halatang walang nagalaw ni isang bagay. Their home feels so empty. So dull and lifeless.

She brought her blanket to the living room. Daniela open the tv, she fixed the station to news channel. Humiga sya sa sofa at inunan nya ang mga braso at kamay nya.

The news are about fighting politicians, crimes, price hike of necessities like veggies and gasoline, weather and other social matters. Sa panonood ay nakatulog sya. The news ended and the next show is a comedy reality show.

Pumasok si Timothy nang bahay nila and the first thing that caught his attention was the laughter of the people in the television. He walk toward the set of sofas and table. When he is almkst there, napansin nya ang nakahigang asawa. The blanket fell on the ground kaya mejo nakabaluktot si Daniela sa pagtulog.

He pick up the blanket and then roll it over her body. Kinuha din nya ang remote sa kamay ni Rhein at he shut the tv off.

He knelt on the ground. Tim lean closer and he immediately notice the traces of her dried tears.

"Rhein..." He called her name. Just like a spell that has the power to call souls back to consciousness from temporary death, her eyes slowly turn open.

Timothy flashes a sweet smile.

Rhein raised her hand and she gently touch his face. Her thumb caressed his cheeks, then nose, then his lips. While caressing her husband she asked, "am I dreaming?" Tumulo ang luha ni Rhein nang itanong nya yon.

"No. You're not dreaming." Timothy caught her hand and then he kissed her knuckles.

Rhein smiled but still, tearing up. Tears that are product of mixed sadness and bliss.

"I'm sorry for keeping secret, Tim. About my incapability." Rhein have a shaking voice.

"Please, no. You don't have to apologise, Rhein. I should be the one asking forgiveness." Using his thumb, he wipe her tears off. "Nagulat lang ako. I was angry over nothing and I let that anger manipulate my whole being. Hindi ko alam kung anong ire-react ko kagabi so I left. But I regret leaving you alone, Rhein. I regret my actions." He stated. His words meant something else. A much deeper sin he committed.

"Have you made up your mind? Are you leaving me already? B-because of my condition?" Lalong lumakas ang buhos ng luha ni Rhein. Her body also started trembling because of absolute fear.

"No! Never. I'm not gonna leave you. That's never gonna happen, Rhein."

Bumangon si Rhein mula sa pagkakahiga. She sat up straight facing him. She's so glad to hear those words coming from Tim's lips. They are like new hope that boosts her determination to live life purposely again.

She hug Timothy. She crossed her arms around his shoulder and she ushered, "I'm sorry for misunderstanding you, Tim. Fatima showed me a video of you and Amanda in the mall. I thought you still have a connection with her, akala ko niloloko mo ako but I met her today with her husband. I'm so sorry for judging you. I will be a good wife, I promise. I will not keep secrets. I'll tell you everything."

His guilt build up when he heard Rhein's honesty.

Instead of telling her the truth, Tim said, "I will not keep secrets too. Never."

Tim will bring his sin to his own grave. He will not hurt her feelings. Even if it means keeping his mistake a forbidden information that she's not allowed to get knowledge of.