Since Childhood

12: Unavoidable Encounter

[Daniela’s Point of View]

“Anak?” hearing mom’s voice coming to the room, I immediately stand up and put the curtain back to it’s original position. To it’s true purpose which is hiding the words written in the past. Inayos ko ang kurtina bago makapasok si mama ng kwarto.

She look around, realizing how messy the room is because of Zaiden and Angelette. Lumapit sa akin si mama and then she held my hand. We were looking at each other’s eyes.

“Nak, is everything okay?”

Kumunot ang noo ko sa tanong ni mama.

Nodding, I said, “yeah. Why’d you asked?”

“You usually been the sweetest tita sa mga mata ng mga pamangkin mo, and seeing you earlier, I wonder if there is something bothering you?”

“Wala ma. I was just over reacting kanina. You know that I cherish this room more than anything in this house.”

“Anak, take it slow. If you are feeling pressured because of your medical career, pwedeng pwede mo ko katukin sa kwarto namin ng daddy mo. If you needed advise, call me. You have me, always.” Mom gave me an encouraging smile.

“I know. And I’m super thankful na nandyan ka parati. I will do well in medicine, ma. Just like you, kuya Davien and kuya Noah.”

“You are already great, anak. You already proved yourself. You proved yourself not just as a medical responder, but also a daughter. Napaka swerte ko sa inyo ng mga kuya mo.”

Mom’s kindness is so pure and amazing. Even kuya Noah who aren’t her biological son is being loved fairly. Mom may have flaws but that only makes her better mother among all other. Me, kuya Davien, kuya Noah and dad are so blessed to have her.

After our brief talk, tinaboy ko na si mama papunta sa kwarto nila ni papa para makapag pahinga na sya. When she finally left, I cleaned up the whole room. Put the books to their original places and then wipe out all the colors on the wall. Hindi totally naubos ang kulay sa dingding but at least, they look better.

Nang matapos kong malinis ang kwarto, I closed it and then I went to my bedroom.

Before resting, I stripped my clothes and then went to shower. I cleaned my whole body with my hair up tied in a bun. After my refreshing lukewarm shower, I dried my body and then I put on my brasserie and lace panty.

Nang papalabas na ako ng bathroom, I stopped by the mirror.

I look at myself, at my body. Tinitigan ko ang tiyan ko. The same questions started cricling around my head. Mga tanong na ilang taon ko nang tinatanong sa sarili ko.

I could have been pregnant. If I become pregnant at the age 18, my child would already be 12 now. Kung sakalaing nabuntis ako dati, hindi ko alam kung papaano haharapin si mama. Ang mga kaibigan ko. Ang family namin. After that night between Tim and I, lalo akong napraning. I always look at my belly and conclude that a baby is developing at my body.

Tuwing iihi ako, palagi kong chine-check kung may dalaw na ba ako kahit alam ko na hindi pa ako rereglahin. Two days after that night, nalaman ko from kuya Davien na hiwalay na sina Amanda and Tim. I heard Amanda broke up with him through letter. Sobrang gulo ng utak ko. I’m picturing all the negative consequences of sleeping with Timothy. Naisip ko ang magiging reaction ni mama and kuya Davien if I turn out to be pregnant at a very young age. Naiisip ko yung sakit na ipaparanas ko kay August if he found out that I cheated. I also worry on how the society will look at me as a teenage mom.

Hindi pa talaga ako handa nang panahon na yon.

Isa pa, sino ang sasabihin kong ama ng bata if ever? Even if its Tim, hindi ko sasabihin na he was the father. I would rather tell the whole family that I slept with a stranger rather than telling the truth.