School Attack | Johnil (Completed)

17

3rd pov

Johnny had managed not to cry on his phone call with Taeil. However after Taeil had hung up on him a few tears escaped his ducts. He was in the parking lot outside the groups dance practice building. Everyone had already went home for the day him being the last one to leave the building.

He started walking home before he decided to text Taeil, he did not expect a simple text to lead to his heart break. Fuck this stupid country. Fuck this industry. Fuck me, god damnit I'm so stupid" he huffed, his phone fell to the ground making a crackling sound as Johnny through his hands up into his hair and pulled at it aggressively. After a moment of questioning what just happened, thinking through it and regretting it. He picked up his broken phone slipped it into his pocket and slowly walked towards the group's dorm.

Johnny felt exhausted the next morning, and the days after. He hadn't really talked to the others when he got home. He felt alone being thousands of miles away from home. His head was constantly pounding and he only put on his fake persona once he was on stage. He felt out of place and as if the world was out to get him. He wasn't that religious but he prayed that his misery would end soon. The rest of the group left him alone once they realized that he was never going to talk to them about it, feeling that he needed time to himself to cope with whatever was going on with their oldest member.

The group was worried for their hyung. Even more the first couple of days, since they could hear Johnny soft cries from his room. Haechan would go in there sometimes and cuddle Johnny while he cried. Johnny was thankful that he had his members.

There fans started to notice Johnny shift in behavior also. They tweeted him their support, clearly worried for the twenty-five year old. Johnny tried reassuring them that he was fine and that everything was alright, but a fake persona can only last so long until the cracks become to large and fall apart. The effect that Taeil had left him was overwhelming, the once happy go lucky oldest of Nct127 was no more only a broken man left in his shadow. The company started picking up on his behavior as well. The contract was brought up and they decided that it was best that Johnny would go on a hiatus for his mental health and be sent back home.

Johnny was relieved that the company didn't threaten his career or anything. They looked just as concerned as the rest.

It had only been a month since he last had talked to Taeil, although he still was hurt he couldn't imagine what the younger male was going through. He wanted to text him, to tell him that he was sorry and that he loved him. But it was too late.

As soon as he got back to his home in Chicago his small mother hugged him making him feel small and loved. He missed his mama, he needed this. "I missed you, sweetie." She hushed at him once they were sitting down on the couch. It had been a couple of years since the last time he seen his mama and he promised her that he would come and visit more.

"Do you want to talk about it, baby?" She hushed at him again, swiping a stray hair from his forehead. Johnny tensed up for a second, his mind flashing a picture of the first time he saw Taeil in the bathroom and then in the hallway at his school. Taeil was so beautiful it hasn't even been that long but he wondered if Taeil had gotten into the college that he wanted, was his favorite color still yellow? Did he still enjoy vanilla ice cream? He sighed to himself and snuggled into his mother's shoulder.

"I um.. I fell in love I guess." He sniffled his wrapped arms pulling his mother closer. "Oh baby."

"It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. We weren't supposed to be heart broken in the end." He cried as his mother wiped the tears from his eyes. "I know, baby. I'm so sorry" she started crying along with her son startling Johnny's father who was in the other room. He came into the living room and hugged his only child and wife, rubbing both of their backs to calm them down.

After calming down and drinking some warm honey tea, Johnny's mom spoke up again. "Would you tell me about them?" She asked softly swiveling her spoon in her mug. He had already told his mother long ago that he was bisexual, having been caught kissing a dude in his bedroom before.

"He had the most beautiful smile, mom. I think he could rival yours." Johnny chuckled taking a sip of his tea. "He was so adorably cute and when he talked or texted he made me forget about my worries that I had. His tone of voice was relaxing and I would just fall asleep to it sometimes." He continued to tell his mother about Taeil, a smile that hadn't appeared on his face in a month back a bigger than ever.

"That sure does sound like love then, my boy." His father chuckled as he cleaned up around the house.

"Yeah."

"If you don't mind me asking,,, why did you two end it?" She asked softly trying to picture the boy that her son was in love with in her head.

"I sighed a contract mama." He sighed setting his mug down on their round table. "We-" he paused before continuing. "Needed to break it before it got two serious. We kissed the day we broke up and I guess I realized that it would affect the both of us if we continued. I don't know what I would do to the people that ever hated on him if this ever got out. He has a future ahead of him. I don't want to ruin that for him. He has such a beautiful voice and if that boy doesn't achieve his dreams because of me I wouldn't know how to live with myself." He ranted with his head in his hands. His father scoffed at him and cupped his hand onto Johnny's shoulder.

"If you really love him there is always a time to let go. And if the love is true it will comeback for you. You'll feel like your life is over once again. You'll think that it cant be true but it is true this is real life, son. And you have to live your life besides the people you love." His dad preached bringing him into another hug.

"Thanks, pops" Johnny sniffled hugging his father back. He rethought what his father said,

if the love is true it will comeback for you.

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I'm still depressed cuz of this story but know I'm listening to nct dream and it's making me cry even more.